Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Mike Bundrant of iNLP.

“Do it, Mike! Just do it! Stop your whining and get off your butt!”

This is how I used to motivate myself. I carried around an inner high school football coach to bark at me whenever he thought I was slacking. The problem was, I constantly stressed myself out. Worse, half the time I “rebelled” against this inner dictator and became passive aggressive toward my own goals. How’s that for nutty?

Patterns

Actually, this is a common pattern. A “dictator” style of motivation has an undermining effect in the long run. Most people don’t like to be ordered around. In the workplace it leads to low morale and a low productivity, high-turnover workforce. Dictator-style parents tend to divide families and create harsh rivalries in the home. Ordering yourself around leads to the number one killer of personal development goals: self-sabotage.

Think about it. To your mind and body, a harsh, loud voice ordering you around is jarring, regardless of the source. You respond with stress and resistance whether from an outsider imposing his will or you imposing your will upon yourself. In the end, your brain experiences the commands in a similar fashion. Your mind places a lot less emphasis on the origin of an experience than you may think. All of us can make our mouths water just by imagining a delectable dessert. We’ve all reacted with fear to inner thoughts that had no basis in external reality. Ordering yourself around is being ordered around, period. Chances are, you don’t like it and will shut down, refusing to take any action at all.

The stress and resistance of dictatorial self-motivation is an expressway to self-sabotage. “I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do!” is the common response to inappropriate commands, even when those commands are self-generated. It’s a perfect set up.

A New Way

Zen Motivation changes all this. The need to bark orders and force yourself to do things doesn’t even arise in a Zen motivation state. Motivating yourself to do things, even unpleasant things, is a normal part of living and comes quite naturally when in a more Zen-like state, connected to the present moment. Do this exercise and see what I mean.

1. Consider one thing that you need to motivate yourself to do, such as exercise, pull weeds, meet with a difficult colleague, and so forth. If you can, write down the name of the task in the middle of a piece of paper (if you have a pen and paper).

2. Become aware how you would typically motivate yourself to do this and write down (if you can) the thoughts and feelings that come next. For example, “Get it done!” or “Let’s move!” or “I just have to get this done!” or “Come on, Mike!” or (feelings, too) “Tension in chest and shoulders.” Write freely for a minute or so and don’t censor yourself.

3. Just clear your mind for a few moments. Shake it off.

4. Forget everything and enter a more present, grounded state by tuning into a mundane sound, such as the sound of distant traffic, the hum of your computer (or the white noise of a fan, refrigerator, running water, etc…). Don’t do anything else or try to relax – just tune into the sound. Keep listening for a minute or more, until you feel settled.

5. When you feel more settled, reconsider the task you need to get done. Write it down on a clean sheet of paper and notice the thoughts and feelings that come to your mind and body. Do you notice the difference? In this more calm state, what words can you choose to gently motivate yourself? How much easier is it to avoid ordering yourself around while you are feeling more settled and connected to the outside world?

For managers, the key to motivating employees rests with the quality of the relationship – how well do they treat their employees? Likewise, the key to motivating yourself is correlated with how well you treat yourself. Zen motivation allows you to motivate yourself from a more grounded, connected state. When you do, your tendency to order yourself around will vanish and your productivity will increase. Best of all, you’ll be respecting yourself more.

Mike Bundrant is an NLP trainer with the iNLP Center. Visit iNLP for a free personal development mini course and learn more about the Zen Motivation Twitter Party.

Image courtesy of phoeric.

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

Whenever I’m asked to interview someone I only do it if I have a burning desire to ask that person a certain question. Peter Buffett fell into this category, so when his publicist contacted me about a possible interview I jumped on it.

I wanted to ask Peter if people were jealous that his family was rich. Being the son of Warren Buffett one of the most famous people on the planet can draw a lot of attention, positive and negative, so I was curious about his experiences.

I was amazed by Peter’s grounded nature and willingness to think before he speaks. I should have known he would be a great interview.

I recorded the interview for all of you to listen to:

Click here to listen to the Peter Buffett interview

(Right click to download the audio to your computer for later use.)

