Most of my earlier working life had been a struggle. I swung between complicated and simple perspectives, hardly ever straddling the middle. I was afraid to let go of my limited view because I thought that if I just simplified my work I would be happy. A simple life is good, but there will always be sadness, happiness, fear, and passion in every job.

“Life’s like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending.”
- Jim Henson quotes

The tool of imagination is one that we usually reserve for kids, but as adults we need to cultivate this skill because it’s so versatile. It helps us see life from a perspective that can make our lives enjoyable, peaceful, and interesting.

We like to keep our lives simple and pleasant. The problem with simple and pleasant is that our brains seek passion and excitement. That’s why people love to complete big projects. The stimulation brings the feeling of accomplishment.

When I’m at work and I’m having a rough day I imagine what I look like in the sweetest old lady’s eyes. I see this glow of love around me and this glow starts to penetrate into my heart, filling me with joy. This perspective usually picks me up and helps me see past my negative self view.

When I was fired from a job in my mid twenties I felt like crying in the managers office (I know I’m a big baby). I hugged him good bye (he was a good man, it was the owner that didn’t like me) and promptly went into a depression. I was lost for almost two months. I went on unemployment and rode around on my bicycle. It wasn’t until I hit my lowest point that my creativity finally kicked in. Love showed up in everything and everyone. The grocery store check out lady would smile at me. My parents helped me pay my rent. I felt like I was surrounded by love. I decided to write a book about how I found my joy. I turned my life into a story. That book spurred this blog and the rest of my life.

Your imagination is a tool that can help open doors to new parts of your life. Doors that will help you tap into the work passion that you need or just turn a bad day into an exciting learning experience. The best way to do this is to start off slowly because if you start too fast you might give up. I want you to slowly tap the mind for imaginative solutions to old problems. What do you struggle with on a daily basis? Who bothers you in your life? Try using your imagination to see a new angle. If that co-worker keeps hassling you, try to imagine that he had a rough childhood. Do you do monotonous work every day? Try imagining that you are a movie star playing the role of a lifetime. You’ll be amazed at how your imagination can improve almost any situation. You’ll bring a hop back in your step.

If a bad situation keeps popping up then your creativity will only take you so far. You are going to have to change the situation by find a new job or talking to human resources. But sometimes we just need to get lost in our imaginations to make the day a little more enjoyable. In my eyes, there is nothing wrong with that.

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I’ve attended meetings where I’ve embarrassed myself. There was one meeting in particular that sticks with me to this day. I was fresh out of college and working at my first full-time job. My attention wasn’t on topic when we were talking about marketing a new valve. I tried to insert an idea into the conversation and suggested we advertise on a certain site. Everyone glared at me as if I had just grown a second nose. My boss told me that I had better pay attention because that was just mentioned. I looked down at my notes and internally yelled at myself for being stupid.

My theory at the time was - the angrier I was at myself the less likely it was that I would make that same mistake. This technique wrecked my confidence. It took me over a month to recover from that incident. I couldn’t shake off the dread of opening my mouth in a meeting. I was terrified to make another mistake.

Kindness - The Greatest Tool for Mistakes

Since that first job I’ve learned to value being kind to myself when I make a mistake and have a lapse in judgment. I am now able to forgive my mistakes, which allows me to deal with the present. It’s a simple tool to add to your life, but one of the most difficult to implement. The best way to encourage kindness is to use your mistakes as an opportunity to improve. When you have enough awareness to acknowledge your mistake, you’ve accomplished the hardest part. All you have to do is find a few things that could make your mistake helpful.

If you recognize that you have a short attention span during meetings then try to stay active by taking notes, sipping on a drink or asking questions. If you mess up a report because you didn’t double check your work then don’t get mad at yourself; use this mistake to make the next report better. Being kind to yourself allows you to keep moving forward.

