Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Jon Rhodes

Timeboxing is a clever little technique that I have been intuitively using for years before I even knew it had  name. It is great for helping those who are working for themselves to avoid procrastination and get things done.

In a nutshell, it is giving yourself a deadline in which to complete a task, then doing it to the best you can with the time you have available. Here is an example of how I use this technique with my daughter to encourage her to tidy her room.

Examples Of Timeboxing

My daughter is 13 and not the tidiest of creatures, so her room is often a “tip”. When faced with the task it can understandably be daunting, and she doesn’t want to tackle it. However I have solved this by saying to her I will time her and she has only 10 minutes to make it as good as she can. It’s like a challenge, a sort of a game. I say you don’t need to finish it, just make it as good as you can in 10 minutes.

This makes her happier because she knows that she won’t be spending hours laboriously tidying. It’s only 10 minutes. Plus it makes it more fun as there is a game element to it, plus she will get praise for how much she has accomplished in such a short space of time. Every time we have done this she finished tidying her room and it is immaculate. It’s amazing what you can do with this technique.

Recently my wife got up late (around 11am) and needed to do her college homework, then go into town to buy a Christmas present. She also had college early that evening, so didn’t have a great deal of time to play with. I suggested to her that she does an hour homework right now, then we will go into town together and pick a present, then go to lunch. Although her homework was only half complete, we were eating lunch by 1pm with a present on the floor next to us. By 2.30pm we were home and she had more time to finish her homework. What could have been an unpleasant and stressful day was turned into a nice day with some leisure time, plus she achieved her objectives.  Without this technique she could have instead spent the day worrying, and getting little done.

Applications To Work

You can use timeboxing to help you with almost any given task. If your desk is untidy, then you might give yourself 10 minutes to make it look as good as you can. A big stack of filing can be made into a game if you give yourself 20 minutes to file as many as you can.

You can also use it to write articles, which is what I often do. Of course you want to write high quality articles (or at least I hope you do!), but this is OK. You can give yourself a realistic time line to complete a draft of an article. Somewhere around 2 hours is good. Then once it is finished, you can take a break, or give yourself some sort of a reward, before re-drafting. You may even want to give yourself a time limit for each redraft. I don’t seem to need to do this, as when I have finished an article, I actively enjoy the process of redrafting – sad I know! The point is that we are all different, and as you get to know yourself better, you will use this technique more and more effectively.

Why Timeboxing Works

Timeboxing works because it helps you get started with something, instead of worrying about how you are going to do it. It also helps bypass the pressures of perfectionism, which can hamper us from starting, continuing, and finishing a task. Jobs that at first appear intimidating can seem far simpler with timeboxing.

About the Author

Jon Rhodes is a clinical hypnotherapist, plus a successful internet marketer in the hypnotherapy field. In his blog he shares some of his secrets. Find more of his tips for successful business on his blog Affiliate Help.

* Image courtesy of KWDesigns

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

Editor’s note: this is a guest post from Kaley Klemp the Co-Author of The Drama-Free Office

It’s gossip, turf wars, water cooler talk, and the chronic complainer no one can stand. When you talk with people about the organizations they work for, it’s common to hear about the “Drama” plaguing their companies: the energy-draining behaviors that keep people from focusing on the creative projects and basic business practices that make the company successful.

If we could just get through the drama, the business decisions and real work isn’t that hard…

Blame Game

It’s easy to blame drama on others.  After all, you’re the good guy in these dynamics; why don’t they get it?  One of the most difficult challenges for aspiring leaders is to “own their stuff”—to acknowledge that they are equally responsible for creating any situation where drama exists.

I learned this lesson working on a writing project with another author – my dad. He had some great ideas that I was happy to work with. But then he became controlling. It was easy for me to see how things were falling apart – and it was his fault! He was the one who wasn’t listening. He was the one who was setting impossible deadlines. I was ready to take all I knew about eliminating drama and apply it to him.

Four Energy-draining Personalities

Most drama is caused by four primary energy-draining personalities that sabotage workplace collaboration and synergy:

• Complainer
• Controller
• Cynic
• Caretaker.

The Complainer is the one who is never at fault – not enough time, resources or support. The Controller has to be in charge – perhaps micromanaging, sometimes being the bully. The Cynic must be right; often pointing out how others’ ideas will never work and making fun of the person who brought it up. The Caretaker wants to be liked so much that they say yes to everything, which becomes a problem when they bite off more than they can chew and they miss deadlines.

Like me, most people want to start with the question: how do I help others change? But, we have found that before you can guide others, you have to take inventory of your interaction strengths and the ways you sabotage relationships. The strength inventory is usually easy. It’s fun to appreciate your talent and amazing ability to do what you do. The sabotage inventory is more difficult. It requires the vulnerability and courage to seek others’ candid observations and advice about your behavior.