Some of the highlights in the Peter Buffett interview is:

• Happiness comes not from where you are, but your take on life.
• Money doesn’t fill those empty holes.
• Pay attention or pay with tension.
• No matter how good we think someone else has it they struggle too.
• Everyone has something to teach you. As long as you are willing to listen you will walk away from any interaction a better person.

The audio is a lot better than my highlights, so check it out when you have a chance. There are some really good gems in there to help your career and life.

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

Editor’s note: this is a guest post from Kaley Klemp the Co-Author of The Drama-Free Office

It’s gossip, turf wars, water cooler talk, and the chronic complainer no one can stand. When you talk with people about the organizations they work for, it’s common to hear about the “Drama” plaguing their companies: the energy-draining behaviors that keep people from focusing on the creative projects and basic business practices that make the company successful.

If we could just get through the drama, the business decisions and real work isn’t that hard…

Blame Game

It’s easy to blame drama on others.  After all, you’re the good guy in these dynamics; why don’t they get it?  One of the most difficult challenges for aspiring leaders is to “own their stuff”—to acknowledge that they are equally responsible for creating any situation where drama exists.

I learned this lesson working on a writing project with another author – my dad. He had some great ideas that I was happy to work with. But then he became controlling. It was easy for me to see how things were falling apart – and it was his fault! He was the one who wasn’t listening. He was the one who was setting impossible deadlines. I was ready to take all I knew about eliminating drama and apply it to him.

Four Energy-draining Personalities

Most drama is caused by four primary energy-draining personalities that sabotage workplace collaboration and synergy:

• Complainer
• Controller
• Cynic
• Caretaker.

The Complainer is the one who is never at fault – not enough time, resources or support. The Controller has to be in charge – perhaps micromanaging, sometimes being the bully. The Cynic must be right; often pointing out how others’ ideas will never work and making fun of the person who brought it up. The Caretaker wants to be liked so much that they say yes to everything, which becomes a problem when they bite off more than they can chew and they miss deadlines.

Like me, most people want to start with the question: how do I help others change? But, we have found that before you can guide others, you have to take inventory of your interaction strengths and the ways you sabotage relationships. The strength inventory is usually easy. It’s fun to appreciate your talent and amazing ability to do what you do. The sabotage inventory is more difficult. It requires the vulnerability and courage to seek others’ candid observations and advice about your behavior.

Watch Yourself

Taking my own advice, I asked myself what my part was in creating the drama. I wondered which Drama personalities I was using that were sabotaging us. I noticed how I had fallen into Complainer. I didn’t have enough time to do everything he asked and his requests were too hard. I realized that I would have micromanaged someone acting the way I was. Then I saw my Cynic. The enthusiasm I had at the beginning of the project had become critical… I saw everything wrong with what we were doing, but didn’t offer any suggestions to change. Once I saw myself in these drama roles, I could shift into taking responsibility – renegotiating our deadlines and making suggestions for how we could change the writing to be better.

By identifying and correcting the four drama roles (Complainer, Controller, Cynic, Caretaker), you are well on your way to eliminating drama. If you want even more clarity, invite your work colleagues, family members, and friends to give you timely, direct feedback.

Quick Drama Reducing Tips

Here is a quick way to start looking at how these drama roles show up for you.  Ask friends and coworkers:

• Where do you see me complaining? Not taking responsibility for my situation?
• Where do you see me controlling? Taking over and micromanaging?
• Where do you see be being cynical? Discounting others or being sarcastic?
• Where do you seem me care-taking? Rescuing others instead of letting them do things on their own?

You can also take a free drama assessment for yourself. Let me know what you find out about yourself. And what can you do to change?

Kaley Klemp and Jim Warner are the authors of The Drama-Free Office: A Guide to Healthy Collaboration with Your Team, Coworkers, and Boss.

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

You may notice that it’s easier to enjoy a certain situation when in a good mood. You aren’t affected by problems as easily. This occurs because your focus is on something that keeps you happy.

Standing in line behind two young women, probably in their early twenties, at the grocery store and they were complaining about their boyfriends. Their groceries were on the conveyer belt waiting to be wrung up. They had bananas, a mango, strawberries, two types of cheeses and crackers. It looked like they were going to eat an amazing snack. They weren’t excited about this wonderful meal they were soon to make, but only worried about their awful boyfriends.

