Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Sean Conrad of the Halogen blog

A lot of employees and managers experience performance appraisals as a negative process. This is true even for employees who are generally good performers. At the core, the reason why we experience performance appraisals negatively is because we are being judged and rated by another.

But you could change the whole experience and improve the business value of performance appraisals simply by changing their focus. What if the goal of your performance appraisal process was to find way to encourage and inspire people to be happy at work and to be their best, rather than to critique, rate and rank them?

There are several things an individual manager or better yet an entire organization can do to make performance appraisals a positive experience that encourages and inspires:

Start by Getting Their Perspective

It’s important to begin your performance appraisal process with your employee’s perspective. Invite them to tell you about their accomplishments, performance, successes and challenges. You can do this by getting them to complete a self-appraisal before you write their appraisal.

You can also do this by having them to keep a performance journal year round or by providing you with short weekly or monthly reports. The important thing is to get them to reflect on what they’ve done, how they’ve done, what makes them happy, what inspires their best performance and to share this information with you. This gives them an active and important role in the performance appraisal process and gives you both information for a meaningful dialogue.

Focus on the Positives

Whoever said that performance appraisals had to be about providing negative feedback on areas of low or poor performance? Why not focus on the positive? Use the opportunity to give your employee feedback on all the great things they’ve done. Give them specific examples, touch on the “how” as well as the “what” they did well, and let them know how that impacted the team, department or organization in a positive way. Positive feedback about our successes is a great motivator, and tends to encourage more great performance. This doesn’t mean you don’t take time to discuss areas where performance is lacking; it just means you broaden your focus and give your employee a more balanced perspective.

Of course, you shouldn’t limit your positive feedback to performance appraisal time. Make sure you give your employees positive feedback on good performance on a weekly basis.

Identify the Root Causes of Happiness and High Performance

Invite your employees to reflect on why they excelled in a particular area or at a particular task, as well as the times they were truly happy at work. What were the “conditions” that supported their success or happiness? Did the work ignite their passion? Did it open up new avenues for creativity? Was it the mix of people on a project or team that brought out their best? Did it invite them to learn new skills or apply old ones in a new way?

By identifying and understanding the root causes of happiness and high performance, we can then try to recreate these conditions as much as is possible or practical. You can’t guarantee that you’ll always be able to provide your employee with work that is fun and engaging, but if you don’t know what makes them “sing” how can you ever hope to encourage that?

Take the Focus Off the Ratings

Ever thought of conducting performance appraisals without ratings? When we assign numbers to performance, we judge others. While it might be helpful to ask the employee to rate their performance, if we want the performance appraisal to be a positive experience and help them be happy in their work, the focus should be on helping them improve, succeed and be happy in their work, not on the ratings. Instead of numbers, the focus should be on:

> What successes they had

> What contributed to their success

> Their career interests

> Skills or areas they would like to further develop

> Things they need to support their performance and success

> Things at work that contribute to their happiness

> Things at work that contribute to their unhappiness

The manager’s role should be to coach and support, not judge. To encourage this, you can do away with numerical ratings all together, or move to a simplified 2 or 3 point scale that serves as an indicator.

Foster Personal Development

You can also make performance appraisals a happier, more pleasant experience by making development planning an integral part of your performance appraisal process. Every employee should be encouraged and supported in their development, helping improve their performance and preparing them for career advancement. Development plans shouldn’t just be assigned to address “performance gaps”. They should focus on enhancing or broadening an employee’s skills, experience and expertise. Here again, you should look at the kinds of work that make the employee happiest and where they perform best. How can you help them expand and develop further in these areas?

You should also invite your employee to reflect on and identify their preferred learning style, and look for development activities that suit that style. Think beyond traditional training courses to include a variety of learning activities like job shadowing, reading, podcasts, volunteer activities, mentoring, on the job training given by another employee, webinars, etc. For example, if an employee hates reading, and learns best by doing, don’t assign them books to read; look for on the job training experiences or hands-on learning activities for them. That way you set them up for success.

Conclusion

Employee performance appraisals don’t have to be a dreaded task that creates anxiety and animosity between managers and staff. With the right positive focus and approach, they can be a powerful tool for nurturing happiness and high performance.

