Did you know that elephants travel the same long journey every year?

They do. They do it because they know when the fruit will falls from the trees, so they can eat them when they are perfectly fermented and able to get a little tipsy. I forget the name of the kind of African elephant that does this, but believe me it’s true.

They only do this once a year because they have the discipline to appreciate the moment then move on.

Getting Unstuck

So many of us get stuck back in our habits and forget the power of gratitude. We forget that every moment there is a chance to appreciate where we are, what we are doing, and who we are with.

No career is perfect. No life is perfect. I’m prime example of that after discovering I have testicular cancer. I refuse to capitalize cancer because it doesn’t deserve it.

Every day there is a chance for me to see the “lousy” that is in my life, but I refuse to do this. I practice being the captain of my attitude.

Riding a Elephant

Your attitude can be like an unruly elephant, tossing you 10 feet in the air. It’s up to you to get back on, grab those reigns, and ride that beautiful beast until it gives in.

You have to practice gratitude at every chance you can remember.

> When you are stuck on an airplane that won’t take off due to weather.

> When the baby next to you is screaming its little red face off.

> When your Uncle is telling the worst Thanksgiving joke ever.

> When your back won’t stop aching.

> During the night when you can’t fall asleep and you have a huge day ahead of you.

> After your boss yells at you for messing up an account.

> When a client won’t call you back and you have no idea what you did wrong.

You have to practice when it’s the hardest because the more you practice the easier it gets. When you appreciate the moment you are making it easier to improve your situation.

No situation is perfect, but there is beauty always hidden within it if you try to find it.

When you are feelings down and there are hidden things to be grateful for. Remember that the elephant moves on and so should you. Focus back on those things that you enjoy.

Just like the elephant travels it’s journey so do you. Know that with every season is a new chance to improve your attitude and make it easier to be happier in your career and personal life.

The Takeaway

The best way to improve your attitude is to make gratitude a daily habit. At the end of each day think of all the great people, actions, and feelings you’ve had. It’s there somewhere. I promise.

Your Turn

I would love if you had 1 minute to share what you are grateful for today in the comment section. Remember it can be anything. We aren’t here to judge, just support.

Happy Thanksgiving!

* Need a boost to your work happiness? Then check out the Happy at Work Project and start one yourself.

* An amazing post on Gratitude over at Jeff Walker’s blog – The discipline of gratitude. Quality stuff. It encouraged me to post this piece.

If you enjoyed this post then you will probably like these too:

> One Sentence Work Journal

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Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Phil LeNir of CoachingOurselves.com. As many of you noticed I’ve been writing more from a personal view of careers and personal development. I published this piece on organizational development because anyone can apply these concepts to their business and life.

There are a lot of management development training programs out there. They help managers and employees to improve their skill sets and become better at what they do.

But what if there was a way to apply self-help concepts to the corporate world? What if managers could train each other, learn through discussions, and be inspired by stimulating material?

Keep reading to find out how we found ourselves doing exactly that.

Let’s go back to the beginning…

We had just hit rock bottom. After three rounds of layoffs, the company off-shored our software development to Eastern Europe, and our competitor acquired us.

That sounds pretty dire doesn’t it? We knew we needed to do something to boost morale and we needed a solution that didn’t cost much. We literally had no time, no money, and we were expected to change quickly.

Luckily when I approached professor Henry Mintzberg, the author of several management development books, he had an idea. He suggested I read his book “Managers not MBAs” and one sentence from this book still sticks with me today:

“Thoughtful reflection on natural experience, in the light of conceptual ideas, is the most powerful tool we have for management learning.”

So instead of having more crisis meetings, planning meetings, and status meetings… my team and I got together for a learning meeting with the goal of making things better.

During that first meeting we made the objective to learn something new about management, and to reflect on our own experience in light of conceptual ideas. If it worked, then we’d do it again.

There was one caveat: I didn’t want people to come to these meetings to talk about grand ideas on how to change things, but leave without intending to put anything into practice.

I didn’t want to fall into the self-help trap of talking about our feelings but not doing anything about them.

During the weekends I worked on the content of the sessions, by editing and crafting the material that Henry Mintzberg and his colleagues had put together for their Masters level management courses. It included lots of provocative questions and exercises to get the meetings to stimulate change.

Amazingly, it worked.

These meetings created a space where our team could come together to make important management decisions, to bond, and to help each other grow.