I was so focused on their conversation that I forgot about myself. I was judging them. I felt like they were whining too much. I was doing the same thing they were. I was judging them for only looking for the negative. I had glorious food about to be purchased too. This made me think about my focus at work. Some days my focus is about knocking the work out, so I can get home. This defeats the purpose of work. We aren’t meant to be robots. We were created to feel and be aware of our experiences.

Losing Focus

Last Sunday… I was so caught up in finishing my drawing of a flower with a human face on it talking to a dog about proper mouth hygiene that I missed the point of the exercise – fun, stress relief, and relaxation. Drawing is an enjoyable hobby, but sometimes I lose focus. I need to remind myself why I’m doing it.

As I was finishing my drawing I slowed down and let the moment sink in, the pure joy of creating a white sheet into a story. That’s when I had a mini revelation. I needed to relax my drive and use my focus to experience the moment and the feeling of being productive.

Relationships, Tasks and Emotions

When we’re mad at a co-worker or family member it’s all we can feel. We are so caught up in the hurricane of emotions that we forget that there are other emotions to be felt. By acknowledging the main emotion that is dominating at the moment we can learn to allow it to only suck so much of our energy. Moving the focus toward other parts of the experience we can process through the emotions faster.

Working on tasks is similar to relationships. A certain task may frustrate us, but it’s because we get too caught up in accomplishing instead of experiencing.

When we push ourselves to finish our task we are losing sight of the larger picture. We make more mistakes because we just want to be done with it. The people who allow themselves to experience the fun in the moment as well as knocking the job out will have an easier time being productive. They understand that they choose how to process the task.

Your Perspective

Most of us have seen two opposite types of people working side by side in a retail store. One is smiling and willing to go the extra mile while the other one wonders why she is tortured by life. They are really not that different, but one learned how to divide her time between finding the joy in the work, while the other one sees and endless sea of people who need, need, need.

Your career happiness will depend on your focus. You can choose to find ways to make the experience enhance your career or you can keep complaining that whatever you try only blows up in your face. Your career is all yours, keep your focus on enjoying the moment for what is, nothing more and nothing less, as well as the joy of being productive. You’ll take your work happiness to a level that will astound you and your co-workers.

Your Turn

When working on an email or finishing a report where is your focus? (i.e. finishing the email or getting to the next project)

How do you make time to enjoy the moment?

* Karl Staib is addicted to throwing Twitter Parties. If you want to learn how Twitter Parties can help your business grow click here. You can also follow Karl on Twitter and learn how to build your business by standing on other people’s shoulders.

* I loved this post, A Dick Tracy lunchbox gave me some decent advice, from Havi Brooks of the Fluent Self. The bonus part is it fits nicely with the theme of my post.

If you found this post insightful, you will probably like these too:

• Coworker Trust – Sometimes It’s Better to Give AND Receive
• What Elephants Have in Common with Gratitude

Image courtesy of Blue Square Thing

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

Just be yourself and they will love you. How many moms have said that to their little boys and girls?

What they should really say is just be yourself and screw everyone else because people will find ways to hate you no matter what you do. This is true in business and life.

Happiness

You want to be happy. That means you can’t let other people dictate your decision making process.

I’m trying to be more me, but I find it difficult.

I still remember the first day of school during my 7^th grade year and a popular student telling me to sit down and stop being so annoying. The pain goes deep. I don’t want to be annoying. I want people to like me.

Conundrum

That’s where the conundrum begins. We can’t be ourselves without annoying people along the way.

It really is a catch 22.

If I’m myself then of course I’m going to annoy some people. Even super cool people are hated because they are just too cool. Steve Jobs almost has as many haters as people who love him.

So I’ve decided that it’s either a win-win or a lose-lose. It’s up to you to decide how to look at it.

As a business owner I don’t want to annoy anyone I want them all to like me. This is impossible. I know this, but still have trouble understanding it.

I know not every coaching client won’t click with my coaching style, but that’s my point. I can’t try to be someone I’m not otherwise they aren’t able to use my superpowers. It becomes a waste of both of our times.

Make a Choice and Run with It

The best option is to make choices that aligns with your values and forget everyone else’s reaction. The haters are going to hate. The lovers are going to love. You can’t stop this.