Your Turn

Have you ever had or given a performance review that left you more motivated?

Sean Conrad is a happy employee at Halogen Software, a market leading vendor of performance appraisal software. His passion is helping managers adopt talent management best practices. You can read more of his posts on the Halogen blog.

* Don’t miss out on any more great articles. Sign up for my RSS feed or email feed and you’ll stay updated on the latest tips and ideas to bring more happiness to your working life.

* Staying focused on one task at a time is not easy. Especially if you are like me and like to hop all around. Stacey over at Mom Renewal has a great guest post on single tasking that most of you need to read.

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Have you ever been so caught up in your anger that you can’t let it go?

Your anger, if unmanaged, ages you faster, slows the healing process, and gives you trouble developing friendships.

Most of us have some anger issues, especially when we are around people that annoy us. I have a friend who can’t stand a client that he works for. He tells me about his annoying voice and all his stupid requests. When he retells his stories we laugh about his client’s personality.

It made me think about how my friend uses our conversations to create emotional space. Emotional and physical space are really all about perception.

Back in 1910, people thought New York was so very far from Paris. It takes 5 days to travel by boat in 2010. In 1910 it must have taken over a week. Now it’s a little over seven hour plane ride. That’s 1/24^th of the time.

I used to think that the day was so long when I had to work side by side with an annoying co-worker; now an annoying person can actually be fun. You will learn a few techniques that will help you accelerate your emotional space, teaching you how to improve friendships and your happiness.

Processing your emotions

In order to accelerate your emotional space, you must learn to process your feelings so lightning fast that it takes very little time to get yourself feeling good again.

This is very important at work because we often have to deal with difficult people and projects that wreak havoc on our emotions and health.

If you can’t process your emotions quickly you are more prone to stress.

“75%-90% of all doctor visits, medical and psychological, are now recognized as stress related.”
- Washington Athletic Club

Last year I went to the doctor because my left arm was going numb. I was stressed out because of a big project I was working on. I was letting worry get the best of me.

Think of all the headaches, backpain, and colds you’ve had, many of these symptoms are caused by stress. Stress can suppress the immune system if you don’t figure out a way to work through your emotions.

W.L.E.

Watch, laugh and enjoy.

I worked for a small company a few years back. There was one woman who scratched my nerves every time she talked. She never had a kind word to say; just complaining came out of her. Those first few months were hard, but it became a part of the story.

I actually wrote a novel about her. It was a fictional love story, but it forced me to look at my life as a narrative. I wrote a story of us falling in love. It was a blast to write. I’m still waiting on a publisher. Know anyone?

By thinking of myself as a character in a story, I stopped attaching myself to the situation in my life. I created this emotional distance so I could process the feelings.  It’s why I call my fear/resistance my arch nemesis. I have an easier time processing my feelings.

When she would annoy me by cutting me off in mid-sentence to tell me another tale about drinking with her sister at the bar, I watched my feelings. The anger would rise. In my head I complained about every little detail – from her lack of social skills to the ugly puke green outfits that she loved to wear.

I was taking this situation too seriously, so I created a plan to help me create emotional space. I would imagine myself hovering twenty yards (20 meters) above watching myself as I stewed in my anger every time she bothered me. After doing this a few times I began to see the same pattern repeat. I watched how my co-workers dealt with her. They didn’t have any better luck, but I noticed that I actually had fun watching them interact with her. She would walk up to them with a question and I sat back as I watched the exchange. They would usually walk away shaking their head.

I chuckled to myself because I felt the same way. I realized that if I can laugh at them then I can laugh at myself. The next time she came to ask for help I was there, but not there. It was like I was floating above watching someone else.

Over the next few years I developed my superpower of floating above myself and laughing at my reactions. I watched how I got upset then I reminded myself to laugh. Before she left I ultimately found my key to enjoying her for who she was not who I wanted her to be. She became a one person show in my story.

Now I use this method to create emotional space in almost every difficult situation I’m caught in.

The Right Questions

The most important part of learning to create space from the pain, so you can process it, is to ask the right questions. The right questions are key. If you keep asking yourself, “Why does (insert annoying person’s name) keep making me so upset?” Your only looking for more problems.

