I’ve stumbled across an emotional tool that I’ve grown to love. It’s renewing on a scheduled basis. I’ve read about it in a few magazine articles, but never took the time to try it out. Once I did, it changed my life.

We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Many psychiatrists believe that you need to find out what happened in your past to figure out the present. The method can help, but it can also damage the person’s ability to forgive and forget. It has taken me years to forgive myself for the thousands of mistakes I’ve made. I was very tough on myself and felt that it was the only way I would learn not to make a mistake again.

The Internal Struggle

I used to struggle to wake up and see the enjoyment in the upcoming day or a task at my job. When my old habits of negativity arise I stop, let out my breath, and renew my thoughts. Now I visualize myself getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom with a smile on my face and then I physically make myself do it even when I don’t want any part of smiling. The thoughts start to turn positive. They move toward the things that are easy to enjoy, such as the feel of the soft rug, then toward brushing my teeth. All of these enjoyable thoughts surface and feed off of each other, and before I know it I’m excited to be taking a shower or eating breakfast.

Schedule It In

Renewing my life on a schedule has been easier than doing it on a moment to moment basis. I make sure that I do it first thing in the morning, once before lunch, and one time at bed. One day I hope to reach the level of working happy in every moment, but as of right now I have to work with what I’ve got.

What do you struggle to enjoy?

• A specific part of your job?

• A pain in the butt co-worker?

• Your commute to work?

Practice renewing your feelings by letting go of your dislike toward that annoying co-worker and stay in the moment. You’ll notice things that make you feel happy instead of that co-worker that brings you down.

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Most of my earlier working life had been a struggle. I swung between complicated and simple perspectives, hardly ever straddling the middle. I was afraid to let go of my limited view because I thought that if I just simplified my work I would be happy. A simple life is good, but there will always be sadness, happiness, fear, and passion in every job.

“Life’s like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending.”
- Jim Henson quotes

The tool of imagination is one that we usually reserve for kids, but as adults we need to cultivate this skill because it’s so versatile. It helps us see life from a perspective that can make our lives enjoyable, peaceful, and interesting.

We like to keep our lives simple and pleasant. The problem with simple and pleasant is that our brains seek passion and excitement. That’s why people love to complete big projects. The stimulation brings the feeling of accomplishment.

When I’m at work and I’m having a rough day I imagine what I look like in the sweetest old lady’s eyes. I see this glow of love around me and this glow starts to penetrate into my heart, filling me with joy. This perspective usually picks me up and helps me see past my negative self view.

When I was fired from a job in my mid twenties I felt like crying in the managers office (I know I’m a big baby). I hugged him good bye (he was a good man, it was the owner that didn’t like me) and promptly went into a depression. I was lost for almost two months. I went on unemployment and rode around on my bicycle. It wasn’t until I hit my lowest point that my creativity finally kicked in. Love showed up in everything and everyone. The grocery store check out lady would smile at me. My parents helped me pay my rent. I felt like I was surrounded by love. I decided to write a book about how I found my joy. I turned my life into a story. That book spurred this blog and the rest of my life.

Your imagination is a tool that can help open doors to new parts of your life. Doors that will help you tap into the work passion that you need or just turn a bad day into an exciting learning experience. The best way to do this is to start off slowly because if you start too fast you might give up. I want you to slowly tap the mind for imaginative solutions to old problems. What do you struggle with on a daily basis? Who bothers you in your life? Try using your imagination to see a new angle. If that co-worker keeps hassling you, try to imagine that he had a rough childhood. Do you do monotonous work every day? Try imagining that you are a movie star playing the role of a lifetime. You’ll be amazed at how your imagination can improve almost any situation. You’ll bring a hop back in your step.

If a bad situation keeps popping up then your creativity will only take you so far. You are going to have to change the situation by find a new job or talking to human resources. But sometimes we just need to get lost in our imaginations to make the day a little more enjoyable. In my eyes, there is nothing wrong with that.

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I’ve attended meetings where I’ve embarrassed myself. There was one meeting in particular that sticks with me to this day. I was fresh out of college and working at my first full-time job. My attention wasn’t on topic when we were talking about marketing a new valve. I tried to insert an idea into the conversation and suggested we advertise on a certain site. Everyone glared at me as if I had just grown a second nose. My boss told me that I had better pay attention because that was just mentioned. I looked down at my notes and internally yelled at myself for being stupid.

My theory at the time was - the angrier I was at myself the less likely it was that I would make that same mistake. This technique wrecked my confidence. It took me over a month to recover from that incident. I couldn’t shake off the dread of opening my mouth in a meeting. I was terrified to make another mistake.

Kindness - The Greatest Tool for Mistakes

Since that first job I’ve learned to value being kind to myself when I make a mistake and have a lapse in judgment. I am now able to forgive my mistakes, which allows me to deal with the present. It’s a simple tool to add to your life, but one of the most difficult to implement. The best way to encourage kindness is to use your mistakes as an opportunity to improve. When you have enough awareness to acknowledge your mistake, you’ve accomplished the hardest part. All you have to do is find a few things that could make your mistake helpful.

If you recognize that you have a short attention span during meetings then try to stay active by taking notes, sipping on a drink or asking questions. If you mess up a report because you didn’t double check your work then don’t get mad at yourself; use this mistake to make the next report better. Being kind to yourself allows you to keep moving forward.

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”

- Conrad Hilton

There may be moments or days of weakness, but you should always come back to learning from your mistakes. At the end of each day, try forgiving yourself for any mistakes. Whether it be a silly comment or a major blunder, you’ll notice that when you cultivate kindness for your mistakes you can use them as support for a better life.

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