50/50 Effect
Every action has an equal and opposite response. It’s the law of our thoughts, nature, and the universe. Accepting this fact will open many closed doors.
I used to be stuck in black and white land. I thought that I was only allowed to walk through the white doors while the black ones were off limits. Where did that obscure metaphor come from? It doesn’t matter, what does matter is my own limitations.
I was limiting my imagination, creativity, and fun by 50%. This happened in almost every situation in my life. These patterns run deep.
$220
When I was 14, my friends and I found $220 on the ground. We were at basketball camp which would have given us the freedom to buy candy, athletic gear and what I thought was happiness. My two other friends wanted to turn the money in. I argued, but to no avail. They handed the money in. I was pissed.
We could have made a terrible time into something fun. I thought this $220 was the answer to my prayers. What I wasn’t able to see until many years later was that I never gave myself a chance to have fun. At the time I thought the camp was a terrible program. A lot of it may have been the camp’s fault, but I never owned up to making a good time of a tough situation.
This outlook ran its course throughout my life. I never thought to argue for just $20 or even consider my friends’ points of view. My two friends were both raised Catholic and if they didn’t turn that money then in that was a sin against God.
That’s way more important than me buying candy.
I couldn’t see any of these options. It was all black and white.
Every Job
Every employer was always lame or boring and wasn’t able to challenge me. They were the dark cloud wrecking my life.
My emotional shift began when I started to see the patterns reoccur at every job I had. I would emotionally pull away and coast.
It’s Never All Your Fault
I wasn’t able to enjoy a job until I realized that I needed to take 50% of the responsibility upon myself and give 50% of the responsibility to my employer. When I stumbled upon this realization, that’s when the joy started flooding in.
No problem is 100% your fault and no problem is 100% someone else’s fault. Blame can be spread all around.
I was giving 25% effort and expecting 100% return. You know what I got - 10% return. I blamed every company for not being more accommodating. However, if I wasn’t trying hard, how could I expect my managers to try to make me happy? They didn’t care because I didn’t care.
Not every company will be weak in all the same areas. I realized my problems extended from my outlook. It was my fault that I couldn’t enjoy my job.
None of the jobs were a perfect fit, but it’s about building your career foundation and using those skills to take yourself to the next level.
That next level may be starting your own business or rising through the ranks to become head engineer. It could mean just being happier with the work that you are presently doing. There are goals to reach at every job and it’s up to you make them happen.
Notice Your Patterns
Watch how you might return to the same emotional choices when confronted by a difficult situation. Maybe your job isn’t giving you all that is required, but are you giving enough in return? This is difficult to diagnose because many times we are too close to the situation.
Be honest and put blame on yourself as well as the company.
Try to find solutions that will fit your needs as well as your company’s needs.
The 50/50 Effect puts the responsibility for work happiness on both ends. If you give more and your company doesn’t return the energy then find a company that is willing to appreciate you.
It’s up to you to make your happiness come alive at your job. If it never blossoms then run like a crazy mad man/woman and find a job or career that’s going to help build your future you.
Have you ever run away from a job like it was the plague? Was it a good decision?
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Image courtesy of Jairo BD
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:18 am
Great points in this post, Karl…I’ve found myself in a bit of a slump over the past few weeks with little motivation to do much…but what you said is true. I was thinking about the fact that at least half of my work happiness comes from me. I am trying to focus on the things about my job/career that make me the happiest. I think that sometimes, we tend to place a little too much blame on our employers without first being introspective.
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:43 am
Hi Janelle, I know that I fell into the trap of blaming my employer and past employers when I was having a tough time at work. When things turned around, I realized a lot of it was because of my attitude. It’s important to be introspective and find out what’s going on inside ourselves before we put blame on someone that doesn’t deserve it.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:03 am
Hi Karl - The 50/50 effect is true not only for work, but in life too. I think it goes back to that old saying, “we get out of something, what we put into it”.
I’ve never had a job that I ran away from, but did have a temp job that I liked, but the full time people who worked there didn’t make me feel welcome. I finished out my assignment and was asked to stay on, but because I didn’t feel “comfortable”, decided it would be best if I moved on. I ended up getting a job I loved and was more in line with my job experience.
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..It’s All About Me - Part Two
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Great post!
Yes, I had a job that I ran like hell from - I was a file clerk relegated to a windowless room full of already overstuffed file cabinets in which I was supposed to file copies of purchase orders printed on the thinnest, easiest to tear paper I had ever seen!
Thankfully, it was a temp job and I stuck it out for the required week, but the whole experience made me ask a WHOLE LOT more questions before accepting future assignments.
Suzanne Bird-Harris | vAssistant Services’s last blog post..Project Powerful and Positive
October 23rd, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Hi Barbara, jobs are about making sure they line up with our needs. If they don’t, it’s time to find something that is a better fit.
Hi Suzanne, I’ve would have ran like hell too. At least you learned not to fall into the same trap for the next job.
October 24th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Hi Karl,
You write: “It’s up to you to make your happiness come alive at your job. If it never blossoms then run like a crazy mad man/woman and find a job or career that’s going to help build your future you.”
This is spot on. I have often run from jobs and looking back I know it is because I was never meant to work for someone else in the first place. It took me awhile to see that is what it was and until I did, I spread blame all over the place. What relief and freedom came when I realized I wasn’t just some weirdo who wasn’t going to fit in anywhere because of some unknown weirdness about me. (Well, maybe I have a little of that. ;))
When I’d run and tell myself it was the right thing to do and then settle in somewhere else and end up unhappy all over again it really wore me down. It wasn’t until I saw the real issue that I released a lot of the blame.
October 25th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Taking partial responsibility for your failures and your successes is important. You should always take the time to consider what you have contributed in both situations. My question comes from the idea of applying the 50/50 rule moving forward. Whether you are employed or creating something on your own, do you not agree the initially it is a good idea to be willing to give more that what you expect in return?
Susan/Unique Business Opportunity’s last blog post..Action Relieves Stress When Financial Times are Tough
October 28th, 2008 at 4:08 am
Hi Karl,
I guess sometimes it can be 60/40 or more. But I do think it is always looking at our own contribution to the situation (even if it is only just us staying there).
Evan’s last blog post..Authentic Business
October 29th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
It is definitely up to each and every one of us to (contribute to) making our own happiness. I put that in parenthesis because one might argue it’s entirely up to us. Not sure, but I definitely know we need to own at least a portion of it. Your 50% sounds about right!
November 3rd, 2008 at 6:32 am
Superb post. Looking back on some of my personal miserable work experiences, it’s clear that it was the fault of my employer for limiting me too much, but also my fault for not working harder to bust down those walls and propel myself. This 50/50 principle applies to our success too, we can’t truly take 100% of the credit for our successes. Life is all about knowing when to compromise and when to stand your ground. The sooner we all realize it the happier and better off we’ll be.
Adam Pieniazek’s last blog post..I Endorse Barack Obama (but I’m voting for Nader-Gonzalez)