Watch Yourself

Taking my own advice, I asked myself what my part was in creating the drama. I wondered which Drama personalities I was using that were sabotaging us. I noticed how I had fallen into Complainer. I didn’t have enough time to do everything he asked and his requests were too hard. I realized that I would have micromanaged someone acting the way I was. Then I saw my Cynic. The enthusiasm I had at the beginning of the project had become critical… I saw everything wrong with what we were doing, but didn’t offer any suggestions to change. Once I saw myself in these drama roles, I could shift into taking responsibility – renegotiating our deadlines and making suggestions for how we could change the writing to be better.

By identifying and correcting the four drama roles (Complainer, Controller, Cynic, Caretaker), you are well on your way to eliminating drama. If you want even more clarity, invite your work colleagues, family members, and friends to give you timely, direct feedback.

Quick Drama Reducing Tips

Here is a quick way to start looking at how these drama roles show up for you.  Ask friends and coworkers:

• Where do you see me complaining? Not taking responsibility for my situation?
• Where do you see me controlling? Taking over and micromanaging?
• Where do you see be being cynical? Discounting others or being sarcastic?
• Where do you seem me care-taking? Rescuing others instead of letting them do things on their own?

You can also take a free drama assessment for yourself. Let me know what you find out about yourself. And what can you do to change?

Kaley Klemp and Jim Warner are the authors of The Drama-Free Office: A Guide to Healthy Collaboration with Your Team, Coworkers, and Boss.

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

I’m afraid of failure. I’m not so afraid of failure that my creativity locks up. I have a popular blog, social media accounts, and I’ve interviewed superheroes in the business world. I’m putting stuff out into the world to help people, but I’m still holding back.

I recently hopped on Twitter tried to think of something cool and insightful, gave up and went to watch an old episode of The Office. Then as I watched the episode my arch nemesis was whispering at me for being so lame and worthless. I hate when that little voice inside me whispers to me instead of screams. It’s so much harder to ignore him. Why is that?

Still Nothing

I turned off the TV, hopped back on Twitter and still nothing came to me.

I’ve been afraid to tell you my insecurities for fear of you thinking I’m a fraud. I’m a fraud who teaches work happiness, but can’t seem to find any happiness myself.

Then when I was at my lowest and ready to give up I realized something profound. The whole point of a career/business is to find people who love our ideas, love our work, and love what we do. It’s that simple.

Ok it’s simple to say, but so very hard to do.

Born This Way

I’ve found that I am what I am. As Lady Gaga likes to say, “BornThisWay.”

I can tell you about my childhood, complaining about what went wrong or I can own this life and not apologize for who I am.

You need to own your career and not be afraid to be you.  You are you because of many reasons, but denying these reasons is pointless.

You have superpowers that are probably underutilized. It’s your job to figure out how to utilize them more efficiently.

The Reality

I felt like I was searching in all the wrong places, but really I’ve been heading in the right direction without even knowing it. It’s amazing how the subconscious mind has desires and the ability to act on them. I’m an expert in work happiness because I lived in the trenches. I still live in the trenches and every now and again I get out and enjoy the moment. It’s these insights that I bring to you because I’ve been there and I know how to help you.

I’m not the perfect business coach. I have a lot of faults, but that doesn’t mean I’m not good at what I do.

You have faults too, but it can’t stop you from using our superpowers. Tim Brownson wrote about this here. It’s not about the faults that you have. You can’t focus on these. You need to concentrate on your skills that you are passionate about, get you in the zone, and play to your strengths.

Your Turn

You may be here because you feel that you’ve been heading in the wrong direction, but in reality you aren’t that far from your happiness. All that needs to happen is a small shift in your thinking and actions.

You probably are like me and don’t realize how far you’ve come and how many superpowers you’ve accumulated over the years.

Take a look at what you’ve accomplished. How your superpowers have helped build a business, support clients, and teach new methods that have saved people hundreds of hours of time.

You are probably doing a lot of good things that you can add on to and leverage into a happier career.

What small tweak can you make that will help you use more of your superpowers in your career/business?

* I’ve been much happier helping people supercharge their business instead of their career. It plays more to my superpowers. Plus throwing Twitter parties are so much fun. Finding my career happiness has been a nonstop journey. It’s why you can’t give up because once you find your career groove it’s like sliding on warm butter.

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Lisa H. (aka RunningBear) of Getting to Zen

If you charge for your work, then you know the dilemma between charging hourly versus charging by the project. There are arguments for and against both. For example, if you charge by the project, you could end up doing a lot more work than the project is worth and if you charge by the hour, you many lose clients to the variability of the cost. Knowing the personality type of the persons you are working with can not only help you in deciding how to charge for your efforts but make your working relationships a whole lot smoother.

The project

When most of my clients ask me to design a web site, I quote them a price, design the site and post it for review a few days later. For the most part, the design elements (layout, font, colors, pictures) are left to me. And so when Tom, whom I had designed four club web sites for in this way came to me and asked me to design one for his company, I quoted a price and off I went.

