“Recreate yourself in and through your environment and shape the resulting atmosphere until it is yours.”
- Alexander Becker

A good friend of mine has a father who makes friends instantly by getting people involved. When John speaks with you, he looks you in the eye. He laughs easily and doesn’t mind letting you dominate the conversation. He’ll talk about sports, politics, religion, barbeque, video games, and relationships because he knows that you want to talk about what interests you. He doesn’t force the conversation around what he knows, but allows it to move where it naturally wants to go.

All of his wonderful social attributes help him create his environment, but this isn’t the reason for his success. What makes John special is his ability to allow his natural personality to engage others. He’s not afraid of you; he wants to get to know you better. He wants to love you.

He figures out a way to love you by giving his attention to you. Everyone responds to someone that shows interest in who they are. The first time I ever met him, I knocked on his front door, he opened it then smiled and said, “Welcome!” With such enthusiasm that you couldn’t help but feel loved. “I’ve heard so much about you. Please come in.”

He didn’t have any fear. He welcomed me into his home like I was an old friend. I instantly liked him.

I thought about why he didn’t have any fear. How was he able to generate such a loving feeling from me? The answer was in him. He didn’t have any fear because he knew that I would like him. And I did. He didn’t have any fear because it didn’t matter whether I liked him or not, all that mattered to him was that he extended his friendship to me. It was up to me to accept.

As I’ve watched him operate over the past couple of years, I’ve noticed that he’s never afraid to give his opinion because he believes in it. He has reasons to back up his choices, but doesn’t fight for them. If someone doesn’t agree with him, he doesn’t care if you are on his side because he accepts your feelings and enjoys the discussion.

John is able to create his environment because he takes pleasure in the people he’s with. He never worries about what you are thinking because he can’t change that. He is who he is because he accepts himself and you accept him because it feels right.

You can create your own environment wherever you go if you use John’s techniques:

1. Give yourself to others.

(When you give your love and attention to other people they will reflect it back to you. Most people are like mirrors waiting to see how you treat them before they decide how they will treat you.)

2. Stop worrying about what other people think of you.

(When you trust yourself you’ll stop worrying about other people’s judgments.)

3. Let your personality shine out.

(If people aren’t enjoying the real you then you aren’t giving them a chance to love you.)

By applying these techniques, you can create the work atmosphere that makes you the happiest. When you are happy the people around you will feed off of your positive actions, helping to make work fun.

Related Articles:

• Renew Your Thoughts to Improve Your Work Outlook
• Use Your Imagination
• Positive Belief

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Steve Pavlina wrote an article “How to Be a Man.” At first I was like whatever. You can’t put us all in a little box. As I read I understood his reasoning for his article. He wanted us to understand our true potential. He wrote about what all men are really capable of being if they let go of their fear. All of us actually put ourselves in a box. We try to define who we are by what we’ve accomplished when in reality we are so much more.

Some of the women do this at my work. They play the role that society puts on them. There are many that I’ve met that have broken through and they’ve become their own women. They aren’t afraid of who they are. They act from their values and make smart choices.

Steve Pavlina asked his fellow bloggers to write “How to Be a Woman.” I might not have as much insight as a woman, but I can shed light on the topic since my CEO is a woman and most of my co-workers are women.

Here are 8 ways to live consciously as a woman at work:

1. Be Compassionate

Women have an innate ability to have compassion for others. It’s why so many of them make great bosses. They understand when their employees are having a bad day and they let them know that they are there to help. They give positive reinforcement, letting their staff know that they are cared for by their co-workers and the company. It makes the employee/co-worker feel more secure in his or her position at work and it’s a great motivator to get them back on track.

2. Feel Sexy

Women are sexual creatures and they know it. When they hide from their sexuality they are telling their co-workers that they are afraid to be a woman. Let me make this clear. Yes, there are women who flaunt their sexuality with way too much exposed flesh and constant sexual hints. That’s not sexy; it’s gross. Sexiness can be as simple as a smile or a brush back of the hair. They don’t flaunt what they have, but they embrace their sexuality.

3. Encourage Others

A woman likes to help others become better at their jobs. A woman who creates an environment of encouragement for others will be successful. She knows that when she picks up the people around her it makes her job easier as well as more enjoyable.

