Archive for the Positive Thinking Category
Stop Ordering Yourself Around
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Mike Bundrant of iNLP.
“Do it, Mike! Just do it! Stop your whining and get off your butt!”
This is how I used to motivate myself. I carried around an inner high school football coach to bark at me whenever he thought I was slacking. The problem was, I constantly stressed myself out. Worse, half the time I “rebelled” against this inner dictator and became passive aggressive toward my own goals. How’s that for nutty?
Patterns
Actually, this is a common pattern. A “dictator” style of motivation has an undermining effect in the long run. Most people don’t like to be ordered around. In the workplace it leads to low morale and a low productivity, high-turnover workforce. Dictator-style parents tend to divide families and create harsh rivalries in the home. Ordering yourself around leads to the number one killer of personal development goals: self-sabotage.
Think about it. To your mind and body, a harsh, loud voice ordering you around is jarring, regardless of the source. You respond with stress and resistance whether from an outsider imposing his will or you imposing your will upon yourself. In the end, your brain experiences the commands in a similar fashion. Your mind places a lot less emphasis on the origin of an experience than you may think. All of us can make our mouths water just by imagining a delectable dessert. We’ve all reacted with fear to inner thoughts that had no basis in external reality. Ordering yourself around is being ordered around, period. Chances are, you don’t like it and will shut down, refusing to take any action at all.
The stress and resistance of dictatorial self-motivation is an expressway to self-sabotage. “I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do!” is the common response to inappropriate commands, even when those commands are self-generated. It’s a perfect set up.
A New Way
Zen Motivation changes all this. The need to bark orders and force yourself to do things doesn’t even arise in a Zen motivation state. Motivating yourself to do things, even unpleasant things, is a normal part of living and comes quite naturally when in a more Zen-like state, connected to the present moment. Do this exercise and see what I mean.
1. Consider one thing that you need to motivate yourself to do, such as exercise, pull weeds, meet with a difficult colleague, and so forth. If you can, write down the name of the task in the middle of a piece of paper (if you have a pen and paper).
2. Become aware how you would typically motivate yourself to do this and write down (if you can) the thoughts and feelings that come next. For example, “Get it done!” or “Let’s move!” or “I just have to get this done!” or “Come on, Mike!” or (feelings, too) “Tension in chest and shoulders.” Write freely for a minute or so and don’t censor yourself.
3. Just clear your mind for a few moments. Shake it off.
4. Forget everything and enter a more present, grounded state by tuning into a mundane sound, such as the sound of distant traffic, the hum of your computer (or the white noise of a fan, refrigerator, running water, etc…). Don’t do anything else or try to relax – just tune into the sound. Keep listening for a minute or more, until you feel settled.
5. When you feel more settled, reconsider the task you need to get done. Write it down on a clean sheet of paper and notice the thoughts and feelings that come to your mind and body. Do you notice the difference? In this more calm state, what words can you choose to gently motivate yourself? How much easier is it to avoid ordering yourself around while you are feeling more settled and connected to the outside world?
For managers, the key to motivating employees rests with the quality of the relationship – how well do they treat their employees? Likewise, the key to motivating yourself is correlated with how well you treat yourself. Zen motivation allows you to motivate yourself from a more grounded, connected state. When you do, your tendency to order yourself around will vanish and your productivity will increase. Best of all, you’ll be respecting yourself more.
Mike Bundrant is an NLP trainer with the iNLP Center. Visit iNLP for a free personal development mini course and learn more about the Zen Motivation Twitter Party.
Image courtesy of phoeric.
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Be the Rabbit with Focus
Almost everyone loves the story of the tortoise and the hare. It’s a classic.
I hate it!
It’s too limiting.
If everyone thinks of themselves at the tortoise, nothing would get done. Yes, I understand the story’s concept. If you stick with something you’ll win the marathon in the end.
The rabbit has the superpower of speed and that’s great, but like any great strength he lacks passion and focus. This is where I actually love the book.
Yes, I admit. I love the book too!
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How to Focus Your Thoughts and Accomplish Great Work
You may notice that it’s easier to enjoy a certain situation when in a good mood. You aren’t affected by problems as easily. This occurs because your focus is on something that keeps you happy.