The players

Tom was happy with the final design, however, Sara, who I had not met and seemed to be in charge of the project, was not. She gave me a few pointers and with that I designed a second site. The same thing happened. Tom was happy with it and Sara once again was not. Now, instead of designing one site for the quoted price, I had designed two and would have to design a third to satisfy her.

The drama

After a phone conversation with Sara, I realized that she wanted the project to be more of a collaborative effort. Not only did she have a specific way that she worked, but she had a specific vision of how she wanted the site to look. Sara wanted to select the layout, fonts, colors, images and image were used and then get input from everyone else in the company.

The awakening

After speaking with Sara, I knew that even after the third site was created there could be several more changes to it. I had already put in double the work I had expected and was beginning to feel taken advantage of.

The epiphany

And then it occurred to me that Sara wasn’t trying to make the project difficult. We worked differently and she was just being herself. In that instant I knew I would needed to change my approach to the work. The next day I sent an email to the company telling them that from now on, I would charge hourly. Problem solved.

The resolution

This way Sara could ask me to make as many changes as she wanted to and I would not mind because I knew that I would get compensated for making them.

What I learned is how important it is to know the personality type of those who you work with. According to the SELF profile by National Press Publications, there are four broad types of personalities in the business world.

I have provided a snapshot of each of them below.

Do you know which one you fit into most? How about your coworkers?

“S” Personalities

Type: creative, enthusiastic, sociable, impatient, gregarious involved

Strengths: original, conceptual, warm, approachable, flexible

Weaknesses: unrealistic, devious, impractical, undisciplined, uncontrolled

Preferences: adventure, fun, excitement, getting to the point

Allow sociable people the flexibility to be creative. They seek recognition. Reward their work with enthusiasm. Make sure they get lots of credit and respect their need to be social.

“E” Personalities

Type: task-oriented, results-focused, action-oriented, workaholic, hard charging

Strengths: pragmatic, assertive, directive, competitive, confident, open to options

Weaknesses: domineering, arrogant, status-seeking

Preference: The bottom line

Take advantage of this personality types need to be in control and clean up messes. When business gets bad, they are the ones to call on.

“L” Personalities

Type: emotional, caring introspection, melancholy, sympathetic, diplomatic

Strengths: persuasive, probing, loyal, warm, sensitive, supportive

Weakness: Impulsive, procrastinating, subjective, overcautious

Preference: no threat or conflict, avoids making decisions or risking offending others

Treat this personality type fairly, supportively and openly. Compromise and strive for consensus. They are team players and want what is best for everyone.

“F” Personalities

Type: analytical, logical, self controlled, detail oriented, aloof, skeptical, conservative

Strengths: perfectionist, well-organized, objective, relational, conceptual, persistent

Weakness: withdrawn, sullen, dull, shy, passive

Preference: facts, figures, proof, thoroughness

Acknowledge this personality type’s expertise. Give them factual data and be consistent. Provide them with well-thought out plans of action.

While reading through the personality types you may have found that you fit into more than one category. This is common. We all have traits of each of the personality types; however, one is usually dominant. Remember, no one personality type is better than the other, they are just different. Keep this article in mind the next time you encounter someone, it will make your relating to them a whole lot easier.

Lisa H. (aka RunningBear) is the founder of Getting to Zen-a personal development blog dedicated to those in pursuit of authentic happiness through purposeful living. You can sign up for her RSS feed or follow her on Twitter.

Image courtesy of Ghostboy.

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Barry Demp of Demp Coaching

In the military, rather than waiting passively for the enemy to attack, you attack first – this is called a pre-emptive strike.

The pre-emptive strike isn’t just useful in the military, though: it’s also a powerful technique that I use with my coaching clients in the business world.

You may have certain high-maintenance employees and co-workers who tend to interrupt a lot and ruin your momentum. Maybe you get a phone call, or they pop into your office – however the interruption comes, it breaks your flow. This is when a pre-emptive strike is warranted.

Why Interruptions Are So Disruptive

If you think back to your physics lessons, you’ll remember that something in motion tends to stays in motion – but something that starts and stops loses its momentum. This is exactly what happens to you when your work day is constantly interrupted.

Think of driving a vehicle. If you drive 200 miles without stopping, your gas mileage will be pretty good. But if you drive 200 miles and have to start and stop at lights, because of traffic, and so on … it’ll take much longer and your gas mileage will be much worse.

How to Conduct a Pre-Emptive Strike Against Interruptions

Identify the time thieves of your day, particularly when they happen to be people. Which clients phone you eight times a day? Which colleagues constantly want your advice?

Find out who those folks are and proactively engage them on your timeline. If they usually call at 10:00AM,  consider establishing a time earlier in the day to discuss a mutually agreed upon list of tasks and priorities.