What you can do is not be afraid of annoying anyone.

It’s better to put yourself out there in a way that makes you happy. So if you like to wear a superpower cape to meetings because it helps you get in the consulting zone then go for it.

Your Turn

What do you think?

Are we raised to conform and not annoy?

Can we break out of these social struggles and live our core values?

* Follow me on Twitter. Join over 3,700 people who get happiness tips, productivity tips, and thought provoking quotes each day.

* Plugin ID wrote a solid post about leveling your life up. Click here to check out the awesomeness.

If you found this post insightful, you will probably like these too:

• How to Unlock Brilliant Solutions
• 7 Skills You Need to Develop a Career that You Love

Image courtesy of River Beach

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

Has your boss ever put an extra task on your plate because they had to disperse the work due to a round of layoffs?

You shake your head because you wonder why (put co-workers name here), who loves his hourly coffee breaks, didn’t get the extra work. You can’t complain now because you don’t want to be a part of the next round of layoffs.

Stress plays a huge role in whether or not you are happy at work. When you are unhappy you often take these feelings home with you.

Tough Times

The more a company cuts back during these tough times, the more pressure employees feel to perform with less. Marketing budgets are slashed and upper management wonders why the sales aren’t coming in. IT budgets are slashed and upper management wonders why the computer systems crash.

Have you noticed what your mood is like with your friends and family after a tough day’s work? You can’t let work dictate how you treat your family.

I like to believe that many companies care about this, but most don’t. They want high productivity on a stretched dollar. I hope to change much of this thinking through this blog. It’s all about taking things one day at a time.

Company Priorities

Companies should care about their employees’ family lives, because employees who treat their families well are more likely to treat their co-workers well. If we help people improve their personal and professional relationships, the company wins too.

I found a great quote in an article from eScience News:

“Choice is turning into expectation at most companies built upon the “team work” model, with pressures coming from project teams, responsibility for meeting profit or production targets, imposed deadlines and employees left to manage their own careers. A separate study at a software engineering firm, for example, determined that interdependent work patterns, ‘a crisis mentality,’ and a reward system based on individual heroics led to ‘inefficient work processes and long working hours.’”

The more pressure we feel, the worse we perform. We are trying to thread a needle going 50 mph. We might hit it 1/1000 times. The other 999 misses make us feel like crap.

Stress and Feelings

That’s why feelings are so important in business. If we try our hardest and all we get are looks of disapproval, we stop trying. We go into work expecting to feel uncomfortable. A lot of people end up taking out this discomfort on their families.

Working long hours isn’t the answer to getting all the work done. This only causes more stress. There needs to be expectations that people can meet, so they feel productive.

“In the future, van Echtelt and her team hope that businesses will value their ‘employees more for their efficiency and relational skills and less for their crisis mentality and working long hours.’”
- escience news

My wife is a counselor at a middle school, she deals with a lot of stressed out students and teachers. Many teachers come to her to vent. One teacher was feeling so overwhelmed that she broke out in a rash. She told me that from reading my articles my wife gave the teacher the advice that I often give here.

Stop trying to do too much and focus on the important stuff.

The teacher stopped taking her work home and actually found that she still got everything done. She became more efficient with her time and was a lot less stressed. She was still able to get all the grading done, organize her room, and plan for the next day. She stayed focused (focus is a huge part in developing your superpowers) on her work at work instead of being able to fall back on taking the work home if she had any left over.

If your company reset their expectations, allowing you to focus on only the most important projects would you go home happier?

What do you think your company could do to lower your stress levels?

* Follow Work Happy Now on Twitter. Join over 3,600 people who get happiness tips, productivity tips, and thought provoking quotes each day.

* Steven wrote an awesome post called, 56 Things I Wished I’d Known When I was Younger.  We all wish we could turn back time, but it’s even better to learn from our past experiences and make smarter decisions moving forward.

If you enjoyed this post then you will probably like these too:

> How to Discover Your Superpowers

> 7 Ways to Bring More Positivity to Your Career

Image courtesy of bottled_void

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

Did you know that elephants travel the same long journey every year?