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”

- Conrad Hilton

There may be moments or days of weakness, but you should always come back to learning from your mistakes. At the end of each day, try forgiving yourself for any mistakes. Whether it be a silly comment or a major blunder, you’ll notice that when you cultivate kindness for your mistakes you can use them as support for a better life.

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It’s not positive thinking that makes people have a good outlook on life. It’s positive beliefs that build happy people. A person can think all the positive thoughts they want, but if they don’t truly believe them then they aren’t true for that person.

You’ve probably met people who are good at what they do and the only thing that matters is happiness. Whatever it is that made them confident goes to the core of their being. You’ve probably also met people who seem to be confident and content, but then you see their dark side. They lash out in a tough situation or maybe they give up right in the middle of a project. False confidence will always show it’s true face if you stick around long enough.

Real vs. False Truth

There is a big difference between real and false truth. They both look similar at the outset, but eventually it all flushes out.

There are many different kinds of fake confidence: covering an insecurity, trying to copy others, lack of talent and thousands of others.

There are many different kinds of real confidence: knowing and trusting choices, being creative and unique, talent, and thousands of others.

Real and false confidence are not easy to distinguish, but by watching and learning as people go along in their lives, you’ll see whether their beliefs come from their core or if it is just a façade. Some people have fooled me for many years. I had a boss that yelled at people when they weren’t doing a well and didn’t have any problems speaking his mind. At first I was impressed and tried to do my best, but after a few months his aura of confidence faded. It wasn’t anything he did differently; it just took a little observation to learn that he covered up his insecurities with yelling and micromanaging.

Real confidence comes from within a person and flows out naturally. It’s like a little kid who knows the answer to a test because she studied her butt off. The confidence just comes out because of all the hard work. The thing is many people can study hard and know all the answers, but they still don’t have the confidence to put themselves out there because they’re fearful of the consequences. They’re afraid to fail because the people around them will criticize their mistake. When a person is not afraid to make a mistake then true confidence will shine through. A mistake can be forgotten if done with good intentions, but a mistake out of fear is harder to forgive.

How do you cultivate true confidence?

By doing the best you can. That is all you and the world should ask. Only you know if you are doing your best. When I write these articles and blogs I’m putting all the effort and energy that I can into the work. Some are better than others and that’s just the fluctuation of being human. When I work on a report, I edit it once on my computer, print it out and edit it again, give it to a co-worker for inspection, and then read over it one last time so I know that it’s as clear and smooth as possible. I have gone overboard at times because I was feeling insecure and edited the report into the ground. On the other side, there have been times I haven’t taken the time to edit a report as thoroughly as I should because I was too confident.

Confidence is a daily balance that you’ll have to find as you go along in any business or personal relationship. The best way to develop your true confidence is by being compassionate and patient with whatever you are doing. Compassion will allow you to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Patience will help you learn from your mistakes and make the next try a little better.

I lacked confidence in my ability to speak publicly (that’s why I joined Toastmasters and I’ve improved by leaps and bounds, but still need more work); investing the family’s money (and again I’m not afraid to do it, but I’m learning by reading and talking to professionals); designing a good blog (and once again, I’m working on my skills); meditating well (I practice everyday); designing a great advertisement (I’m always looking at magazines for inspiration) and there are so many more things that I could improve, like playing the guitar and dancing. But I must tackle a few things at a time. When I spread myself too thin I get frustrated.

I’m confident in many areas like my marriage, my ability to write a well thought out idea, my smile, my conversation ability, laughing at a good joke, making a good joke, creating new ways to reach new customers and many other things. I may be confident in all these things, but I am still improving on a daily basis. We must always keep improving our skills, even the most basic things like writing a good email. When we improve in one area that we already feel comfortable in then we realize how we can always keep growing.

“If you are called to be a street sweeper, sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”
- Martin Luther King

There are only so many things that you can be good at and perform with confidence, so pick your battles and knock them down one by one. I have my list of things that I’m looking to build my confidence in. What’s on your list?

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