I was coaching a woman who was an executive at a public relations firm and she had a very high-maintenance marketing director at an automotive supplier. Although she spent a good portion of the day working on his project, he would call five or more times a day and interrupt her.

We introduced a pre-emptive strike: she would have a call with him first thing in the morning and tell him in detail what they were doing for him and his account. She’d also ask whether there was anything else he needed from her. After that conversation, he was out of ammunition: there was nothing more he wanted, expected or needed. He was satisfied knowing that his needs – and his whims – were being taken care of.

How the Pre-Emptive Strike Can Help

A pre-emptive strike allows you and your client or colleague to prepare a list of needs  or problems to discuss: instead of having to deal with those things throughout the day, you can ask people to save them for when you’re going to meet.

Many times, your pre-emptive strike strategy will help others to solve their own problems: they may come up with their own ideas rather than turning straight to you.

We’re all time-crunched and pulled in so many directions – let’s have every interaction be as meaningful and effective as possible.

Pre-Emptive Strikes Aren’t Just For Work

You can use pre-emptive strikes in your personal life, too. For instance, if you have family members who call you when you get home and just want to relax, try calling them first, while you’re driving home. That way, Mom or Dad won’t call in the middle of your favorite TV show.

What if Your High-Maintenance Client / Colleague Isn’t Responsive?

You won’t eliminate interruptions by using the pre-emptive strike – but you can create some boundaries and agreements.

For instance, you could tell people “I’m really busy today and won’t be available by phone, but you’re welcome to send a text or email.” If they still interrupt, you can ask them “Can it wait?” and encourage them to work through the issues on their own.

You may need to introduce two or three pre-emptive strikes: first thing in the morning, just before lunch, and at the end of the day for closure. Three phone calls are still better than ten!

By being proactive and using a pre-emptive strike – instead of being reactive and constantly being interrupted – you’re able to take better control of your day.

Do you have a high-maintenance client, colleague or family member? What are you going to do to take back control?

Barry Demp is a highly-skilled Michigan Business and Personal coach. He specializes in helping small business owners, executives, consultants and other professionals to boost their productivity, profitability, and life balance.

Image courtesy of Chris_Britton

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Kenneth McCall is director of IT for storage.com.

I love email. It gives me a running record of who said what when. I can write a very business-like email even late at night or early in the morning – look how late he’s working, impressive! I can give bad news gently without having to actually face the person. I get to use passive-aggressive smiley faces. Guess you’ll have that report for me tomorrow instead of today since it’s already 5:30?

But even as email becomes more solidified as the ubiquitous communication vehicle in the workplace, there still doesn’t seem to be an accepted standard of business email practices. With everyone following their own email instincts messages get bungled, feelings hurt, and lots of time is spent going back and forth to clarify, amend, confirm, and respond. Email is supposed to make work life more efficient, but unless it is used thoughtfully and consistently with effective communication practices in place it can prove a time- and brain-drain instead.

Here are some communication practices you may want to incorporate into your work emails to make sure your message is received effectively and efficiently:

Send only to necessary recipients

You don’t want to be that guy whose name shows up in everyone’s inbox and no one ever opens it because you send too many unnecessary emails. To avoid a reputation for over-emailing irrelevant materials, email only those who must be included for that specific message. The same goes for replying. It is not necessary to Reply All on group emails. Reply only to those recipients for whom your reply is necessary.

Make your subject line work

Make people happy by letting them know exactly what your email is about. This way they can prioritize it, know what to expect, and know what the urgency level is for responding. Be specific. Good examples: Important Update to Customer Relations Protocol; Mandatory Meeting for Sales Reps Today; Need Your Help to Plan Conference. Bad examples: Hi; Update; FYI; Ideas?; Sales Reps; Meeting; Conference; Help.

Keep your subject in check

Don’t slip extra information into an email that doesn’t have to do with the subject line. This information could get missed because it is out of context. Instead, send a separate email with an appropriate subject line to that topic.

Address your recipients by name

Nothing gets a person’s attention like calling out his or her name. A guy I know who likes to tell stories calls out people’s names throughout the telling as if to be sure they are paying attention. I was playing golf the other day, Dan, and you know what I saw, Linda? An alligator. That’s right, Bill. An alligator. Yes, it’s annoying in that case, but I will say he does hold everyone’s attention. So start your email by addressing your recipients so they have their ears perked up ready to give full attention to your message. This is especially helpful later in the message with action items for more than one person. For example: Linda, please call corporate by noon tomorrow to get the latest numbers. Dan, review the site analysis one last time and then send to Acme Printing to make twenty copies.

Keep the tone professional

Recently I was in the position of having to break the news to an employee who works remotely that she had made a pretty big mistake. Her response was OMG! Texting acronyms should not be used in a professional email. Younger employees may need a crash course in professional communication, so to avoid unprofessional text talk in company email consider giving new employees a list of email standards.