4. Laugh When It’s Funny

A woman doesn’t just laugh at a joke because a superior makes it. She laughs when she thinks the joke is funny. She doesn’t want to make the person who told the joke feel bad so she’ll acknowledge the try, but won’t fake a laugh. A fake laugh is disingenuous.

5. Help Others

A woman understands the social cues of a good work environment. She is willing to help others without receiving help in return, but she also knows the benefits involved in helping her co-workers. She wants others to help her when she is struggling and the only way to do that is to extend a helping hand first.

6. Appreciate Mistakes

Mistakes are natural, especially in a fast-paced work environment. She isn’t afraid to tell someone that they made a mistake and they need to correct it or watch for it next time. She doesn’t do this maliciously or in fear, but for the other person’s own good. She understands that helping others to improve will make the company better.

7. Support Other Co-workers

A woman will back up her co-worker or staff when a client or customer is treating them badly. There is nothing wrong with constructive criticism, but berating someone in front of a group is wrong. It doesn’t matter if it’s the richest client that the company has. A company’s staff is more important than money.

8. Share Good Fortune

A woman who receives a bonus because her staff has outperformed expectations will share the wealth with them. They are the reason she looks competent to her bosses so she wants to show her appreciation for their hard work. Her staff deserves to feel good about their hard work, which creates loyalty.

The How to Be a Woman at Work can apply to everyday life, too. Working happy is the theme of my site, so I didn’t want to stray too far off topic. Next week I will post a blog about “How to Be a Man at Work.”

If this article offended anyone, I won’t apologize. This blog was meant to praise women in the workplace. If you can’t see the improvements women are making in the work environment then you aren’t looking hard enough. Women are making the workplace more enjoyable and compassionate than it was way back in the male-dominated work environment. It’s been a slow process, but meaningful change often takes time.

If you enjoyed the article and hope to read more like it then check out my archives section or subscribe to my daily Work Happy Now feed and see if there are some tips that you can use to improve your job. You’ll probably be pleasantly surprised by an article that may help you enjoy work just a little more. Enjoying work is something that should be at the top of all our “To Do” lists, so pick an article and give it a go.

If this article doesn’t get linked to by Steve then so be it, but I still want to thank Steve and Erin for sparking a little creativity. Let me know what you think of the topic in the comment section, and I hope to hear from the smart women and men who I know want to leave a comment.

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We can’t always be feeling great, smiling at every customer and co-worker as we tackle every job with robot-like efficiency. We are human and our emotions fluctuate. Right now I don’t feel like writing, but my fingers and mind keep on going, so I continue for my future, to help you, and because tomorrow I will be glad that I pushed another good article out. That’s right I’m not working happy, but I’m doing my best with what I’ve got.

Now you know the truth. I’m not always working happy. Please don’t tell your friends.

We all have bad days and sometimes we need to fake it. Seth Godin is a blogging wunderkind. Okay, I guess he isn’t that young but he’s a great blogger at any rate. He wrote an article Pretending that you care that has some great insight.

No, you can’t always hire exceptional people for these jobs. No, you can’t always invest enough time to train them sufficiently. But yes, you can make, “pretending you care,” a barely acceptable alternative.

It doesn’t take much to take the edge off an encounter.

[Boy does this sound cynical. How inauthentic! How manipulative! Isn’t it better to just hire people who actually care? Of course it is. But as far as I can tell, that’s a lot harder than it looks–because so many organizations are organized around policies, not caring, and because so many employees have been trained not to care.

So, the essence of the lesson here is this: if people start out pretending to care, next thing you know, they actually do care. They like the positive feedback and they like the way being kind makes them feel. It spreads. It sticks.]

Read the whole article here.

Sometimes we need to fake it to get to where we need to be. I know that you don’t always feel like working on that boring project, writing that last email of the day, or calling one more sales lead, but no one wants you to pack it in because you don’t feel like doing it. Your company wants you to fake it like any good professional.

What was the last thing you faked? I’m not talking about what goes on in your bedroom. I’m wondering when was the last time you faked your happiness on the job and eventually became happy.

