Comments on: Reader Dilemma – Would You Lie?

By: sherpa

sherpa — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 06:28:19 +0000

I was asked to send an email with some information to a very important person. My boss was at home and told me to send an email explaining that she was not back from her trip,when in fact she was..I did send the important person the information he needed without the lie that my boss was not back yet. My boss and my boss’s boss spent a few hours trying to figure out together how they were going to respond to my email that I was not comfortable writing something that was not true from my email with my signature. I was ganged up on by my boss and her boss who saw nothing wrong and felt that I should have written the email exactly as I was told..I was told I did not have the right to question and I should do as I am told. I questioned why she did not respond herself since she prides herself on being prompt and copy me to send the needed information. I have since contacted HR. You see I couldn’t win because had one of the other people on this trip happened to talk to this very important person, he would have known that I had lied in my email- guess who takes the fall. Bottom line is I am screwed for refusing to lie. If honesty pays why do all the liars make more money than me?

By: Liz

Liz — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 22:32:23 +0000

I’d like to see how others would weigh in on a boss who requires you tell clients he is in a meeting whenever he is busy – and most of the time he is not in meetings, but busy with other things. He says “unavailable” is rude. I say a lie is a lie.

By: Carol Logan Newbill

Carol Logan Newbill — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 16:07:30 +0000

Okay, here’s how I would handle it.

(To John and Liss): “Mr. Bossman is correct, I personally never received your order. Actually, I think your account may be assigned to a different department. May I have the details so I can follow up for you? What did you order, and when, and what specifically is the problem that we can solve for you?”

This saves the boss’s face in front of the customers. This is truthful — you did not receive the order and you didn’t drop the ball. This also acknowledges that your customer has a problem and that you are willing to go the extra mile to fix it.

Win-win-win.

By: Stacey Shipman

Stacey Shipman — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 20:52:30 +0000

I guess my first reaction is: maybe the boss thinks employee handles this account but doesn’t really? I might suggest that there had been an error and I don’t handle the account.

I’ve never been a good lier. My expressions are an open book, and on occasions when I have lied, it always comes back to bite me. For that, I would probably suggest that a mistake had happened.

I guess it would also depend on the relationship I had with my boss…

In reality, the answer would probably only come to me when actually presented with this situation. Thank goodness I’m the boss now!

By: Karl Staib - The Work Happy Guy

Karl Staib - The Work Happy Guy — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:34:01 +0000

Hi Marelisa, if this boss is willing to put his/her employee in this position then I could see how s/he might stab the employee in the back later on. Better to stay on the safe side.

Hi Patty, it doesn’t hurt to ask a few questions. If you can save your job, make sure your boss doesn’t look bad and still not lie then it’s a smart way of dealing with this situation.

Hi Anthony, there definitely is a Pandora’s box here. It’s probably better to not open it up. Like many people have already said, maybe find a new job or try to move to a new department.

By: Anthony

Anthony — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 15:13:54 +0000

I think whether or not you (or, in this situation, I) lie becomes secondary to the trust issues that come as a result. Has the boss been lying about bigger things? What’s the next favor I have to do for him or her? Are we lying to cover our shortcomings or is this just to deal with a problematic client? I think there’s a definite Pandora’s box here.

By: Patty - Why Not Start Now?

Patty - Why Not Start Now? — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 01:36:51 +0000

Wow, this is a tough one. I don’t think there’s any good answer, and I agree that it seems like lose/lose all around. But because the boss in this scenario does pose a question (”Can you confirm this?”), I would want to try to take advantage of the question to at least open a dialogue, perhaps responding, “What other information can you give me about this?” or “I’d like to help but I need more information.” That might diffuse the tension, and buy more time for both the boss and me. Who knows if I’d be brave enough to do that, though, because this scenario is ripe with heart-pounding anxiety, setting off all those inner fear alarms. And that’s exactly why I don’t have a boss!

By: Marelisa

Marelisa — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:39:01 +0000

The fact that this boss expects his employee to cover for him by lying speaks volumes about their low ethical standards. This boss is probably very capable of stabbing the employee in the back even though the employee covered for him. It’s a lose-lose proposition; I wouldn’t lie.

By: Karl Staib - The Work Happy Guy

Karl Staib - The Work Happy Guy — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:35:36 +0000

Before I thank everyone who commented so far I wanted to throw my own 3 cents in. I’ve thought long and hard about this. I’m in Tess’s corner. I would probably lie to please my boss, but I would definitely have a talk with my boss after the people have left. No one deserves to be put in that spot. Then I would promptly look for a new job, non stop, until I found one. It’s not so much that a “lie” bothers me, but what it can lead to. It’s easier to be honest because there is no cover up. When one lie happens there are more to follow.

Hi Solomon, very true. We don’t know the whole story.

Hi Claudia, great solution. Side step the lie so you don’t have to. Then figure out a plan that will let you keep your job.

Hi Techy Mom, that sucks. No boss should put you in that position.

Hi Megan, lies always lead to less trust. Can you ever trust him or her again?

Hi Audra, if you can’t be the real you at work then your asking for pain. It’s better to stick to your beliefs.

Hi Evita, relationships that rely on helping each other lie is doomed to failure.

Hi Lance, When in doubt go with the truth.

Hi Tess, very well thought out.

Hi Nathan, good point. One lie builds on the next and before you know it everything comes crashing down.

By: Nadia - Happy Lotus

Nadia - Happy Lotus — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:27:52 +0000

Hi Karl,

Just as many others have said, this would be a really tough position to be in. Personally, I would not lie because you have no idea of the repercussions and furthermore, it just feels horrible. Like Tess said, I would start looking for another job immediately because behavior like that is bound to occur again.