Comments on: Wonderful Reader Comment

By: Sue

Sue — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 13:41:07 +0000

I can empathize with your reader’s comments about the pain of being excluded, having other people take credit for her ideas and feeling as though it seems as though she is being pushed out. This reader may want to try reaching out a little more to her colleagues on a social/interpersonal level at the office and try to become mindful about the impatience. She also sounds like a Highly Sensitive Person and HSPs do tend to be more introverted, more sensitive (not just emotionally but also to sensory input)and actually very astute at reading between the lines and picking up on the vibes, which will make her seem “different” to her colleagues. Individuals who are perceived as “different” from their colleagues often end up being targeted by bullies in the workplace–and some of the behaviours toward her that she described are classic workplace bullying tactics. Unfortunately, bullying runs rampant in many workplaces, but not only do most places not have anti-bullying policies, they condone the behaviours and often end up punishing the target! I would also suggest that she start documenting these incidences and start doing some reading about how to deal with these kinds of situations, (There are some very good books–some available online as e-books–out there which deal with the subject of work-place bullying.) and make sure she has a really strong support network outside of her workplace. If she’s able to do so, working with a counselor who is experienced in working with HSPs and teaching people to bullyproof themselves would probably really help her to learn some good strategies for making the most of her HSP traits, learning some conflict resolution skills and how to bully-proof herself at work. I wish her lots of luck and future success.

By: Karl Staib - The Work Happy Guy

Karl Staib - The Work Happy Guy — Thu, 07 May 2009 02:12:36 +0000

Hi Marelisa, I hope that this person looks for a job that is better suited for their personality.

Hi J.D., changing how we perceive a situation is the easiest way to bring emotional relief to our lives.

Hi Marc, we all have to try to improve ourselves and that means socially too. Most of us aren’t born outgoing so we have to work at it. A little personal development goes a long way to encourage ourselves to be happy.

By: Marc and Angel Hack Life

Marc and Angel Hack Life — Wed, 06 May 2009 19:21:36 +0000

Great insight. I completely agree with your response Karl.

It sounds to me like she may need to open up just a bit more. In a team based environment, you have to establish relationships with your coworkers.

If that’s not what you want, then you need to find a job where the team work environment is not required.

By: J.D. Meier

J.D. Meier — Wed, 06 May 2009 16:04:42 +0000

Changing yourself first is one of the most effective ways to improve any situation.

I think it’s crucial t to be a pleasure to work with in today’s socially-driven world and there’s skills for that. I’ll have a guest post from one of the masters on the subject soon.

By: Marelisa

Marelisa — Wed, 06 May 2009 01:36:47 +0000

Hi Karl: I think that a lot of the time we withdraw when we’re in a situation in which we don’t feel happy or fulfilled. It’s probably worse for people who are naturally shy. I think your reader definitely needs to start looking for a different environment in which he/she can flourish. I completely agree that the first step is to take 100% responsibility for your own happiness.