Sometimes the boss stresses you out and other times it’s a co-worker who’s a bully, but no matter what it is you must face it in order to relieve the anxiety that a difficult situation creates. Dumb Little Man wrote an excellent article, How to Deal with a Workplace Bully. I’ve had mild cases of being bullied. Some people just like to push themselves on to you. They might not even realize that they are making you feel uncomfortable. Try talking to them and making them aware of how they are acting and most likely they will stop. If they don’t, then try reading this article and see if you can use some of his tips.

Bullying is a deliberate attempt to control or undermine you. It typically happens over a prolonged period of time and it can severely damage your self esteem and confidence. It can be subtle or overt. It can take place in private or in front of others. The circumstances can vary greatly from person to person. Here are some examples of bullying behavior at work:

A co-worker or supervisor constantly complains to other team members that you aren’t pulling your weight. They make jokes at your expense and accuse you of making mistakes you haven’t made. In private they constantly belittle, insult and even threaten you. You feel frightened, angry, ashamed and embarrassed.

Most of our stress doesn’t come from the work itself; it’s the people who we are involved with that cause our stress. Please be aware of how other people are making you feel, and if they aren’t treating you right then stand up for yourself or find help.

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Create a plan and you’ll relieve your worry. When you have a lot on your mind you probably try to over think the situation. However, worrying only creates more confusion.

Planning helps create internal balance. When you’re stressed out, organizing your thoughts is the best way to get yourself back on track.

Step 1: Understand your worry

Step back, take a deep breath and look at the situation objectively. Make a mental or actual list of everything that is causing you stress. Let’s say that you are afraid you might lose your job because of cutbacks. You’re worried that you’ll lose your source of income. That’s understandable and should create a little stress, but you know there is money to be made in every industry. Use that stress to formulate your plan.

Step 2: Create a plan

Now that you’ve figured out what the problem is you can create a plan of action. Give yourself at least two or three options, this way if one fails or you need more choices, you are covered.

Write out your plan. For example:

• Update your resume
• Connect with old contacts
• Search the web for jobs

And you’re back on track to creating the career you desire.

Step 3: Execute your plan

Many people create a plan, but are afraid to execute it. They feel overwhelmed by the process. That’s why you wrote out the list and why you should start by tackling the easiest thing on it. Start out slow, then gradually allow your actions to build and gain momentum. Before you know it you’ll be out on an interview, creating your own career instead of leaving your life in the hands of someone that probably doesn’t care about you.

Stress is dictated by how you perceive a certain situation. If you look at the possibility of losing your job as an opportunity to find something that you truly love then you won’t be stressed out, you’ll be excited. You’ll harness this excitement and find the job that you deserve.

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Many of us put all our stress in one basket. We rely on our jobs to fulfill our needs. And when something at work goes wrong, it feels like the whole world is falling apart. Like any great investor will tell you, you need to diversify yourself. If you were going to invest in the stock market, you wouldn’t put all your money in technology stocks because it’s too volatile. When you invest your energy into your life, you’re bound to get stressed out if you don’t have anything to fall back on.

Diversifying your life will help you reduce your stress. You’ll be taking all your energy out of one basket and putting it into two, three, or five baskets. You can easily do this by focusing on other parts of your life. Many of you may be thinking that if you diversify yourself too much then you won’t be able to focus on anything for long enough to enjoy it. It’s a valid concern, but easily refuted.

In the process of finishing this article I read a similar themed blog, How to Be Happier with What You Have from Scott H. Young at Lifehack.org. It’s really amazing how people can be on the same level in separate parts of the world.

Don’t Put All Your Eggs in One Basket

Investors understand that diversification keeps one bad fall from ruining you financially. Keeping your interests diversified, ensures that one slip won’t make you miserable. Tying your entire life into only one area isn’t just obsessive, it’s dangerous.

Life balance has become a bit of a cliche. Balance implies a weak compromise where efforts are juggled. But the alternative to balance doesn’t need to be obsession. Having several areas of focus at a time will help smooth out the fluctuations in your experience. Pick 3-5 things that are critical for you and a dozen more you feel are important.

If you become too dependent on one thing to fulfill your needs, then you are at risk of allowing that one thing to dictate your emotional well-being.

Do you believe that driving for thirty minutes to spend thirty minutes eating lunch with a good friend is a waste of time?

If you really like the friend, you’ll probably be willing to stretch your comfort zone to get some quality time. If you didn’t like them you wouldn’t reach as far to be outgoing and pleasant. That’s all it takes to diversify your stress - Giving attention to things in your life that you care about. The hard part is getting yourself to spread out your attention to parts of your life that have played lesser roles.

Family and hobbies are the best stress relievers because you can get lost in them and you probably won’t worry about work problems. I don’t know many parents that don’t get caught up in an extracurricular activity that their child is involved in. It’s natural to forget about all your work worries and get swept away in how wonderful the child is. Making that extra effort helps balance out all the worries that seemed so important before you saw your child’s excited expression.

If you are a stay at home parent, you need to diversify your attention toward rewarding hobbies. I know a few parents whose lives revolve around their kids and this doesn’t help create a healthy relationship. They depend on their kid’s happiness to make them happy. Children are going to have rough days and they need guidance, so help them learn to deal with the problem they’ve created. When your child has a problem, ask them what they think the solution could be. If possible, let them figure out how to solve their own problem. After you’ve directed their mind toward a solution, then take a break and read a magazine or maybe enjoy another hobby that gives you pleasure.

Work has constant fluctuations of stress, whether you work in an office, daycare, retail, or you’re a stay at home parent. When a moment becomes overwhelming, take a few minutes to yourself as soon as you can. The bathroom is a great place to take a time out and remind yourself about something good in your life. When the moment is over, schedule a “me time” breather later in the day. You should remember that you will always need time to yourself to unwind and relax your tension.

You can learn to balance out your stress by diversifying your focus. It takes time and a little effort to steer your thoughts toward other subjects, but the more you work at it the more you’ll see your stress level decrease. If you are struggling with one part of your life then you still have two, three or five other things to enjoy.

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