Suddenly, we weren’t the head of engineering talking to the head of QA anymore. We were simply human beings doing their best to get on with the job of managing, solving problems, and making things happen.

The Result?

We started coming up with new initiatives on both small and large scales that we actually following through on. You can probably relate to meetings where lots of ideas are discussed but nothing ever comes of them.

This was different because we came up with simple changes in a safe environment that fostered collaboration between managers.

Once we started taking action, we saw the time we spent in these meetings differently. This is how I marketed the meetings to my team (because really, who wants to attend more meetings when there is so little time to begin with):

“We all spend some 50+ hours a week running around making things happen, and doing things. Imagine if we spent 1 hour a week talking about what’s going on, reflecting on experiences around our current management challenges, and discussing what we could do to make things better, all stimulated by some really cool management topics developed by some of the best thinkers in the world? Then we could run around making things happen for the other 49 hours. Do you think we might get more done during the 49 hours than the original 50 hours?”

We had stumbled upon management development that really works. And it was just a matter of opening up to each other, putting our heads together, and then taking action. This was like reading a great self-help book, doing all of the exercises, and actually living differently. Wow!

The Three Step Formula

Now it’s time for you to take action with these ideas in your own organization.

Here’s the simple 3-step formula:

Step 1. Schedule a meeting with fellow managers and team members to discuss the issues that are most pressing. If we’re talking about case studies, or potential situations it’s not application and no one will get anything out of it. Make it relevant, make it actionable.

Step 2. Find some materials that relate to the issues at hand: strategic theories, advice for office politics, models of communication between silos and slabs. Once you’ve got some stimulating material, tease some questions out of it to act as starting points during your meeting.

Step 3. During the meeting allow everyone a chance to voice their opinions, and take notes on the interesting ideas that bubble up. Make the meeting a safe place for people to share their experience as managers, to come together to explore new ways of solving problems together. Then after the meeting, follow up by taking action on the new ideas.

What will this three-step process do that a self-help book won’t? It will get you talking to other people who share a similar background; it will boost morale, and make your entire operation run much smoother.

This works because companies are made up of people, not cogs. Unless we take the time to talk about things, we’re going to keep running around inefficiently.

How You Can Apply This to Your Work

It’s simple, put together a few questions to help you and some team members mastermind together.

Then set aside some uninterrupted time to discuss. It might take a few minutes before everyone warms up to each other and begins to share the deep stuff within. The first few meetings might be focused more on surface issues.

Over time you will see that having these types of candid conversations, and knowing that everyone else is in the same boat together, can really transform the way you live your life and lead your team.

So go ahead, I challenge you to give this “self-help for managers” idea a try. It may seem overly simple, but why complicate things when there’s an inexpensive solution at hand that works?

Let us know what you think in the comments! I’d love to see what kinds of results people get from this!

Phil LeNir developed CoachingOurselves following a new approach to management education implemented in the International Masters Program in Practicing Management. As Executive Director at CoachingOurselves, Phil is working to bring this approach to management development to organizations worldwide. Follow Phil and CoachingOurselves on twitter.

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* Join over 1,100 people who have already subscribed to the FREE 10 part E-Course on Leveraging Your Superpowers. Learn how to discover and leverage your superpowers so you can do amazing work. (Sign up is in the top left corner)

* When we are trying to create a career/business of our dreams we can get lost in the work. Jonathan Fields wrote brilliant piece dissecting why a well known blogger gave up blogging. We have to know our needs so we know how to grow our brand and income.

If you enjoyed this post then you will probably like these too:

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Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

“One should not respond to circumstance with artificial and “wooden” prearrangement. Your action should be like the immediacy of a shadow adapting to its moving object. Your task is simply to complete the other half of the oneness spontaneously.”
- Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee was a mental and physical juggernaut.  So many think of him as just a physical freak who could perform amazing feats of acrobatics, but to reach these levels he needed to know every inch of his body and soul. This applies to you because the only way you will optimize your work happiness is through the love of self discovery. 

When your emotions run amok because a big fat project gets dumped in your lap then it’s your task to find that emotional oneness (complete the other half) that allows you to stay happy. Our relationships dictate our happiness. If we have a great relationship with ourselves, the people in our lives, and our work, we will be happy. Adaptibility is the antidote to difficult changes.

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I joined Ittybiz’s membership based coaching program to help me get to the next level. Naomi is a genius at marketing and it’s my weakness, so it’s a great fit.