You must create questions that will help steer your brain in a more positive direction.

Let’s try this mini relaxation. I like to call it “Floating Laughter.”

Imagine watching yourself floating twenty yards (or meters) above the difficult situation. How do you feel? (i.e. I felt angry when she talked).

Why do you feel this way? (i.e. She is selfish).

Now add a “but.” (i.e. but she is probably lonely and just wants attention).

By finding compassion for the other person as well as yourself, you create even more space.

So now that you have a little emotional space look back at your anger and say or think to yourself, “When I was (insert feeling here) I didn’t create enough space. It was actually funny when I (insert reaction).”

Ahhh, space

When you are able to separate from the pain, you can reflect on the situation. Once you’re in reflection mode, that’s when you have a choice. You can choose to focus on the pain or you can choose to focus on what is funny about your response.

When you choose to focus on what is funny about the situation, you will create a stronger and happier you.

It sounds simple, but it’s takes some practice. I don’t want you to think this is easy because working with your emotions is tricky. They are sneaky and they will often try to redirect you.

Try to make it a game. Every time you get upset over someone else’s reactions, make a little notch on a piece of paper. If this happens three times, just smile big. So big it hurts. Chuckle at yourself for letting someone else dictate your happiness.

You must practice this for at least thirty straight days before it becomes a skill, and a couple of years before it becomes a superpower. But once you harness this power, you will find it much easier to enjoy the present moment, even when you have an annoying client bugging you about every little problem.

Remember

Watch your emotions

Laugh at your response

Enjoy the feelings for what they are

Your emotions can either push you around or you can use them to slingshot yourself into a better place.

You choose.

* Join over 1,000 people who have already subscribed to the FREE Happy at Work 10 Week eCourse. It will arrive in your inbox every Monday morning, when you need it the most. (Sign up is in the top left corner)

* Marelisa of the Abundance Blog has an article about igniting your creativity. Learn how to use mystery in your business/career and you’ll learn how to keep people wanting more.

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You don’t literally need to hug a tree, but…I mean if you really want to, go right ahead.

I just want you to get in tune with your senses. When was the last time you smelled a flower?

Been a while?

When you step outside of your comfort zone and do something like hug a tree, you’ll be surprised by the reactions you feel.

I literally went and hugged a tree. I pressed my cheek to the tree, wrapped my arms around it and squeezed. I felt this warm feeling come over me, like somehow the tree understood my appreciation for all the good that it does filtering the air for us.

I know this idea will feel weird, maybe a little too uncomfortable, so it’s time to use your imagination. Take two minutes to imagine yourself hugging a tree.

Feel the bark on your skin.

The smell of the bark.

What feelings rise up?

The strength of the tree.

The strengths within you.

I guarantee your stress will lower and you’ll feel more appreciation for the next tree you touch.

*Join over 400 people who have already subscribed to the FREE Happy at Work 10 Week eCourse. It will arrive in your inbox every Monday morning. When you need it the most. (Sign up is in the top left corner)

*Jonathan Fields wrote a really cool post called Is Your Happiness Bound By Those You Serve? Love the comments.

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- Work Happy Tip – Just Ask

Image courtesy of Paulo Brandão

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There will be days when there seems like nothing is going well. The back pain is flairing, the co-worker next to you finds it funny when he is a little extra annoying, and you can’t seem to get anything done (constantly interrupted).

A few weeks ago I felt like this and I remembered a great technique that always helps.

Remember 3 Good Things

I learned this trick from my friend Alex.

At the end of your day on your commute home (or if you work from home before you leave your home office) – remember 3 good things that happened to you that day.

They can be the tiniest things ever.

They could be:

- The cup of coffee you had this morning.

- The bird chirping outside your window.

- The smile of the new hire, so wet behind the ears that it’s fun to watch.

Whatever you can find, just focus on those three things and watch what happens. You’ll notice your mood change in a positive way.

This is a natural reaction. When you focus on the good stuff in your day, it’s a little reminder that there are good things in your life.

What are 3 good things that have happened in your day so far? Let’s talk in the comments section.

* Don’t miss any more great articles. Sign up for my RSS feed or email feed and you’ll stay updated on the latest tips and ideas to bring more happiness to your working life.