They do. They do it because they know when the fruit will falls from the trees, so they can eat them when they are perfectly fermented and able to get a little tipsy. I forget the name of the kind of African elephant that does this, but believe me it’s true.

They only do this once a year because they have the discipline to appreciate the moment then move on.

Getting Unstuck

So many of us get stuck back in our habits and forget the power of gratitude. We forget that every moment there is a chance to appreciate where we are, what we are doing, and who we are with.

No career is perfect. No life is perfect. I’m prime example of that after discovering I have testicular cancer. I refuse to capitalize cancer because it doesn’t deserve it.

Every day there is a chance for me to see the “lousy” that is in my life, but I refuse to do this. I practice being the captain of my attitude.

Riding a Elephant

Your attitude can be like an unruly elephant, tossing you 10 feet in the air. It’s up to you to get back on, grab those reigns, and ride that beautiful beast until it gives in.

You have to practice gratitude at every chance you can remember.

> When you are stuck on an airplane that won’t take off due to weather.

> When the baby next to you is screaming its little red face off.

> When your Uncle is telling the worst Thanksgiving joke ever.

> When your back won’t stop aching.

> During the night when you can’t fall asleep and you have a huge day ahead of you.

> After your boss yells at you for messing up an account.

> When a client won’t call you back and you have no idea what you did wrong.

You have to practice when it’s the hardest because the more you practice the easier it gets. When you appreciate the moment you are making it easier to improve your situation.

No situation is perfect, but there is beauty always hidden within it if you try to find it.

When you are feelings down and there are hidden things to be grateful for. Remember that the elephant moves on and so should you. Focus back on those things that you enjoy.

Just like the elephant travels it’s journey so do you. Know that with every season is a new chance to improve your attitude and make it easier to be happier in your career and personal life.

The Takeaway

The best way to improve your attitude is to make gratitude a daily habit. At the end of each day think of all the great people, actions, and feelings you’ve had. It’s there somewhere. I promise.

Your Turn

I would love if you had 1 minute to share what you are grateful for today in the comment section. Remember it can be anything. We aren’t here to judge, just support.

Happy Thanksgiving!

* Need a boost to your work happiness? Then check out the Happy at Work Project and start one yourself.

* An amazing post on Gratitude over at Jeff Walker’s blog – The discipline of gratitude. Quality stuff. It encouraged me to post this piece.

If you enjoyed this post then you will probably like these too:

> One Sentence Work Journal

> What Hidden Emotional Anchors are Holding You Back?

Image courtesy of vtveen

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

Do you pray before work?

I’m not sure how many of you believe in a higher power, but for those of you who do, you may want to make praying a daily habit.

I’m a very spiritual person, but not a religious person. I was raised Lutheran, self-taught Buddhist, Yogi, and mix in a few others and I’ve kind of developed my own spiritual practice. Lately I’ve been getting up a half hour earlier and practicing Yoga by candle light. It’s a totally awesome wake up experience when I can find the energy to do it.

After I’m done my Yoga practice I take two minutes to pray. It’s been a huge boost to my happiness and my productivity. My interactions with friends, family and strangers has been much more pleasant.

Connections

I believe everything is tied together and that string is God. The energy is transferred back and forth with all things. It’s why I believe in the Law of Attraction. The thoughts, feelings and actions that we put out there come back to us. It’s like the whole Karma concept, but on a spiritual level.

Lately I’ve been seeing the Law of Attraction in full force.

Each morning I’ve been putting in my morning prayer. I’m asking the Universe for the things that I want to see in my world.

It’s working.

More Laughter

Lately I’ve been wanting to see more laughter in my day. I feel like I’ve been too serious. By sending out this prayer, I’m directing myself to seek out this feeling.

The first morning I prayed for more laughter, so I got on a call with a client that morning and we started off our usual talk and my client told me a story of how she owned up to a mistake by making a song out of it. She actually sang me a little piece of it and I couldn’t stop laughing. It was awesome.

I’m not sure I would have laughed so hard if I hadn’t prayed for more laughter. Prayer really is very similar to the LoA. We attract what we want out of life.

Why Prayer Works

Meditative states and contemplation bring on healing influences to the body. It lowers blood pressure, which helps the heart pump easier. This alone is worth your effort.