Let clarity be your guiding force

Even though a friendly demeanor is always appreciated in the workplace, err on the side of cold clarity over casual banter in emails. If your message is cloaked in jokey or chummy language, it will lose its effectiveness. Make your message clear by using specific points broken into small paragraphs with white space in between so your points are quickly and easily digested by your recipient. Be concise so that extraneous stories and wordiness do not detract from your message. If action needs to be taken by the reader, make sure the action is clearly identified as such and is clearly and specifically spelled out, including steps and deadlines if appropriate.

Attach first

Get in the habit of attaching proper attachments before you write your message so that you don’t forget to attach before sending.

Think twice about humor

Like a lot of people, I have a sarcastic side. Sometimes it comes across playfully in emails, but sometimes it doesn’t and instead of looking witty I look like a complete jerk. So much of humor and jaunty sarcasm depends on body language, and when your only recourse for body language is using those emoticons I mentioned earlier you’re a bit limited. So instead of sharing your snarky personality with co-workers via email, save it for the water-cooler when they can tell by your physical demeanor whether you are serious or teasing. Teasing tones are best left out of email, especially work emails. They can so easily be misconstrued and sometimes in an effort to correct them we can put our feet even further in our mouths.

Proofread

Avoid all opportunities for co-workers or clients not to take you seriously and dismissing your message as a result. This includes using correct grammar, spelling, and writing that is clear and concise.

Hopefully these tips will help you love email, too, or at least keep your inbox a little less cranky. When email becomes unwieldy or underlying negativity seems to be lurking between the lines stop the madness of that particular exchange. Pick up the phone or even go see the person face-to-face. The human voice is a powerful thing: it cuts to the chase and keeps folks honest. No matter what mode of communication you are using, always be clear and be respectful or people’s time and efforts and your co-workers will be receptive to your message.

Kenneth McCall is director of IT for storage.com. He builds the systems that help customers find the best self storage units for their needs. Through Kenneth’s and his team’s work customers can find self storage in Philadelphia and other cities. In his spare time, Kenneth likes to bike and participate in outdoor activities.

* Images courtesy of ksablan

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

You may notice that it’s easier to enjoy a certain situation when in a good mood. You aren’t affected by problems as easily. This occurs because your focus is on something that keeps you happy.

Standing in line behind two young women, probably in their early twenties, at the grocery store and they were complaining about their boyfriends. Their groceries were on the conveyer belt waiting to be wrung up. They had bananas, a mango, strawberries, two types of cheeses and crackers. It looked like they were going to eat an amazing snack. They weren’t excited about this wonderful meal they were soon to make, but only worried about their awful boyfriends.

I was so focused on their conversation that I forgot about myself. I was judging them. I felt like they were whining too much. I was doing the same thing they were. I was judging them for only looking for the negative. I had glorious food about to be purchased too. This made me think about my focus at work. Some days my focus is about knocking the work out, so I can get home. This defeats the purpose of work. We aren’t meant to be robots. We were created to feel and be aware of our experiences.

Losing Focus

Last Sunday… I was so caught up in finishing my drawing of a flower with a human face on it talking to a dog about proper mouth hygiene that I missed the point of the exercise – fun, stress relief, and relaxation. Drawing is an enjoyable hobby, but sometimes I lose focus. I need to remind myself why I’m doing it.

As I was finishing my drawing I slowed down and let the moment sink in, the pure joy of creating a white sheet into a story. That’s when I had a mini revelation. I needed to relax my drive and use my focus to experience the moment and the feeling of being productive.

Relationships, Tasks and Emotions

When we’re mad at a co-worker or family member it’s all we can feel. We are so caught up in the hurricane of emotions that we forget that there are other emotions to be felt. By acknowledging the main emotion that is dominating at the moment we can learn to allow it to only suck so much of our energy. Moving the focus toward other parts of the experience we can process through the emotions faster.

Working on tasks is similar to relationships. A certain task may frustrate us, but it’s because we get too caught up in accomplishing instead of experiencing.

When we push ourselves to finish our task we are losing sight of the larger picture. We make more mistakes because we just want to be done with it. The people who allow themselves to experience the fun in the moment as well as knocking the job out will have an easier time being productive. They understand that they choose how to process the task.

Your Perspective

Most of us have seen two opposite types of people working side by side in a retail store. One is smiling and willing to go the extra mile while the other one wonders why she is tortured by life. They are really not that different, but one learned how to divide her time between finding the joy in the work, while the other one sees and endless sea of people who need, need, need.

Your career happiness will depend on your focus. You can choose to find ways to make the experience enhance your career or you can keep complaining that whatever you try only blows up in your face. Your career is all yours, keep your focus on enjoying the moment for what is, nothing more and nothing less, as well as the joy of being productive. You’ll take your work happiness to a level that will astound you and your co-workers.