* Chris Brogan wrote a wonderful piece that made me want to work for him. He wants to help businesses develop their soul. It was beautiful. Go check it out – Soul of a New Business.

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So you’re stressed out and you have too much to complete. What do you do?

Usually someone does the opposite of what they should really do. They try to rush through to get as much done as possible without being aware of their body signals.

This is actually funny to me. I have often seen co-workers making calls, writing an email and planning their night all at the same time they’re rushing to get all their work done and then they complain about feeling stressed out.

Instead of looking at the root cause, they apply topical solutions to the problem. I’ll explain as this article continues.

I’ve actually tried talking to these stressed out people about their habits and all I get are grumpy stares. I’m sure they are addicted to the rush of rushing around. We all love to feel important, making sure our ego gets that daily dose of “oh yeah, that’s why I’m on Earth.”

The problem is that our hearts, minds, and stomachs can’t handle the pressure. No wonder we eat for comfort. We are constantly on the edge trying to bring ourselves back to solid ground. We also forget that we have superpowers that need to be used more often.  We forget that we are put on this earth to thrive instead of just survive. That means doing work that gets us excited, gets us in the zone, and plays to our strengths. It’s a lot easier to keep stress back when we are doing work that comes easy to us.

We also need to find other ways to relax with the work that we do without feeling overwhelmed. It’s a mental game that we must all solve for ourselves.

I use 3 techniques that I’ve combined to help me deal with my frustration, plus a bonus idea that has worked well for me:

- Slow your movements for a specified amount of time

- Increase speed slowly

- Be 100% there

* Bonus Tip

Slow Down Your Movements

The whole world seems to advocate slowing down. There are countless songs about it. Here is a small sample of lyrics – Jack Johnson, Bobby Valentine, and Wyclef Jean.

After doing research on work habits and how they cause stress, I found an article on the Wall Street Journal website called Not so Fast.

After reading the piece I understood the root cause of our stress.

It all comes down to how we adjust to the pace of our work.

If you have a lot to get done then of course you need to increase the pace of your work, but how much more can you take? Do you increase your pace by 10% or maybe 25%? And how much can you reasonably handle? How do you measure your stress level so you don’t fall into the fetal position crying and sucking your thumb?

When you feel like work will crash down on top of you, refuse to give in to the game. Take 30 minutes to work at a slower pace. Use this time to type slower, breathe slower, and think slower. You’ll be surprised by the work you are able to accomplish.

I was recently stressed out so I put myself in a slow motion state, working at 50% capacity. I did this for 30 minutes. It was hard to not jump right back up to full speed. There were a couple of times when I caught myself working too fast and I had to pull back. Try typing at 50% reduced speed. It’s hard not to fall back into regular typing habits.

This exercise helped me prioritize. After that half hour was over I increased my speed, but I felt much more relaxed and able to enjoy my work.

When you challenge yourself to work at a more manageable pace, you usually increase your stress level. But you can challenge yourself for a small amount of time to help you reframe the situation. This added stress will help you in the long run.

I know you still need to get your stuff done, but be mindful of your pace. Learning to slow down when the nerves are about to snap is a great tool to improve your work happiness.

Increase Speed Slowly

The only way a professional athlete will get beyond his current skill level is to push outside of his comfort zone. That may mean 30 more minutes in the gym, 30 more minutes of practice, or 30 more minutes of studying. I picked 30 minutes because it seems reasonable. When you want to add 2 hours to any routine you will rebel and fall back into old habits.

When I first started blogging, everyone told me to post every single day.

That’s not me.

I started with short posts twice a week, moved up to three short posts, then one long and three short, to one long and one medium and to one video post each week. The idea was to slowly increase the amount I could handle. I’ve also added a cartoon to the weekly mix, so that’s four posts a week. That seems to be a good fit for now.

I know that you may not have this luxury at your job. So try pushing hard for 1 hour then take a break. I means push yourself really hard and see what signals your body gives off.

- Do you feel tense?
- Do you feel invigorated?
- Do you feel tired?

Be aware of how you feel and what you need to do for yourself after 1 hour. That’s when you should take a break or pull way back. If your shoulders are tight and you have a headache then take these signals as a need for a break. If you feel grumpy then you may only need to slow down to let yourself recharge.