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One of my favorite videos is You Are Awesome.

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I wanted to share a common career problem that a Work Happy Now reader, Casey, presented to me last week.

Casey said:

The company I work for changed Presidents and now there is no known direction or leadership on the changes that are going on. We are being required to take training courses which will not be used for work. I am back-logged and I feel total frustration.

I followed up with:

What type of training are they putting you through if it’s not for work?

Casey replied:

Computer software programs. To be perfectly honest with you, the foundation has been dysfunctional for a few years. This is just manifesting into more frustration and unhappiness.

My answer:

A President change is equivalent to a manager change in baseball, more cosmetic than a real personality change. Over time the President will eventually put his/her stamp on the organization so try not to judge too soon. It sounds like your company probably lacked direction for a long time. So do you feel this way because you are looking to find a better job?

If not then you must take action. The only way you’ll reduce your frustration is to feel productive. You have to recreate your environment. Talk to your manager or supervisor and see if they can give some of your work to your co-workers, if s/he won’t do it then ask for more time and a raise to complete your projects. You may be surprised at how responsive your manager might be to your suggestions. Many times they choose to ignore what they don’t want to see, but once you bring it to their attention they are glad to help out.

As for the classes that don’t fit into your job description…it may not seem helpful now, but be glad that they are giving you an opportunity to learn in a new way. You might be able to take this new skill, put it on your resume and use it at your next job.

Very Cool Related Articles:

• Tell Your Boss You Need Leisure Time
• Leisure Expert Alison Link Answers a Work Happy Now Question
• 7 Tips to Process Your Stress Faster

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Sometimes you meet a person and you just know they have a good understanding of life. Maybe it’s their body language or the way they tell a joke. Whatever it is, if you want to learn from that person then you need to approach them to get a more in depth look. Dr. Rick Kirschner was this person for me. We’ve never spoken in person, but we began to email each other and developed an instant rapport, which grew into a friendship.

I asked Rick if he would do an interview with me and he agreed. His website, The Art of Change, and his blog are great resources for any person looking to improve their Emotional Work Quotient (EWQ). My favorite part about his blog is his detailed approach to helping his readers improve their ability to communicate well.

Rick has been interviewed by FOX, CNBC, and CBS. He has also spoken at some of the world’s best known organizations such as Starbucks, Heineken and NASA. He has a great deal of expertise and Work Happy Now was lucky enough to get an extended interview with some great advice.

My first question got right into the thick of helping all of you improve your working life.

Karl – Work Happy Now

When people are trying to get ahead at work, what do you believe is the single most important reason that they plateau?

Rick

People plateau at work for any number of reasons. Sometimes it just takes too long to get where they want to go, and the motivation is ground away over time by the daily grind. Sometimes, a person runs into a ceiling or a wall, in the form of some kind of bias, or another person who is difficult for them to deal with, or persistent conflict with others about the best way to do things. And sometimes a person’s motivation changes because they enter a new moment of life with unanticipated challenges, like children or health or aging or financial changes, and everything they’ve done and cared about becomes less relevant to where they find themselves and what matters most now.

But I think the single most important reason for coming to a stop may be the weakness of interpersonal skills necessary for continuing forward. Consider that in the relatively rarified atmosphere of fewer people managing a broader scope of people and projects, an entirely different level of communication skill may be required than what was sufficient before. To the person who has focused on getting ahead through hard work and persistence, persuasive communication is a soft skill that may have been unrecognized for its importance, or neglected in favor of seemingly more practical skills related to doing one’s immediate work. When it comes to changing one’s circumstance, education is key, and communication skill essential. Only through persuasive communication can we enroll others in our efforts, win hearts, hands and minds to expand the scope of our own ability, and slice through seeming opposition with effective strategy.

Karl – WHN

I think that I’ve got a good grasp on what you mean by improving education and communication. Let’s say that I’m at my job for five years and I don’t want to go back to school, but I still want to get ahead. I like the phrase persuasive communication because I’ve noticed that some of the really talented people that I’ve worked with had this ability. How would someone go about learning this skill?

Rick

One of the best ways to learn is to pay attention. All around you, people are attempting to persuade each other to achieve various objectives. Some of those attempts are wildly successful, and some fail completely. I think it is a useful practice to review any attempt that you witness, determine for yourself what worked and what didn’t work, and what you might do differently if it were you seeking to be the persuasive party in the exchange.