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Alltop’s Purpose

We help you explore your passions by collecting stories from “all the top” sites on the web. We’ve grouped these collections — ”aggregations” — into individual Alltop sites based on topics such as environment, photography, science, celebrity gossip, fashion, gaming, sports, politics, automobiles, and Macintosh. At each Alltop site, we display the latest five stories from thirty or more sites on a single page — we call this “single-page aggregation.”

You can think of an Alltop site as a “dashboard,” “table of contents,” or even a “digital magazine rack” of the Internet. To be clear, Alltop sites are starting points — they are not destinations per se. The bottom line is that we are trying to enhance your online reading by both displaying stories from the sites that you’re already visiting and helping you discover sites that you didn’t know existed. In this way, our goal is the “cessation of Internet stagnation.”

I have officially become a valued source to the work happy industry. I know that to become a self actualized person I shouldn’t need validation from outside sources, but I can’t help it. The inclusion of my blog feed into their site makes me proud.

So take a look around and see if you can discover any other great sites. My recommendations would be…

1. Brazen Careerist by Penelope Trunk
2. Escape from Cubicle Nation
3. Passion, People and Principles
4. Three Star Leadership Blog
5. The Chief Happiness Officer

There are so many great sites and I hate to pick only a few, but I wanted to give you a head start. So check them out and be impressed, and If you don’t want to miss any more of the action from Work Happy Now then subscribe to my blog feed and get your daily work happiness fix.

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Oh yeah! I almost forgot, it was pointed out to me that my Google PageRank is at a 5. The scale goes from 1 being low to 9 being so crazy good that it makes you pee your pants. Being at a 5 in less than 3 months is pretty good. I want to thank everyone who has left a comment. When you join in with the conversation it makes this blog 10x better. Just think, when this site explodes you’ll be able to say you were there from the beginning. Okay maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself, but that’s what this site is all about – living your work dreams. Thanks, now it’s back to work leaving comments, editing my next blog, and online networking.

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• Communication

• Retention of Employees

• Motivating Their Staff

It’s not any easier working in Iceland than it is in America, India, or Australia.

They are paid three times as much as we are paid in America, but they also pay three times as much for their food, gas, and other necessities. It really all balances out. It’s amazing how a free market does that.

Icelanders live very similar to middle class Americans. They live in average size homes and have extra spending money for the movies, a night out, or mini lobsters, lamb, fresh fruit, and a myriad of other wonderful foods.

My uncle works for an Icelandic computer company and he has a work hiking group that he hangs out with every week. This promotes healthiness and camaraderie. I know that we have these clubs in almost every big company. So why are Icelanders working happy?

I believe the culture of their happiness comes from how they treat each other.

They tease each other and aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves. You may wonder, how does this make them happier? When you can laugh at yourself or a co-worker it eases the tension. They don’t hold on to these emotions. They let it go and just move on to the next part of their day. I know not all Icelanders are this way, but many of them are able to laugh off the stress.

I recently wrote a post called Inside Out Shirt Day. At first I wasn’t sure if I should publish it because I might look like a boob. After a minute of running it through my mind I decided to go for it because I’m not perfect and we should understand that mistakes are a part of work. We should learn from these mistakes, but also be able to laugh at them, so it doesn’t feel like the world is going to come crashing down on us.

I know most of us are capable of enjoying a good laugh at other people’s expense, so next time a co-worker makes fun of you, don’t get upset. Why not laugh with them? You’ll be harnessing your inner Viking. Just put your ego aside for that moment and let out that laugh. Just maybe you’ll feel like a working happy Icelander.

What was the last mistake that embarrassed you? Come on, you know you want to share.

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There are many ways to work happy, but some days can feel like a torture rack, pulling every last bit of joy out of you.

Meetings are a major culprit to unhappiness at work. We can’t all be like Timothy Ferriss of the 4 Hour Work Week and not attend. So what tools do you have that can improve the meetings you must attend?

The Daily Mind wrote a great post about finding happiness in a meeting. He wrote about board meetings, but I think this can apply to almost any meeting you attend.

1. Don’t say a single word

2. Get interested

3. Don’t go

4. Meditate

He wrote a short paragraph on each, but my favorite little gem was from – Get Interested.