Be 100% There

Many of my most frustrating moments have been when I tried to multitask. I try to do a difficult task while also doing more menial tasks.

For example, sometimes I try to work on my blog, while also keeping an eye on my kid. He’s young, so I need to give him my full attention if he isn’t sleeping. I’ve tried researching an article while he lies in his crib, but I end up going in and checking on him every ten minutes. I can’t stay focused. So instead of pushing through, I make a decision to give 100% of my focus to him. Then when Nikki comes home and I let her take over so I can finish my work.

Bonus – Find the Game that Fits You

Many of you probably want to become more productive while still feeling relaxed. This takes practice. So try to make it a game. If you know you want create a blog, write a novel, or learn to draw cartoons then start slowly. The idea should be to devote a little time every day to accomplish your goals. That may mean sitting down every night and refusing to allow anything to distract you for thirty minutes.

The game comes in how much you can accomplish in this short amount of time. Can you write half a page, one page, and then step up to two pages? Can you decrease your TV time while increasing your creative time?

If you feel tired when you come home and all you want to do is relax then you need to make a choice. Push past your present limits or accept where you are?

Putting it all Together

The hard part is relaxing as the stress increases. I focus on my body signals, such as a headache or tightening in my legs, back, and neck (my three stress catchers).

When I feel stressed, I focus on slowing down my thoughts, taking deep breaths, and relaxing my muscles as I work. When I feel the signals again, I bring myself back to the same routine. I keep bringing myself back to the same routine, retraining how I respond to the work. After I’m calm I slowly begin to ramp up my work level.

This has been a long work in progress. After practicing this for a couple of years I’ve learned to notice frustration before it overwhelms me.

I reprogrammed my habits so that I can change the way I feel before I become overwhelmed. Instead of getting all huffy and puffy, which used to force me to take a break, I’m able to pull back for a few minutes then ramp back up again. It has become a more natural work flow instead of forced effort.

Natural Work Flow

As you practice these techniques, you’ll eventually find your comfort zone and discover how to push past it so you can accomplish work that makes you feel strong.

Never think of yourself as lazy. You just need to find a way to enjoy a little discomfort to push to a new level.

* Join over 400 people who have already subscribed to the FREE Happy at Work 10 Week eCourse. It will arrive in your inbox every Monday morning. When you need it the most. (Sign up is also in the top left corner)

* I write about fear on this blog, but have trouble catching it’s true essence. Marc and Angel wrote a wonderful post that gets right to the heart of fear. It’s called I Would Rather Sound Stupid.

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If I was a betting man I would put up $10,000 that everyone has a friend who hates his or her job. I would win every time because I know you all know someone who bitches and complains about their job and does nothing to bring more joy into their working life.

That’s why I’m launching the BETA program of The Happy at Work Project. I want to help people who hate their jobs as well as people who put up with their “ok” jobs.

“OK” and “Hate” – Two Terrible Words

People who hate their jobs need to find a way to accept or change their circumstances. The only way they will actually do this is if they understand what they truly want out of their careers.

People who have just an “ok” job but don’t get excited about the work they are doing need to figure out what makes them feel energized and how to do more of this type of work.

I don’t believe in coasting. Sure, if you want to stay where you are then that’s your prerogative. This project is not for you.

But if you want to build a career that is going to take your happiness to the next level then the “Happy at Work Project” is your cup of “wake up and have fun” coffee.

Build Your Happiness

I’ve created a free 12 page workbook (PDF) that will help you dissect what will bring you happiness at work and learn how to start your own Happy at Work Project.

I also created a Work Happy Now weekly planner to supplement your Happy at Work Project. I have been using a similar planner for the past few months. The concept is to have a resolution for each day of the week.

So…

• Monday will be about Bringing Joy to Others 
• Tuesday will be about Explore Something New
• Wednesday will be about Using Your Strengths
• Thursday will be about Helping Someone
• Friday will be about Celebrating Your Accomplishments
• Saturday will be about Lowering Your Stress Level
• Sunday will be about Organizing Your Life

If you would like for me to send this to you then email me at karl (AT) workhappynow (DOT) com or my contact page. Write “Work Happy Now Weekly Planner” anywhere in the message and I’ll send it to you. I will also send you a list of themes you can use for each day.