Persuasion finds common ground as a starting point, speaks to interests and motivations, moves people from their positions and opinions, and gains traction by engaging others at core levels of who they are. So any time you find yourself persuaded, ask yourself why. What persuaded you? What moved you? What engaged you? How did it engage you? Pardon the metaphor, but in this way, you can fly over the terrain of persuasion and begin to get your bearings. Next step, land, walk around, find the landmarks. From there, it’s a matter of blazing your own trail.

Karl – WHN

Most of our success comes down to overcoming fear. If I want to be promoted at my job, but I fear that I might not be able to handle the extra work load then there is a conflict within myself. On your website you talk about embracing the change. If we fear the unknown then how do we begin to embrace this?

Rick

Actually, I think most of our success comes down to using fear as part of the impetus for change, by pulling ourselves forward with desire. A little fear and a lot of desire creates in us an unstoppable ability to change for the better. So if you want to be promoted, and you fear not being able to handle the extra work, then perhaps your fear is misplaced. Instead, what fear might you have of staying in place, of not pursuing the promotion? For example, the business is going to change. Not everyone employed today will be around tomorrow. Fit in, fall out. Stand out, move on.

Though I know it’s true that many, if not most, people fear the unknown, I find it rather ironic. Because everything about life, outside of this moment, is unknown to us. We have no guarantees. We can’t be sure that what we have will remain the same. We can’t be sure that we will ever have another opportunity to make a choice. I could die of a heart attack. A tornado could suck me up into the sky and an earthquake could swallow me whole. The surface of the earth is unstable, and so is the surface of our lives, and clinging to the unstable is like waiting for disaster to strike. I think life is all about navigating the unknowns, and it’s my observation that those who experience the most fulfillment and success, the most joy and happiness, are those who embrace the opportunity of the unknown, and use the moment to aim for what they want rather than trying to hold on to what they have.

Karl – WHN

Let’s say we start to embrace the unknown and we really feel good. We are really getting somewhere, but after six months we feel like we are just spinning our wheels and can’t make long lasting change. How does someone make the switch from being motivated to instilling new habits that help us succeed at our jobs?

Rick

To meet the challenge of changing habits successfully and sustainably, you need strong resolve and effective tools. I’ve developed a method for strengthening resolve that I use with myself and my clients. I call it stacking motivations. It’s based on my motivational model, which proposes six motivations for change that have both a desire side and a fear side. You simply fill in the blanks until you have one of each, then mentally stack them in sequence, the strongest on the bottom and the weakest at the top of the stack. This serves as a motivational reference point, so you never have to wonder why you’re developing the new habit.

Next, the tools. Here’s a six step tool that anyone can use to bring about a desired change.

1. You define and describe your present state (know your starting point.)

2. Define and describe your desired outcome (desired state.)

3. Identify what resources are available to you to move you closer to where you want to go.

4. Identify small ways to leverage those resources.

5. Take advantage of them.

6. Use them to assist you in making your desired change.

Taking off the brakes is the fastest way to get some acceleration. That’s sort of the opposite of how most people go about change, which is trying harder, doing more, working harder, struggling more. I’m a fan of working smarter instead of harder, of making simple choices instead of complicated ones, of getting more results with less effort.

So the next step is identify the restraining forces that keep you in place, spinning your wheels. And the last step is you determine how you can inhibit these inhibitors. All that’s left after that is to act on what you’ve learned from these six steps. The longest journey begins with a single step. And one step at a time is how we get from here to there.

Karl – WHN

Now that we have a good understanding of how we can optimize ourselves at work, I want to work on improving the people around us.

The cornerstone to being successful at work is impressing the people who manage and supervise us, so my next question to you is how do we get a boss that doesn’t communicate well to become more open and willing to share information?

Rick

First, get over your reaction to the fact that you’ve got a boss that doesn’t communicate well. Communication may not be his or her strong suit, but then, that also may not be how they got to where they are. Instead, seek to understand their motivations and intentions. Learn what you can by observing, what they value, what engages them, when they are more open and receptive and when they are reactive or non-responsive. Learn about their strengths, and where you might have something to contribute that could prove helpful to them.