Your Turn

When working on an email or finishing a report where is your focus? (i.e. finishing the email or getting to the next project)

How do you make time to enjoy the moment?

* Karl Staib is addicted to throwing Twitter Parties. If you want to learn how Twitter Parties can help your business grow click here. You can also follow Karl on Twitter and learn how to build your business by standing on other people’s shoulders.

* I loved this post, A Dick Tracy lunchbox gave me some decent advice, from Havi Brooks of the Fluent Self. The bonus part is it fits nicely with the theme of my post.

If you found this post insightful, you will probably like these too:

• Coworker Trust – Sometimes It’s Better to Give AND Receive
• What Elephants Have in Common with Gratitude

Image courtesy of Blue Square Thing

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

Your road rage can build trying to get to and from work. It’s a double edged pain. Even those of you who work from home you still have to fight through traffic to get to meetings, dropping your kids off or catching a plane. You can’t escape the car culture that we live in. We are dependent on cars. Maybe one day we can sit in hydrogen powered pods that take us to our destination as we play with our iPhones, but for now we are stuck with driving our cars.

I’m writing about road rage because of my own issues with my commute. I used to get really pissed off at anyone who didn’t match my style of driving. It was pretty sad really. The rage can come on fast. Sometimes I don’t even notice it and all of a sudden I’m screaming. This doesn’t happen very often anymore because I can offset these feelings quickly, but it took one particular reframe to make it happen.

I researched some statistics and found some cool ones. This one is a bit old, but one of my favorites:

“A 1995 study performed by the Road Safety Unit of the Automobile Association of Great Britain found that 90 percent of the drivers surveyed had experienced “road rage” incidents during the preceding 12 months. In this study, 60 percent of drivers admitted to losing their tempers behind the wheel during the previous year, and one percent claimed they had been physically assaulted by another motorist.” from AAA Foundation for Driver’s Safety

You face this rage probably every time you get in the car. Just think of how many people you pass to and from work each week. If you live in a city like I do, it’s easily in the thousands. There are plenty of different kinds of drivers to spark your rage.

My Story

I finally had enough with my anger when I lashed out screaming obscenities at an older lady. As I stared down and passed by this older lady, I realized I was way out of line.

I couldn’t believe that I let my anger take over like that. All she was doing was driving 5 miles below the speed limit. She wasn’t kicking puppies for fun, she was just driving the way she felt safe.

After I got home I realized that the older lady was probably someone’s grandmother. How would I feel if my grandmother was yelled at by some guy because he was late to work?

I vowed to change my ways.

How

To change your perspective takes practice. You can’t just turn off the little anger switch every time you are commuting to work. You’ve got to work with these feelings, slowly massaging your way to a more gentle and happier driver.

What you can do is use a simple technique that encourages you to let go of your anger and bring yourself back to an emotional center.

Grandmothers

As you know my anger had me lashing out at an old lady, which I realized could have been my grandmother. So I used this information to keep my anger in check.

I realized that thinking of each person as my grandmother I could relax my anger and keep myself emotionally grounded.

Next time I felt anxious to get to work, a meeting or the airport and I was about to lash out I imagined my grandmother behind the wheel. It nipped my anger in the bud. I stopped letting my anger take over.

Even if it’s not an old lady, I realize that every person is just trying to do what they feel is right. They all have friends and family that care for them. Even if it’s some crazy dude with a long beard, he might be the coolest dad to his two son’s. Each person has an inner grandmother (AKA their caring side). I just try to visualize the person as a caring old grandmother who fusses over her grandchildren when I’m feeling road rage come on.

Your Rage

Your road rage usually comes from a place of frustration. You don’t want to deal with your boss or you don’t want to work on a certain project. The issue is not some jerk of a guy. It’s how you let yourself feel about this guy. This issue is for another post but know that you can only deal with the situation in that moment.

Your stress can hold you back from enjoying your co-workers or even send you to the emergency ward, so it’s your job to set up your commute so you are optimally happy when you walk in the door. It’s a lot easier to impress a coaching client when I show up calm, happy and centered.

Your Turn

Who can you imagine the other drive who is pushing your anger over the edge? (e.g. grandmother, 2^nd grade teacher, old neighbor down the street)

How can you remind yourself to practice this concept before you commute to work? (i.e. write yourself a note and stick it to your radio.)

* Join us at Party Biz Connect. We throw these awesome Twitter parties (click here to find out what a Twitter party is) to help people launch their cool stuff that they’re putting out into the world. You can win cool prizes at every party. One person won a 3 day workshop worth $1,999. You also get member only access to audio interviews that teach you how to build relationships to level up your business.

* One of the smartest and kindest people in the blogging world is Chris Garrett. You should check out how he can help you build your blogging authority.

If you found this post insightful, you will probably like these too:

• 5 Tips on How to Make Small Talk with Your Boss
• How to Stop Interruptions and Be More Productive

Image courtesy of PDXdj

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

“The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment.”