What you choose to focus on will determine your happiness. If you can focus your energy in a positive direction, you will improve your productivity and success. Try developing your own Happy at Work Project today and take control of your work happiness. It has worked for me and I know it can work for you.

As this is a BETA program that is completely free, I would like your help in improving this program over the next few months. If you have any tips or detailed ideas for improvement please let me know.

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

I love my readers. They always have such passion for working happier. One commenter wrote a response to – How You are Silently Signaling Your Co-Workers to Treat You. Check out what this reader is struggling with:

Ever since I was a kid, people have considered me to be “weird.” (Karl’s Note: We are all weird, some of us are just better at hiding it.) I have a very hard time connecting with people. The reality is that I love being alone. I love to write and read–watch birds…stare at the night sky. I have a rich imagination–and can entertain myself with my thoughts alone. I fantasize about moving to a little town where no one knows me, buying a little house, and not having to work…I’m not rich, I’m married, have children, and work with a group of people who ignore and avoid me. I’m pretty invisible. Then when I have to work with my team–it is a nightmare for me. No one listens to me, or they tell me my idea won’t work, then later someone else brings it up…and it is the greatest idea ever! I think I read somewhere that that means you’re the person with the lowest status in the group.

I’ll admit I feel impatient–I tend to see things quickly and clearly, and it is hard to wait while people hash things out…trying to understand. I’m sure with my poor social skills my impatience shows and that I’m not always pleasant to work with.

Anyway–I am in a lot of pain. My boss seems to be giving me fewer and fewer assignments, doesn’t work with me anymore–and I read that this could mean that she’s pushing me out.

Are there people who spend most of their time alone–and lead productive lives? Are there any jobs out there that I could do all by myself?

The pain of what is going on at work is tearing me apart.

Is there a place in this world for me?

My response…

I feel your pain. I’m a shy person at heart. I’m afraid of all kinds of people and situations, but I’ve learned that this is the stuff I need the most. I need to be pushed to be outgoing.

The first thing you need to do is try to make your present situation better. I always thought a change of jobs would help me. The thing is I kept falling back into the same problems.

It seems like you are a good problem solver. Try to find small ways to improve on what you are good at. That means volunteering for work that fits with your strengths. Hopefully your co-workers will respect the quality work that you are doing. If they don’t then you at least know in your own heart that you are doing good work.

While trying to improve your present situation keep looking for a new job. There are a lot of jobs that allow you to work from home, i.e. – virtual assistant, call center, computer programming, etc. The reality is, you can’t be an island. You will still have to interact with people, so building up your social skills will help you wherever you go.

Life is a myriad of puzzles. This puzzle is one that you are just going to have to dive into and find some solutions. I know you can make your working life better. It’s why I started Work Happy Now. I wanted to make my working life more enjoyable. 

Remember that it all starts with you. You have to take 100% responsibility for your happiness. No one can make you happy. They can only assist in helping you become happier.

Work relationships are never easy, but just keep trying new tactics and eventually you’ll find solutions that work for you.

Please keep me updated. Everyone deserves to enjoy what they do to earn a living.

We all struggle with our jobs at some point, whether it is a difficult co-worker, a mean boss, or a project that grinds away on our last nerve. We can’t let these problems get to us. We need to find solutions within ourselves so we can still enjoy the process.

No job is perfect, but as long as we take responsibility for our own happiness, we will find ways to extract the joy out of a tough situation.

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Are you a creative person looking for solid productivity techniques then check out Charlie’s blog Productive Flourishing and read away.

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Did you enjoy this post then why not join my RSS feed via email or online reader and stay updated on every post? It’s good for me and you – because a happy you makes me smile.

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If you enjoyed this article then check these out too:

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Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

(If you are unable to see this video, just click here and you’ll be forwarded to the site.)

Success or failure is really determined by how we feel. It’s up to us to figure out how to make ourselves “feel” successful every single day.

If you enjoyed this video post I have a good feeling you’ll enjoy these too:

• Don’t Be Afraid of the F Word
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Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!