Add on top of that the mental focus that occurs from prayer and you have a double scoop of positivity. When you send out a desire (prayer) you are asking the universe (which includes you) to find a way to make it a reality. Sometimes it takes hours or years, but if the desire is strong enough eventually the prayer becomes a reality in some form.

The desire turns into action because you can’t resist acting on this passion. I have a friend who so desperately wanted to become a great singer. He practiced, watched, and listened to everything that had to with learning how to sing. He now has his own band and sings every weekend. When I first heard him sing he was terrible, but his desire to be great overrode any fear of failure.

You have the same tools at your disposal. If you want a better career, how are you developing that desire? If you want to learn how to improve your writing how are you developing this desire?

This is where prayer comes in. You can use prayer to increase that desire, so you take action.

I wrote down some of the prayers that have been effective for me.

12 prayers you can use before work:

Some of the things you can pray for before you start my day:

1. I hope to connect with some amazing people who are willing to laugh and smile freely.

2. I would like a small business owner to call me up, begging for my help.

3. The universe will help me keep my stress level low.

4. I will reach out to someone new, someone who needs my superpowers.

5. I pray that when I give a presentation that people connect with my content. So much so that they want to come up after the talk and shake my hand.

6. I imagine that everyone who sees me smiles at me and I smile back.

7. I will take time to appreciate 5 beautiful things in the office before I start my workday.

8. I hope that you will connect with people on a very deep level and we take the time to appreciate each other’s passions, hopes and fears.

9. I think about all the love from friends and family that is in my life. I know that without them I wouldn’t have half the strength without them.

10. I visualize helping 10 people improve their lives. It can be through a kind comment or a small prayer that I silently give them as they are in my presence.

11. When I’m feeling stressed out I will laugh at how serious I’m taking life. I know that I can get overwhelmed if I don’t find some levity in my work.

12. I pray that when I hit a creative wall that I will relax with the obstacle instead of being a big bully to myself. I will encourage myself to find 3 solutions then meditate on them for 10 minutes until the best one bubbles to the surface.

Notice all of the prayers are in a very positive and reassuring pattern. You can’t pray for less hate. You have to pray for the type of life that you want your existence to be.

Setting Your Intention

Yoga teachers talk about setting an intention before you start your routine. If your intention is to relax during the hour of stretching, you’ll be more focused on relaxing. If your intention is to become more flexible then you’ll be looking to bring this into each pose.

You are creating the experience that you want to happen.

Prayer is another way of setting your intention for the day. When you ask for certain things to come in to your life you’ll find that subconsciously you’ll be finding ways to make this happen.

It really is a beautiful process if you believe in it.

How to Pray

I don’t believe that a person has to pray in a church or in a certain fashion for prayer to work. Prayer can be done is an infinite amount of ways.

I usually pray by bowing my head. That’s it. I do this because it makes me feel humble before the universe. This isn’t me feeling small. It’s a way for me to let the universe be as it is.

You can pray by clasping your hands or in a religious building or a quick bow of the head before you leave for work. The idea is to slow down and send out a positive thought into the universe.

I find that my prayers help guide my actions. The more that I open up to the possibility of creating the type of interactions that I want from other people the more likely they are to happen.

Your Turn

What is one prayer that you could create for yourself before you start your day?

How could you try saying your prayer every morning for 30 days?

Then come back here and tell me all about it.

* Follow Work Happy Now on Twitter. Join over 3,600 people who get happiness tips, productivity tips, and thought provoking quotes each day.

* Sarah Robinson of Escape Mediocrity wrote a post about using the whole body to take action. We might be able to mentally understand that we need to act on a solution, but we physically need to be in the right emotional spot too.

If you enjoyed this post then you will probably like these too:

> Don’t Expect Overnight Success

> Why You Must Learn to Accelerate Emotional Space

Image courtesy of Old Shoe Woman

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

When you work with someone who annoys you, they can seem devastatingly awful. So awful that it can send you into a depression. Trust me – - it has happened to me.

Maybe it’s an annoying client who won’t stop emailing you, a co-worker who loves to click his pen all day long, or a boss who puts way too much work on your desk.