- Earl Nightingale

Cells are the foundation of life. Each cell works together to help you survive. Unnourished cells become sluggish. It’s these cells that are starving. They don’t just want to live they want to thrive.

You must constantly feed these cells to keep them energized. That means eating right, sleeping well and feeding your curiosity every single day.

You’ve seen a train pulling over a hundred freight cars behind them. It takes a long time for a train to get the whole load moving, but once it does it requires a lot less energy to maintain velocity.

Your Internal Train

Your mind, heart, and cells want to do amazing work. They want work they can get lost in, be so consumed that time ceases to exist. The best way to do this is to find a deeper purpose behind your work. If you are working for the paycheck the internal train will stall on a regular basis. There is never enough money to compensate you for your time away from things you truly love.

As I was doing research on various people, I discovered underlying truths to people who loved what they did and loved making money while doing it.

These concepts are:

• Know your purpose
• Have a deep understanding of your needs
• Enjoy the process

Gary Hirshberg, the CEO of Stonyfield Farms, is the perfect example of being guided from his internal passion train instead of external needs.

Purpose must be your greatest focus

Gary is a serial entrepreneur who started in business teaching sustainable agricultural practices. He partnered with Stonyfield farms to initially help pay for his sustainable farming school. Eventually he jumped all in. He believed the world needed healthier dairy products and people would pay for it. He borrowed money from family, friends, and anyone who would believe in his organic yogurt. His mother in-law believed that Gary would succeed because he couldn’t see himself failing.

What project have you recently worked on where you refused to fail? (i.e. cooking an amazing meal, teaching your child to read)

Why was this work so important to you?

The purpose behind your work is where you will find the greatest motivation. It’s this intrinsic motivation that stirs your cells into action.

Deep Understanding of Your Needs

Gary has a deep need to create. As a serial entrepreneur he was an environmental activist, windmill-maker, author, and noted entrepreneur when he joined Stonyfield Farms. He needs to create.

What do you need to create? (By actually writing out what you need to create you are planting the seed to actually reach this goal.)

Why do you need to create this thing?

Every career is filled with choices. For every good choice you make, you will probably make two bad choices. When you understand your needs you will be able to make adjustments so they aren’t off course for very long.

Enjoy the process

Gary started Stonyfield by doing every job possible. He milked cows, shoveled manure, and delivered the yogurt to stores. He was a man on a mission. If he didn’t enjoy getting dirty, he would have stayed in the safety of his institute. I bet he is glad that he doesn’t have to do these difficult jobs now, but during these early days it was needed and even loved.

What actions do you enjoy?

Why do you enjoy these actions?

Finding a way to enjoy the process comes back to purpose, understanding what your goals are, and what it takes to accomplish them.

Career Values

“The world is full of people that have stopped listening to themselves or have listened only to their neighbors to learn what they ought to do, how they ought to behave, and what values they should be living for.” – Joseph Campbell

Your values should align with your career. Do you believe in earth conservation, but work for a company that paves over large acres of land? This example is extreme, but it happens all the time. People rationalize their choices and hate themselves for doing it.

You have to understand what values you need to live to be happy.

My top 5 career values are:

• Have fun
• Stay curious
• Seek the truth
• Enjoy the process
• Teach my knowledge

If I can’t do this in my job, I refuse to work. I absolutely need every one of these concepts to be happy.

As you may have noticed, my values are very broad. I worked for some pretty lousy bosses and still was able to live these concepts. Every part of my career, good and bad, led me to where I am now. My gratitude for my terrible and amazing career teachers is unwavering.

What values do you need to be happy in your career?

Be a Truth Seeker

One of my favorite truth seekers is Hugh Macleod of Gaping Void, a person who has learned to optimize his superpowers and leverage them into a brilliant career.

Hugh is a cartoonist who turned his passions into a business. He started a blog, wrote and drew about his pain, and figured out how to make it profitable. He is commissioned for projects, sells prints of his work, writes books and speaks to audiences.

I first met Hugh at the South by South West (sxsw) web interactive conference in 2009. Before I saw him speak, I had heard of him and maybe checked out his blog once but never really knew of him until he talked on a panel called “From Blog to Book Deal.” He threw around the F-word, laughed at silly comments from the audience, and let his real personality out.

The best part of his talk was his ability to cut through the bullshit. He wasn’t afraid to stop someone in the middle of a question and tell them that they needed to look a little deeper within themselves.

His calls his cartoons “cube grenades” because they help people see their own truth. People want someone who can cut through the fog and help them see life clearly.

When you are searching for truth you can help people get closer to their truth, too. It’s why I became a business coach. I wanted to seek my truth and now I want to help people develop their careers to help them live their truth.

Gary Hirshberg, the CEO of Stonyfield Farms, refused to let his dream die. Now his success allows him to sit on the boards of Dannon Yogurt, Applegate Farms, and many more great companies. He put himself in position to influence these companies to create more sustainable farming practices.

