9 Ways to Overcome Work Annoyances
Sunday, May 16th, 2010
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* I was afraid to publish this post because it may seem too simple for some of my advanced readers, but even my advanced work happiness people had to start somewhere. And yes, even advanced people need refreshers. So here it is.
Work has hundreds of little annoyances that can kill your happiness if you don’t create a system to deal with your problems.
Co-workers, bosses, and tedious tasks can throw us off our emotional center. We must find creative ways to deal with these issues.
1. Understand the root problem.
You.
You are the cause of your pain. It hurts to actually write that because I know some people will tune the rest of this article out, but it must be said.
You are the one who interprets people’s actions. You are the one who makes the experience positive or negative.
2. Listen to your favorite song.
Sometimes we just need to get away. Pull out your iPod and blast your favorite song. I have a few songs that help me gain perspective, but right now it’s Everybody’s Gotta Live by Love.
I can’t stay mad when I’m listening to this great tune.
3. Write 5 solutions to your most difficult problem.
Every problem has a solution. Sometimes we just need to take time to step back and find the solution that will meet our needs.
Make a list of 5 solutions. Pick the best one and try to apply it. If it doesn’t work then pick the next best one until you ease your pain.
4. Ask advice from a friend.
My friends are my rocks. I can lean on them and they never run away. They are always there to listen to my latest rant.
I’ve learned not to just complain though. You must ask for their opinion and be willing to listen. Come right out and ask them for a solution. You’ll love the creative responses.
5. Create a ritual.
Annoyances are never going away. It’s what being human is all about.
Create a ritual to help channel your feelings. I love doing a little drawing of the situation. The act of creating a drawing out of my annoyance helps me deal with my feelings.
There is something calming in exaggerating a situation through a cartoon.
6. Know it won’t last.
Nothing lasts forever. Why does it seem like a difficult situation will make us feel like crap forever? Because we get sucked into the intense feelings that won’t seem to let go.
When this happens, look back on a difficult situation and notice how it feels afterwards. Most of my past difficulties were my greatest learning experiences. Like dealing with a roommate who smeared dog shit on my bed because he was high on acid. That haunted me for weeks, but now I know not to take people’s freak-outs personally.
7. Celebrate the pain.
An annoyance isn’t an annoyance if you can turn it into a celebration. I recently dealt with a failed attempt to speak at a conference. I was upset because I thought I had a shot, but they decided to hire someone else.
I tried to turn it into an event. I bought a small cake, some candles and created a lame song during lunch. I lit three candles and sang my song. The absurd nature of the situation forced me to laugh at myself and move on. I decided to call a few other organizations that would want my enlightening presentation.
8. Reframe your perspective.
It’s up to you to reframe a situation to help you become smart, stronger and happier. You can do this by creating emotional space. List as many perspectives as you can in order to help you gain a grip on your emotions. If your boss is being a jerk, then think about personal issues he might be dealing with, the overbearing father who influenced his personality, or possible bosses who might have taught him his terrible people skills.
Keep listing until you create that emotional separation that allows you to see all the possible sides to a person or task.
9. Use your annoyances as a growth opportunity.
You can either use annoyances to make you happier or you can let them tear you down. Your choice.
What do you do to deal with your annoyances at work?
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If you enjoyed this post then you will probably like this one too:
> 9 Bold Tips to Work Place Happiness
Image courtesy of Shawn Econo
What a great list!
Today I suffered the worst case of ‘Mondayitis’. It’s not unusual, Monday’s are always tough for me and I know come Tuesday I will have a renewed passion and energy to lead my team. But, today I took action to ensure next Monday will be different. I started a Monday inspiration challenge within my team. Each Monday someone will take on the challenge of inspiring the others in the team to feel great! I have the first challenge to inspire my team next Monday. I think I might play ‘Everybody’s Gotta Live’ while sharing a coffee with my team. It’s a great song and lifted my spirit as it played in the background while I wrote this comment.
Thank you.