Standing in line behind two young women, probably in their early twenties, at the grocery store and they were complaining about their boyfriends. Their groceries were on the conveyer belt waiting to be wrung up. They had bananas, a mango, strawberries, two types of cheeses and crackers. It looked like they were going to eat an amazing snack. They weren’t excited about this wonderful meal they were soon to make, but only worried about their awful boyfriends.
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5 Ways to Improve Your Attitude and Productivity
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Michelle of Wicked Whimsy.
At any give time, there are a great amount of people who are working their current job as a “day” job or a “right now” job, while they work on their dream job or passion projects on the side. I know I’ve done my share of this, and sometimes, it’s not easy! If you feel forced into your work arrangement, it can make you resentful, angry, and unproductive at work – which doesn’t do anyone any favors, since you’re spending most of your waking hours there! If this happens to you, try using the following tips to improve your attitude & productivity at your day job.
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How to Feel Good about Your Job
Editor’s Note: Lisa H. (aka RunningBear) is the founder of Getting to Zen
I can’t count the number of times that I have heard someone say “I hate my job”– Day after day, begrudgingly going to work repeating this mantra. But, if this thing called a “job” was taken away from them they wouldn’t have the means to pay for the things that they needed on a day-to-day basis (food, shelter, clothing). So isn’t it ironic that something like a “job” would be hated by so many people when it can bring them so many benefits.
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Thank You
I truly feel blessed to be me.
I know many people curse the Gods because they have cancer. Click here to read my story if you want to get updated. I some how don’t feel that way. In less than two weeks I’ve learned so many valuable lessons that I would have taken me 30 years to learn. I definitely would still be rushing to get to point B faster instead of enjoying the moment that I am in.
I also learned that love matters more than anything else. It doesn’t matter how much money a person has because love is the most important part of my life. I knew this before, but it never really sunk in until my diagnosis.
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How Cancer has Changed My Life
I was told by my urologist that there is a 98% chance that I have cancer. Even writing that sentence makes me feel sick to my stomach. The shock shakes me from my inside out.
I don’t know whether to go and cry or to be strong. I want to do both and I have tried both.
The hardest part of it all is not knowing how to handle my life. I feel like I’m in limbo.
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12 Prayers You Can Use to Boost Your Career
Do you pray before work?
I’m not sure how many of you believe in a higher power, but for those of you who do, you may want to make praying a daily habit.
I’m a very spiritual person, but not a religious person. I was raised Lutheran, self-taught Buddhist, Yogi, and mix in a few others and I’ve kind of developed my own spiritual practice. Lately I’ve been getting up a half hour earlier and practicing Yoga by candle light. It’s a totally awesome wake up experience when I can find the energy to do it.
After I’m done my Yoga practice I take two minutes to pray. It’s been a huge boost to my happiness and my productivity. My interactions with friends, family and strangers has been much more pleasant.
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How to Overcome a Lack of Confidence
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Tim Handorf of Best Colleges Online.
Have you ever found yourself facing an unfamiliar situation that seems impossible to resolve?
Have you ever felt as though your previous experiences and current skills haven’t sufficiently prepared you for this newest task?
I ask because I recently faced my toughest challenge yet, and I want to share with you what I did to persevere.
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How to Deal with the Daily Grind Between Now and the Holiday Season
Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Eileen Habelow of Randstad
Labor Day has come and gone and so has summer vacation. If you’re like most full-time employees you won’t have another break until Thanksgiving or perhaps even Christmas, and the thought of that three month stretch could be just short of terrifying.
But I have good news. The beginning of fall can feel like just that – a new beginning. Randstad’s latest Work Monitor survey shows that 73 percent of employees believe they perform noticeably better at work after they’ve had a few days off. That means even a short break such as long fall weekend could give you the jump start you need to stay motivated until the holidays, as long as you start it off right.
For generations people of all ages have struggled with the “back-to-school” grind that comes with fall, so why not adopt a few best practices that have worked for hundreds of people (regardless of age) around this time every year? Dive into a new “school” year armed with a few old-school habits.
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