Depending on who is giving her a bad time (a peer versus a supervisor), if she has some good strategies to employ, she may be able to turn the situation around. I sincerely wish the best of outcomes for her.

I am the author of this article and I’d really like to thank all of you readers who found the time to write such thoughtful comments and share their experiences. I found it rather interesting that even in a very small sample of 12 individuals (including Karl and myself)1/3 of us have experienced bullying at work at some point during our working lives. That’s pretty close to the figures reported in a recent study (37%)on the extent of workplace bullying. You can find more on the results of that study at this url: http://www.workplacebullying.org/research/WBI-Zogby2007Survey.html

I’d like to thank Karl for encouraging me to share my experiences–and for being so open about his own experiences with being bullied at work.

I just wanted to let you all know that while going through the process (and recuperating from the stress related illnesses triggered by the incidents) I certainly had my dark days and low moments, so it did take some time and effort to get to the point where I can discuss the process from a fairly dispassionate perspective.

Anyway here are my responses to each of you:

@Stephen–Glad you found the information enlightening. I’m not really surprised that you’ve not come across the topic much–it isn’t exactly a hot, glamorous topic. (I do seem to recall reading on another site that not so long ago the mainstream snooze, er news,picked up on the proportion of “female to female” bullying in the workplace and immediately put a trashy–and inaccurate–”cat fight” spin on the whole story).

@Positively Present–I suspect the same kids who were bullies or mean girls in elementary and secondary school probably went on to become work place bullies. Work place bullying takes a somewhat different form than school yard bullying in that it usually stops short of physical violence, but the dynamic and the harm caused is just as traumatic–for the witnesses as well as the Target.

@BunnygotBlog–Glad to hear you found the article interesting. Karl has some great articles and insights on his site, so I hope you do revisit his blog frequently.

@Wow–Gosh, you talk about peace and pacifism as if they were bad things! I guess it’s a good thing Gandhi wasn’t dissuaded by such opinions when he set out to gain India’s freedom and independence more than 60 years ago, eh? By the way, all the blustery tough talk and wildly erroneous conclusions to which you gleefully jumped in your response merely highlighted a whole lot of underlying defensiveness. As inappropriate as most of your comments were, it seems you are more in need of compassion than contempt. Good luck and much inner peace to you.

@DudleyDoesRight–Thanks for the support. Don’t worry–it didn’t look to me like anyone else was catapulted back to the stone age.

@Lance–Thanks for your feedback. I really hope that this piece will help others who find themselves in the same situation. It’s not a subject that many Targets are willing to talk about. There is a certain amount of stigma that Targets wrongly attach to themselves, when in fact it’s the bullies who ought to be ashamed of shamed for their behavior. Maybe all workplace bullies ought to have a big red “B” painted on their foreheads, so it makes it very difficult for them to get employment elsewhere.

@Tom–Thanks for your kind words. As indicated at the beginning of my responses, I had days early in the process where I decidedly did NOT have it together, but I got through them. I’m human, so I indulged in the occasional bitchy thoughts about my boss, and I do confess to taking great delight and amusement in writing a humorous poem with a wickedly sharp edge about my boss’s less endearing behaviors. It was great therapy, a safe release for the anger I was feeling at the time, and a good workout for the creativity. Ah,the fine art of the eloquent vent.

@Stacey–I’m sorry to hear that you, too, had to deal with a bully, but I’m glad you got out of that situation. It sounds as though a whole group of you left. Were you all targeted by the same bully and if so were you able to file a complaint as a group? That would certainly have had a lot more clout than one individual’s complaint. Knowing when to bail in the interests of protecting one’s well-being is a smart move! I hope you received lots of support and understanding while you were dealing with the bully; having good support makes a huge difference.

@Karen–Thanks for your support. Yes I hope that more people can work together to push for zero tolerance on bullying in our society; whether in families, at schools or at work. I think some of the bully-busting has to be in the form of political lobbying and some has to be focused on educating various sectors in our societies (sports and entertainment come to mind)that seem to celebrate bullies and ridicule Targets. From what I understand, European countries are way ahead of Canada and the U.S. in terms of bringing in anti-bullying legislation for the work place. Two provinces in Canada (Saskatchewan and Quebec) have workplace anti-bullying legislation, and the Canadian federal government has also introduced anti-bullying legislation into all of its departments, although apparently senior managers are being a bit slow about publicizing it to workers. There is a place on the bullybusters website for people who want to get involved with lobbying to get anti-bullying legislation passed in their states or provinces.

@Marelisa–I’m sorry to hear that your workplace was also ruined by an incompetent boss, but I’m really glad to hear you’ve moved on–hopefully to much happier and more fulfilling experiences. You may not have received much or anything in the way of compensation, but what you did get was probably greatly increased peace of mind, better health, more energy, and a huge sense of relief when it was all over and done with.

This is a common problem of late, and a real shame. Thanks for bringing it to life and making it real. Because it is, for men and women.