…take a bit of an interest in the meeting it can become a wonderful opportunity to make some changes around the office. If you present things in the right way you can often get the ball rolling on something exciting and new.

Almost everyone I know can get a little more involved in improving their company. It may be something as simple as organizing a gathering at the local pub or coffee shop, but whatever it is you’ll feel more engaged. An engaged you is a happier you. A friend told me that. I thought it was a little cheesy, but as you can see it stuck with me.

I would add one more to his list.

5. Take breaks

When you take the time to go to the bathroom or grab a drink you can readjust your thinking. When I’m out of the room I like to think of one thing that I am enjoying about the meeting. Maybe it’s someone’s new mustache that needs to be shaved or the fruit platter. There is always some little thing that attracts your interest besides the material at hand.

Meetings should also be a great place to get things done. If you don’t like how people are sharing ideas or not sharing ideas then speak up. You should try to make these meetings as useful as possible, to you as well as the people you are sharing this time with.

What is your biggest pet peeve about your meetings?

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You may be thinking this, but if you look down deep at when you are the happiest at work it’s probably when you are most productive. I love attending outside events because it gets me out of the office. I meet the people that are already customers or potentially new contacts. There is just something special about face to face meetings that email, telephone, and video conferencing can’t replace. I also feel like I’m making a difference at my job. I know that if I’m talking the good talk that people will come in and use our services.

At the end of the day I’m more tired, but I feel more satisfied. I can also feel this way when working on a report. The day just seems to fly by and I look up and it’s time to go home. I’m usually relaxed and feel a sense of accomplishment.

I read a great article from Doug Kline. He wrote a guest post called Employees Want More Work? (Not Less?) at the Performance and Talent Management blog.

My favorite part was…

Employees who are bored (reporting “too little work”) are often doing work for which they are ill-suited, or have jobs that are poorly designed. As a result, they have by far lower job satisfaction, sense of accomplishment, and pride in their employers compared to all other workers. All in all, they feel less valued.

Read the whole article here.

If your job isn’t what you want it to be then speak up. Try to give feedback to your manager and see how they respond. You probably don’t want to start off with outrageous demands of running the department, but you could start by asking for a job that you’ve been wanting to do for a while. It never hurts to ask.

I have a friend who loves to help her co-workers out when her work is slow. She stops by their desks and asks if they can give her a little something to lighten their work load.

You should see their face when she asks to help them. They just light up.

One might worry that this would be an invitation for people to dump all their work on her, but no one ever does that. They usually give her something really easy and she is able to help a couple of people in the office with their work.

Has a co-worker ever asked to help you with your work? How did you respond?

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The new guard, as I like to call it, seems to be popular throughout the football league. These forward thinking coaches use many techniques to will their players to their best. Tony Dungy is at the forefront of this movement. He believes that you don’t need to yell and scream to get your point across. Football players are people who want to be treated with respect and kindness.

Jason Garrett’s 8 lessons of leadership:

1. He talked about coaching Terrell Owens, a future Hall of Fame receiver, who is known to be a difficult player. He said that he told him (a Hall of Fame receiver) and the rest of the team that no matter who was on the field they would be coached.

Lesson – Learn from everyone around you because there is always something to improve.

2. Give people purpose. Tell people their role and recognize them for their work.

Lesson – We all need to feel appreciated.

3. When I’m on the field and my team is exhausted I go out there and become a cheerleader. I let them know whether they have cool shoes or if they are doing a good job working their butt off.

Lesson – Create a positive atmosphere by being a cheerleader when someone is having a bad day.

4. Success is 54% body language, 40% tone of voice, and 6% words. I don’t know how Jimmy Johnson got those numbers, but it explains why he was able to create such a passionate team. When he spoke to us he got us excited and ready to win.

Lesson – Use your body and voice to convey confidence.

5. Even if you think they are dragging their feet and breathing hard, you can always tell them that oxygen is good for the soul, so keep up the good work.

Lesson – Someone is always doing something right. Recognize that and give them positive feedback.

6. When looking to bring someone new on to your team make sure you look at his character. You can’t teach character, but you can teach competency

Lesson – Hire motivated people.