But as soon as you take away the annoyance, you miss parts of the experience. You miss the challenge that this annoying person created. It’s very much like a horror movie. You watch it to scare the living heck out of yourself because once it’s over, life seems so much better. This relief can be addicting.

My new friend Tammy left a great comment about this concept:

Running my own business means I don’t have the day-to-day contact with an office full of work colleagues, so my friends do get all the work chatter too! I think being an entrepreneur, your life gets a lot less compartmentalized anyway.

I know there’s a lot of problems with office politics and the like within office environments, but honestly, now and then I do think I’m missing out on a chunk of popular culture by not having an over-enthusiastic stationery cupboard manager in my life; or a particularly zealous health and safety warden confiscating my scissors!

She misses the crazy people because they add spice to the workday. After reading her blog I would say she is happier not having to deal with the “over-enthusiastic stationery cupboard manager,” but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t miss him.

When you notice something annoying you today, try to step back and feel the uniqueness of the situation. What type of sensations are happening? Are you letting your anger get the best of you? These overwhelming emotions can teach you so much about yourself.

So remember to watch, listen, and learn from what irks you because when it’s all gone you’ll want to bring back the pain. Because at least they challenged you to work on your emotional development.

* Join over 800 people who have already subscribed to the FREE Happy at Work 10 Week eCourse. It will arrive in your inbox every Monday morning, when you need it the most. (Sign up is in the top left corner)

* Social media can be a tricky beast that’s why I read Christine’s blog. One of her latest articles was how to make friend request. It’s a must read for Facebook and LinkedIn users.

If you enjoyed this post then you will probably like this one too:

> Focus on Fewer Things with Better Results – cartoon

> What Hidden Emotional Anchors are Holding You Back?

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

Why do we only get so far before we hit a wall? We know the wall will eventually come,and every time it knocks us on our ass.

This happens because we let our frustration overpower our curiosity.

We forget to love this wall. Hug this wall. It’s there for a reason.

They show us how much we care. If we just gave up when we faced a challenge it probably mean that our hearts weren’t in it in the first place.

We hit a wall and we kick it for being “stupid.” This is just a wall. A wall can’t be stupid. But we are afraid to label ourselves as stupid so we pick something outside of ourselves to label.

Internal Dialogue

Out internal dialog has all gone out of whack. We stopped owning up to our own challenges. It’s just easier to blame “the wall” instead of ourselves.

At other times we do blame ourselves. Why are we so dumb? This thinking will also never lead to positive results.

In fact, it’s even worse because we are killing our confidence and our creativity.

Creativity Link

Last night I got stuck writing a blog post and couldn’t get the message right.

I growled, blamed my chair for being uncomfortable, then went to get myself a cup of tea.

The old me would have let frustration take over and I would have given up. Maybe I would try again the next day or give up entirely. But the present me uses my emotions to push me forward. It’s really just a game, finding the right combination to allow the right solution to appear.

I noticed that my brain was still working as I was preparing my tea. I was still searching for the link to get me to where I wanted to go.

Emotional Ride

That’s the difference between a successful project and a failed project.

The failure comes when a person stops linking his/her thoughts to new options.

We do need breaks. No one can keep linking to new solutions forever. Our brains and bodies get tired and we need rest to refresh our minds.

A successful person will use a break to pull his emotions out of frustration and allow the subconscious to chew on the problem for a little while.

Then when that person comes back to the project, the emotions are calm and a solution is eminent.

By allowing the brain to keep linking consciously and unconsciously, the creative motion keeps moving forward, your walls will only be speed bumps that allow you to enjoy the emotional ride.

Your Linking System

What do you do to love your wall when you are frustrated?

Once you can separate yourself from the need for a solution then you will be working with your energy instead of against it. It’s this love that will allow you to see more than one solution to achieve your desired results.

So go hug your wall. Watch how it makes you feel. Be that Katydid from the photograph above that doesn’t know that a wall is a terrible thing, just a resting place until she is ready to climb over the wall.

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* We need to develop more ways to play at work. I’m glad Katie is spreading the word.

If you enjoyed this post then you will probably like this one too:

> How to be More Creative

> Unleash Your Creative Beast

Image courtesy of Martin LaBar (going on hiatus)

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