If you can stomach it, turn your boss into a mentor. Come right out and ask! Ask for guidance and direction. Ask for feedback. Turn your relationship with your boss into a real relationship! It’s amazing how seeking to understand feeds a mutual interest for understanding. Just as in any relationship, you can learn the power of giving information in the form of questions instead of making power-challenging assertions. Learn to be patient when needed. It’s not rocket science, but it takes commitment and self awareness to build bridges and open doors where there are moats and walls, but it has been done before elsewhere, and you choose to do it too.

I’m not being a pollyanna about this. I’ve known bosses who were tremendous people on a personal level, but ruthless in their position. I’m of the opinion that you should always maintain the option of walking away if your best efforts produce a less than acceptable result. But you’ll never know until you try, and the strength you develop from putting out the effort may prove invaluable to you at another place and time. So it seems to me that you have nothing to lose by opening up, reaching out, and engaging in a new way and at a deeper level than you had in the past.

Karl – WHN

What is the single most important thing an individual can do to enjoy their job?

Rick

One of my favorite stories involves Ben Franklin and a drunkard. Franklin was giving a speech about the newly formed United States of America. A drunk in the back of the hall began making noises and drawing attention to himself. He demanded “Where’s my happiness?” Franklin looked around the hall, then centered his attention on the disruptor and said, “The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”

How does one catch happiness in this troubled world? How do you find it in your pursuits? I think a different tactic is the useful one here. Instead of pursuing happiness, which implies that happiness is somehow out of reach, you can choose to be happy in your pursuits. I’m fairly certain that happiness is a choice, not a goal. If you are happy and bring happiness TO your pursuits, you will certainly find it there. But if you are in search of happiness in your pursuits, reaching for it, hoping for it, alas, it is likely that, other than the fleeting accidental moment, there is no happiness to be found. How can this be?

Because happiness is an internal state, like motivation, satisfaction and fulfillment. And while we talk about such things as if they are dependent on external-to-ourselves variables, the reality of life is that we can’t find outside of us what does not exist in us. No one can love you more than you love yourself (They can try, but their efforts will be met with sabotage and disdain.) No one can appreciate you more than you appreciate yourself (You will simply dismiss it and explain it away.) In the words of George Bernard Shaw, in his Man and Superman: “This is the true joy in life. That being used for a purpose conceived by yourself as a mighty one. That being a force of nature, rather than a feverish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that life will not devote itself to making you happy.”

We enter a state of happiness in only one place and time: Here. And now. The idea that we’re going to get another chance at happiness in some future time can be a foolish one, in that there are no guarantees in life for anything beyond this moment. In the three time zones of life, dead past, imagined future and right now, only one time zone is real. Because all that ever was and ever will be happens in this one moment. We look back and learn from the past NOW. We look forward and imagine our future NOW. And right now, whatever we are doing, we are human beings, and to get better results, it just works better to be better before we can do better.

Now all that said, I’m convinced that the happiest and most fulfilled people I know, the ones who find the greatest happiness in their pursuits, are those who meet the following conditions:

1. A purpose to fulfill
2. Healthy and helpful habits
3. Sustaining attitudes
4. Supportive relationships

I’ve invested my adult life in planting and cultivating these elements in my moment, and through my coaching and training work, helping others do the same. In this moment, we can make choices around purpose, habit, attitude and relationship. And why make such choices? I can say it best when I speak for myself. Because if I die tomorrow (and I hope I don’t!) I want to know that I truly lived today, gave my best to my work today, and that the work I do today will touch tomorrow. It drives me, delights me, and even when things go other than I hoped, I am fulfilled in being and doing my best today. Right now.

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I want to thank Dr. Rick Kirschner for doing an interview with me. I know that I learned a lot and hopefully we can all take these ideas and run with them. Don’t forget to check out Rick’s website The Art of Change and his blog for more great ideas on how to improve communication with your co-workers and in your personal relationships.

He also has a teleseminar coming up at the end of July. Check out his site and see if it fits your needs. I grabbed a quote from his site, which should stir a little excitement.

As everything changes around you, what is your response? Taking your next step is how you gain traction and momentum. Next steps lead to progress. What is your next step? At work and at home, in times of challenge and change, the best change you can make is to improve your ability to interact with others so you can use your influence to bring about positive change.”

Other Interviews at Work Happy Now:

• Leisure Expert Alison Link Answers a Work Happy Now Question
• How Toyota Became #1 – David Magee Responds to My Interview Questions

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Image courtesy of Dr. Rick Kirschner

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!