5 STEPS to Success
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
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Sid Hurlbert is a renowned public speaker, who teaches the art of “What to say & How to say it” using his STEPS method. When I first heard of Sid I had no idea who he was, but after reading his website, talking to him in person, and attending his two hour seminar, I’m confident that this man is on board with the Work Happy Now cause.
One of his seminars is called “Fun at work…WORKS!” He has been teaching what we’ve been talking about. I have to admit he’s done it for a lot longer than I have.
Sid uses a method called STEPS. It’s simple and easy to use – just the way business communication should be taught.
S – Smile
T – Tone of Voice
E – Expression/Facial
P – Posture
S – Start putting into people what you want back
1. Smile
I know how much more I enjoy working with someone who smiles and laughs easily. If a co-worker is a big grump then it can wreck a whole day.
2. Tone of Voice
I’ve been practicing with my tone of voice lately.
When someone calls my phone at work, I try to give an enthusiastic “hello” to make sure they know that I want an enjoyable and fun conversation.
3. Expression/Facial
Working with a deadpan person is like staring at a white wall all day. There is just a level of emotion that brings excitement to the day when someone gives me a wink, frown, smile, or wide open eyes.
We should all strive to show our emotions clearly so people know how we are feeling.
4. Posture
Sitting in an office chair all day long can be difficult. I hunch over my keyboard and after the day is done my back aches.
I’ve been taking more care to exercise at work, sit up straight, and stretch every so often. These little habits have helped me feel more confident and relaxed throughout my day.
5. Start putting into people what you want back
The most important rule of them all.
When we put into people what we want back, we increase our Karma exponentially. I believe in the 60/40 rule. When we give 60% of our effort and expect 40% in return, we will hardly ever be disappointed.
- You will increase your happiness by giving more.
- You will increase the happiness of other people in your life.
- You will also increase their willingness to give back to you. (***** This is the five star concept. Try this and watch your relationships blossom.)
I’ve been practicing Sid’s techniques when I’m listening to others. I let them do more of the talking and they love the attention. I treat them with love and respect and it encourages them to do the same for me.
Sid knows he is doing something special because he’s been teaching his method to all kinds of organizations for over 30 years. If you are interested in bringing him to your organization, go to his site at callsid.com and book him. (This is not an affiliate link.) He is just so good that I wanted to spread the word.
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Kim and Jason share so many cool concepts to fight adultitis on their blog. One of my more recent favorites was Whatever You Do, Don’t Wish for This. Great advice about what not to do when your job isn’t a good fit for you.
If you enjoyed this post then give this one a try:
Nice write up and I like the focus on a specific technique. STEPS looks simple and effective — a great combo.
I like very much tips that are organized in acronyms. They’re much easier to remember and put together as a whole.
Good tips bye the way. The non-verbal are the main way we communicate emotions and attitudes so in this sens, they’re way more important than the actual words.
Eduard
Ahhh, the dreaded back ache. I’m struggling that at home because my chair at work is awesome, but I haven’t invested in a nice chair in my home office.
I think #5 can be applied in a lot of cases. Good stuff.
This is so true. Personally my tone is one thing I always need to watch. I’m normally loud and and can be impatient. One thing that has helped me is knowing my intention before I open my mouth. Is it to be helpful, complimentary, teach etc. When I know my intention my tone will follow. This works good with spouses as well!
Great tips here! I work at home and alone – lovely! – but I need these tips just for my own energy and they help when relating to others, whether on line or on the phone. You know how you can “hear” a smile? It’s a good thing!
Karl, thanks so much for the link!
Also, jumping on your idea about giving, here’s a scenario I bet a lot of people can relate to: you’re at some sort of party or networking event and you meet someone you don’t know. You ask the standard, “So what do you do?” Their response may as well be Martian, because you have NO CLUE what they’re talking about. You’ve never heard of that job before. EVER. Now instead of asking more about it, many people nod their head in agreement, as if they know exactly what the other person is talking about. (Then try to exit the conversation as quickly as possible before the jig is up!)
This sort of thing is common because no one wants to be perceived as an idiot. However, I have found that simply saying something like, “You know what? I’ve never heard of that before, but it sounds interesting. Tell me more about it? What does your typical day look like?”
Now if you’re sincere, that person won’t think you’re an idiot, but will actually feel empowered. The fact that you’ve shown true interest will make them think you’re pretty cool. Like you said, people love the attention.
I guess this is a long-winded example of “giving” to someone in a way that isn’t often considered. Giving them a chance to talk about themselves is a great gift.
Bad posture in the corporate world wreaked havoc on my body once I started to “fix” it. It’s fine now, but it really does make a difference! When I give presentations on public speaking or confidence posture is often the first thing I talk about.
Thanks for the intro to Sid…I will check him out!
Hi J.D., Simple is the best way to help people learn.
Hi Eduard, Non-verbal cues are so important. The more aware we are of these signals the better we can communicate.
Hi Nathan, Time to treat yourself to a good chair at home too.
Hi Tess, Knowing your intention is very important.
Hi suzen, Good point. Our tone of voice comes from your facial expression and body posture.
Hi Jason, Giving someone a chance to talk about themselves is a much underused social tool.
Hi Stacey, It’s good you recognize this and adjusted.
Hi Karl,
Just looking at Sid’s picture…he’s got the “S” down!! And smiling is such an easy way to “break the ice”…whatever that ice may be (a project, problem, new coworker, etc, etc). Okay, I’m off to check out his site!! Thanks for the intro!
Hi Karl
What a super important topic for work happiness. Body language is SO important in any situation, but especially at work.
How we smile, or if we smile, the expressions we use, our posture, all that adds so much to the quality of any interaction.
This is great Karl – thanks!
Karl — I enjoyed this post. Personally, I think the STEP approach is good at any time. I agreed with the others that’s it’s easy to remember.
I also agree totally about smiling. It is amazing how when you smile and are friendly, how much more responsive people are.
Thanks for sharing Sid’s great tips with us. Much appreciate:~)
Hi Karl,
I love it! Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us.
Due to being in law school, we learned that when talking with a client, we have to put our own stuff on the side and just listen to the person. I have carried that over in all my interactions and it sure has made a difference.
Whenever someone talks to me, I am just present and listen to whatever they have to say without judgment. Some days this can be hard but with time, it has become a whole lot easier.
People give themselves away when they talk and when we truly listen, we have a better idea of who they are and we come to see that pretty much everyone struggles with the same things on some level.
Hope all is awesome!