Be the Change You Wish to See in Others

GhandiDo you wish other people at your job wouldn’t be so gossipy? Would you like your co-workers to recycle?

 

Be the change you want to see in the world.”

- Mahatma Gandhi

 

All of these problems that we see in others we also see in ourselves; a lot of the things that annoy us stem from an internal attack on our own person. I’ve noticed the people who are most at peace with themselves are most compassionate toward other people. They understand that improving their outlook is more important than changing other people’s habits.

 

I always wanted to be more relaxed when I commuted to work, but I couldn’t find a perspective to help me be compassionate toward other people. I wanted them to drive like me. I found myself getting mad at each driver who took their good old time making a turn or they stopped at a yellow light and this needed to change.

 

When a driver in front of me didn’t make that yellow light, I let the anger in and accepted these feelings. Eventually they stopped taking hold of my mood because

 

  • I acknowledged these feelings

  • Relaxed with them

  • Redirected my thoughts toward something positive

 

Now when I’m making a turn I take my time and enjoy the shift in force from the car’s speed. When I come out of a turn I take the time to notice a tree that I pass or a person walking on the sidewalk. My attention is not about getting to work it’s finding the cool little things that I’ve never took the time to notice before. I’ve created a new me when I drive, redirecting my thoughts to encourage happiness.

 

I’m changing my life one habit at a time. I don’t require as much from others. I just make the change in myself and it allows me to have more compassion.

 

You can make changes in your own life to reflect what you want to see in others. Please remember that you will never be perfect, but as long as you keep adding new positive habits to your life, you’ll improve your happiness.

 

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Image courtesy of Rigmarole

Comments

  1. Yes, you are 100% right, If we bother about others, that impact will affect us not them.

    You need to improve ourself (make negative thoughts into positive) instead of commiting to change others behavior

    A Suresh Kumar’s last blog post..Securing User Submitted Data in PHP

  2. Hi Karl,

    Your statement, “All of these problems that we see in others we also see in ourselves”, reminds me of a saying I heard. “When we point a finger at someone else, we have three pointing back at us”. It’s a good thing to remember before we start being judgmental of others. It also beings our own issues to the surface.

    To see this in action, carefully listen as someone complains about another person. They both usually have the same traits.

    I love how that works.

    Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..You’re Only As Good As Your Current Post

  3. I also have the problem of criticizing others too much, but I’ve been trying to work on improving myself for the past couple of weeks.

    Rajaie AlKorani’s last blog post..Search Engine Friendly Titles In Less Than 60 Seconds

  4. Hey A Suresh, when we commit to improving ourselves the whole world becomes happier.

    Hey Barbara, isn’t funny when someone complains about someone else who talks too much. The reason they think that they talk too much is because they can’t get a word in themselves.

    Hey Rajaie, I’ve been guilty of criticizing others too. It’s a hard habit to break because it feels like it lifts us up when all we are doing is bringing ourselves below their level and hoping that we drag this person with us.

  5. Great message. Most people spend too much of their time finding flaws in others instead of improving their own flaws first. Real change starts with you, not them. Good read… ;-)

    Marc and Angel Hack Life’s last blog post..9 Black Belt Techniques for Fighting Laziness at Work

  6. You are so right dude…This even applies with my personal life. I get annoyed with my children for some of the things that they do but I soon realized that the things that drive me crazy about them are the things that I do myself.

    chris’s last blog post..Haaaaarvard

  7. Hey Marc and Angel, finding flaws in others is a great way to learn about ourselves. When we can really see where our perspective is coming from we can learn to improve our outlook.

    Hey Chris, kids are tough. We need to get mad at them for bad stuff that they do, but it’s hard when they are learning these bad habits from us.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] idea I learnt from reading Steve Pavlina’s blog, also touched on here, was that whatever we want to happen, we should do more of ourself and it will naturally happen. [...]

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