Your Turn

What is the truth that you seek?

How can you help people understand this truth?

* Join us at Party Biz Connect. We throw Twitter parties to help people launch their cool stuff that they’re putting out into the world. Marketing is changing, it’s about relationships. We all need to find ways to build relationships in a way that’s fun and doesn’t feel like work.

* Social Media Examiner has a cool post about LinkedIn (Are you a member?). It’s his 100,000,000 members. It’s a great networking tool, so if you haven’t joined up yet, go check it out.

If you found this post insightful, you will probably like these too:

• How to Unlock Brilliant Solutions
• What Would You do Differently in Your Career?

Image courtesy of Gabriela Camerotti

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Kole McRae of Office Buddha

I used to be a door to door salesman. I would get up around 6am to spend a 10 hour day selling phone services to people who didn’t really need them. I hated the job and dreaded each morning (I got no days off) but for some strange reason I just kept on doing it.

The money was pretty good. It covered rent and food and it let me go out and have fun whenever I felt like it. I reasoned that I only had to do it for a few years and then I could take a 2 year break and just live off my savings. So things sucked right now, the future would rock.

In reality I was lying to myself. Every since I was a kid it had been beaten into me that you have to suffer if you want something good. You suffer through school to get a good job, suffer through 50 or more years of work to get a good retirement. You’re whole life would be suffering just so you could get maybe 20 years of fun.

This is completely wrong. You can be happy now AND in the future. All you have to do is get your priorities right.

Priorities

Chances are your priorities right now center around money. It’s understandable why they would be. Without money you can’t afford a place to stay, food to eat, nights out with the girls, etc. You think that if you work hard all this week you’ll have enough money to have a fun night out on Saturday.

This is an old way of thinking that used to work incredibly well. Back in the olden days you’d get paid every week for the labour you put in. Do manual labour for 40 hours and you’d be able to party all weekend.

Things have changed though, the work we do isn’t manual any more. Most of us work in an office doing what I like to call ‘high’ thinking. We come up with strategies, use creativity and make managerial decisions.

I have an alternative: prioritize based on happiness.

Right Now

What’s going to make you happy right this second? To tell your boss his haircut looks ugly and that he can take your job and stuff it?

Well, you probably shouldn’t do that.

What you can do is start work on making it so you can. Do you have a business idea burning at the back of your head? How about a novel that you know will be an instant best seller? Do you want to rock out on a stage, guitar in hand?

Why aren’t you working on that?

These days it’s become incredibly easy to make money doing what you love. Look at all the independent authors making millions. So start writing your business plan, start writing that novel. Go and take those guitar lessons you always wanted to do. You’re happiness is far more important than what your boss may want.

You’ll find as you do this that you are already feeling happier. Stress will melt away and you won’t worry about getting fired any more.

Now here is the fun part. Start having fun every day. Don’t worry about working late or doing your work at home. Instead go to a movie or out to the bar. Do something that makes you smile.

The value of money changes every day. One day an American dollar is worth its weight in gold, the next it could be worth nothing. Happiness on the other hand will always be valuable. Plus, to earn happiness, you don’t have to suffer. You just have to smile.

Full Circle

A few weeks after making this realization I was able to walk into my bosses office and tell him where to shove my job. I’d taken the time to apply to college, figure out all the financing (you know if you look hard enough you can go to college for free and make something of yourself).

Walking into his office with a huge grin on my face was the most exhilarating feeling of my life. I was literally shaking with excitement as I sat down and gave him the ‘bad’ news.

I’m a professional writer now and love every minute of my life. I don’t have to worry about dressing up nice or pretending to like someone I don’t. I now value my happiness above any other thing in existence.

How about your priorities? Is family more important than work? How about your health? You do know stress has been linked with heart disease right? That can’t be good for your health.

My Tip

The best advice I can give is to write down all of your priorities. Make a simple list that you can look at every day. Then when you have to make a decision take a look at the list and use it to help.

When you realign you’re priorities you’ll find life gets far better.

Your Turn

Are you living your priorities?

How can you tweak your career so you can live more of your values?

Kole of Office Buddha is a writer and all round nice guy. He was built by a mad scientist with the parts of lesser writers. He was made to destroy the world but ends up just eating ramen all day and writing. His work has been published in newspapers, national magazines, blogs around the world and even on the radio.

* Follow me on Twitter. Join over 3,700 people who get happiness tips, productivity tips, and thought provoking quotes each day.

* I’ve been doing a lot more audio recently and one of my favorite audio editing tutorials is from Pace Smith of the Connection Revolution.

If you found this post insightful, you will probably like these too:

• 7 Ways to Have a Good Relationship With Your Boss
• 6 Tips on How to Have a Productive Day at Work

Image courtesy of Refracted Moments

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!