7. Nick Saban the great college coach always told us, “Tell me when we are making a mistake, so we can fix it.” Every time I or one of the other coaches told him something that we were doing wrong, he would bite our heads off. (laughing) It was always one of the most uncomfortable moments to be in.

Lesson – Make sure you follow your own advice otherwise no one will be willing to help you.

8. Tony Romo (Quarterback for Dallas) told me that he wanted to run a “Three wide split.” I thought to myself that is the stupidest play. Their defense is perfectly designed to stop that. I wasn’t sure what to call because it was something like 3^rd and 20, so I called it. Tony looked back at me and I could tell he was smiling. The throw went to Owens and he scored a touchdown.

Lesson - Let people do what they think is right because they’ll make it happen.

My co-worker wasn’t as enthused by the football references, but as Jason continued to speak he won her over. She was impressed by his talk. We can learn about working happy from anyone if we just take a moment to listen and put their words into action.

Does anyone have any good sports references that can be applied to working happier?

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The Smurfs are great role models because they understood how to work happy. They had many great traits that every company would love to have.

1. They worked as a team

They knew that they couldn’t do it all alone, so they came together to fight off Gargamel (the bad guy who wanted to eat them). They gathered all their collective intelligence and got the job done.

2. Papa Smurf made quick decisions

Everyone would look to Papa Smurf to assess the situation and make a quick, but thoughtful decision. More CEOs should watch some Smurfs to see how Papa Smurf kept everyone calm. Wouldn’t it be cool to see Bill Gates or Larry Page watching the Smurfs before they left for work?

3. They always look on the bright side

The Smurfs always landed into trouble, like all good cartoons. They never thought that they couldn’t escape a situation, except for Brainy. He always thought they were doomed, but his negativity never rubbed off on the other Smurfs because they knew that they had to stay positive to get back to the village safely.

4. They laughed, sang and danced

They were always celebrating. This cool article about celebrating was written by Tom Volkar at Delightful Work. We need to celebrate our wins and flops. Yes our flops too, so we never forget the mistakes we made. Check out my post about creating a monthly fun plan to keep spirits high.

5. Every Smurf had his role, but was always willing to pitch in.

Every Smurf understood his/her strengths. Papa Smurf was the leader, Brainy was smart, and Handy was able to build anything, but no matter what they were involved in - they were never afraid to chip in and help each other to get the job done.

Next time you are stuck in a difficult situation ask yourself, “What would Papa Smurf do?”

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Wouldn’t we all like to see what our boss looks like naked? Even the ones that aren’t that beautiful would still be intriguing. I’m not talking about seeing them in their birthday suit. I’m talking about seeing them emotionally naked. I know that I would love to be a fly on the wall when my boss is talking to her best friend.

You will probably never get your boss to talk to you like she talks to her best friend, but you can create a relationship that’s based on trust. This trust will create appreciation for you, and the more your boss appreciates you the more enjoyable your work experience will be.

Times have changed from thirty years ago when everyone wanted to keep their emotions out of the work place. Back then employees were paid to do a job while keeping their mouth shut. It was before my time, but I’ve heard plenty of stories. Employees used to trust the company to take care of them, but as our culture changes we need to take a more active role in making sure that we are cared for.

Creating a more intimate relationship with your boss will encourage your boss to be honest with you. You could find out privileged information that might let you know that you need to start looking for a new job because of layoffs, or information that might help you get a promotion. On the other hand, if you have a cold relationship with your boss you will most likely get the short end of the promotion.

I’m not condoning politicking your way to the top, but I am saying you should create a genuine relationship with your boss. Some people call it brown nosing, but I think we need to redefine it. There are different levels of brown nosing and the authentic kind is the one we need to embrace. I don’t think it’s sucking up if you are honest and smart with your compliments, questions, and conversations.

Talk to your boss or manager without being intimidated by their stature. They are human like you and me. They have their weaknesses and strengths. The more you understand this the easier it will be to create a solid relationship.

Some bosses don’t like a lot of talk about family, but maybe he enjoys car racing. Just because you don’t understand your boss’s interests doesn’t mean you can’t talk about him. So poke around with questions and comments and see how he reacts. Maybe you’ll find common ground between the two of you. Once you do you’ll make your relationship more open and naked, right where you need it to be to get the most out of your job.

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