Hi Nica, Yes! I’m glad you took action and your using a great song to help other people too. How did it go? Did they enjoy the coffee/music combo?
I love the bluntness in number 1! Yes I am! I’m able to talk it out in my mind, release the tension with exercise, and my partner has good shoulders.
Cheers, Simon.
Hi Simon, Talking it out is so key. If we can’t be our favorite therapist then we spend too much money relying on other people to hopefully make us happy.
Reframing is powerful. We can always change our why or how, and that actually does make a difference in any situation.
Hi J.D., Reframing is one of the core concepts of enjoying life. If we can’t learn to reframe tough situations we will be stuck in cyclical hell.
Hi Karl
These are FANTASTIC reminders and I don’t think they are too simple at all. I think we all need to be reminded of these on a regular basis, as I am sure depending on certain situations in the workplace, it can be easy to forget these and get caught up in the drama.
They are all great, but #1 says it all. If we just understand and accept this one point, everything else takes on a new light. Great job!
Hi Evita, Getting caught in the drama can be fun for a little while, but eventually leads to a lot of pain. We just need to be smart with how we do it. It’s all about self awareness. The more aware we are the better decisions we make.
Hi Karl,
#1 DOES SAY IT ALL! The energy that it takes to focus on all of the things that emotionally trigger us is exhausting. The more we look outside of ourselves as the “cause,” the more illusive the search becomes. Work and life “annoyances” are a given. We magnify them mentally and physiologically. So staying “present” to them, meaning that we observe them almost in witnessing fashion, gives us a blueprint of the ways you which we allow ourselves to be distracted from aligning ourselves with what is positive and life affirming.
Thx for the Monday am reminder!
Hi Louise, Our brains work well when we create the right thoughts. This isn’t easy. I use a lot of meditation techniques, which is exactly what you are talking about. By stepping away from the emotional part we create space. It’s this space that helps us process and figure out a way to align ourselves with a more positive outlook.
Karl,
Simple doesn’t mean easy and even when we no better we forget or we’re in denial and we all need reminders.
No. 1 says it all…as I was reading these we can do these for all areas of life not just work.
I really love the write five solutions one and I’m applying it to a few of my issues today;)
Also can you send me your mailing address cuz I want to send you something! It’s a surprise!
Tess xo
Hi Tess, I’m glad you liked the 5 solutions method. It has helped me out a lot. You don’t need to send me anything. Your friendship is all I need.
Karl,
Awe-some reminders!
When negative creeps up on me, I quickly address it and let it go. Specifically at work, I think of what having this job *enables* me to do, not what it might distract me from doing. My paycheck allows me the freedom to travel, to set up a new career that is my life direction, my works hours allow me to have lots of quality time with my children….listing all of the positives quickly fills my heart with gratitude. And then the annoyance is “gone”
Hi Joy, Having a system in place when negativity creeps in is a great idea. I love how you flood your brain with positives. There is less room for the negativity to grow.
Karl,
This reminds me of a quote I love very much:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~ Viktor E. Frankl
We always have a choice in how we’ll respond to life’s moments. Especially when it comes to our attitude – that is ALWAYS a choice.
And I’m all for listening to that favorite song (like “I’ve Got A Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas).
Hi Lance, I love that quote from Frankl. When we give ourselves the power we can dictate how happy we want to be.
All true! Especially number 4. Running my own business means I don’t have the day-today contact with an office full of work colleagues, so my friends do get all the work chatter too! I think being an entrepreneur, your life gets a lot less compartmentalized anyway.
I know there’s a lot of problems with office politics and the like within office environments, but honestly, now and then I do think I’m missing out on a chunk of popular culture by not having an over-enthusiastic stationery cupboard manager in my life; or a particularly zealous health and safety warden confiscating my scissors!
Hi Tammy, It’s funny how quirky co-workers can be fun when we don’t get to deal with them every day. You should try Skyping with a group of people every single day to create that camaraderie that comes from being a solo-entrepreneur.
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