I’ve learned more about my habits of thought during my thirty day “No Complaining” challenge than I have in the last six months – such an intense microscope on one area of my life. “No Complaining” forced positive change. The deeper I looked at how complaining affected my life, the easier it was to use this wisdom to my advantage.

I posted 7 articles about my No Complaining journey, each one giving a little different insight than the last:

• Day 29 of 30 – No Complaining – Listen to Your Fear
• Day 23 of 30 – Change Spurs Complaining
• Day 18 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 16 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 8 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 1of 30 – No Complaining
• No More Complaining at Work – A Thirty Day Challenge

30 days of no complaining was so intensely interesting that I’m going to do more of these 30 day challenges. I haven’t cured myself of complaining. Far from it. I’ve actually become more convinced of the importance of complaining. We all know the basic methods of complaining.

• Whining (The worst form of complaining)
• Complaining to create laughter (A skill that most comedians have perfected)
• Complaining to share experiences (Excellent social tool)
• Complaining to probe (This form of complaining allows you to informally protest. If people agree they will join in. Then you know that you are of like mind.)
• Complaining to take action (Maybe my favorite form of complaining. We all need to vent about stress and problems in our lives. The idea is that we put ourselves out there to others, which means that we state an informal complaint. Now that other people know what’s bothering us, it’s up to us to take action. That may mean changing the situation or just letting it go and not complaining about it any longer.)

I’ve never met a person who didn’t complain in some way. They might not come out whining about what’s wrong with their life, but they will make judgments.

A father may say, “I wish my daughter would try harder at her school work.” He may say it in a loving way, but we all know it’s a small complaint. He might say this to a friend in passing and his friend might say that he has a similar problem with his son. They talk about it and bond. Maybe they even come up with a solution. The solution isn’t as important as the bonding because as most people know teenage daughters and sons do what they want to do, not what their fathers want.

If that father complains about his daughter to everyone, that’s just whining. He isn’t trying to bond, create laughter, probe or take action. He just wants everyone to feel his misery.

Rephrasing of Language

It all comes down to how you phrase your language. I might say, “I don’t feel like going to work today. I’m tired. My job doesn’t give me any incentive to work hard.” This is just whining. If I rephrase it and say, “I’ve been working really hard on this project and I need a break.” Then we start to turn the complaining into something more positive. If I rephrase it again and say, “Going to work is probably not the best choice for me right now, but I need to work on this important project.” Then we get into more of a “sharing complaining” territory.

You could say in a boisterous voice, “I’m going to work today and even though I’m tired, I’m going to accomplish great work.” It doesn’t sound so much like complaining, but reinforcing a positive state of mind. We all know it’s still complaining, but it’s a lot easier to handle for the people who have to listen.

I was surprised by how rephrasing my complaining in a more positive light changed the attitude of the people around me as well as my attitude. Many situations have become a little easier to enjoy. My wife sure finds it easier to listen to me.

Internal Complaining

We all have been around complainers who just wreck the mood of the office. I didn’t want to fall into that trap, so I put my thoughts, emotions and actions under the blogging microscope.

In my own head, I noticed that I would complain about doing easy and hard tasks. There wasn’t a task that I liked. I wasn’t interacting with my external elements in an intelligent way.

I was hating for the sake of hating. I did this because I didn’t want to impede my dream. I wanted to create my own business. I tried to hate all my jobs so I would keep my focus on the big goal. As I began to reduce and rephrase my complaining into a more positive direction I noticed another impediment – my fear. I’ve been afraid to make mistakes.

I hate making mistakes because it makes me feel embarrassed and scared. Afraid to lose my job and lose face to my co-workers. The ego doesn’t like to feel inferior, at least mine doesn’t. This isn’t a bad thing unless it locks the person up, rendering them unable to take action.

I was sabotaging my own motivation.

What if I tried really hard and the project didn’t work? It was easier to stay out of the game and watch from the sidelines, judging everyone else.

By complaining, I was putting the blame on external things instead of myself. By noticing this habit, I’ve been able to lean into my fear and not let it decide my actions. After becoming more aware of my thoughts and emotions, I’ve learned that if I don’t give in to my fears, I could choose actions that may be scary at first, but they would reap greater rewards in the end.

The more successful you become, the easier it will be to enjoy your job.

My Two Favorite Methods When Trying to Reduce Complaining:

1. If a complaint pops out, I try to redirect my thoughts toward something positive.

Ex. “Arrgh, why do I have to do this report over? I wish they would make up their minds.”

Instead I would say

“Okay, they might not be right, but I don’t know all the reasons behind their decisions. I’ll redo this report and also take mental notes on how I would handle this situation. When I become an owner/manager I won’t make the same mistakes.”

We have to figure out a way to use the experience to improve our skills. That way we don’t feel powerless.

2. Rephrasing a complaint before it pops out.

Ex. “Arrgh, why do I have to do this report over?”

to

“Hmm, it’s interesting that they want me to do this report over.”

A simple turnaround of a complaint or a rephrase can make the difference between staying angry or letting the anger go and finding a way to enjoy the situation.

“No Complaining” for thirty days made me aware of many areas of my thoughts and emotions that were invisible before this challenge. This month has given me the most personal improvement I’ve seen all year. It helps to take a microscope to your inner thoughts. I’ve taken my work happiness to a whole new level. I’m contemplating my next thirty day challenge – any suggestions?

What do you struggle with at your job? What type of 30 day challenge could you try that would help you?

If you enjoyed this post then you’ll love these:

• Day 29 of 30 – No Complaining – Listen to Your Fear
• Day 23 of 30 – Change Spurs Complaining
• Day 18 of 30 – No Complaining

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

You and I are constantly having to make adjustments at work. There are probably some nights when you don’t get a lot of sleep. We’ve all been through tough sleeping cycles. I’ll bet you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve heard, “I’m tired,” in a “drag the nails along a chalk board” voice by a fellow co-worker. Why do people complain about stuff they can’t change?

Many of us complain because we don’t feel like adjusting to something new. Monday mornings are a tough adjustment for 9-5’ers because they’ve been able to unwind and enjoy relaxed feelings for two days. We don’t want to go back to work and deal with the stress. We love the weekends and we’ll complain about it until we… well, until something comes along to make us happy again. The problem with complaining is that we stay focused on the negative. I talked about this concept in my post, Day 8 of 30 – No Complaining. When we stay attached to our expectations of what we think life should be, we can’t enjoy the positive within the changing moment.

We all know that there are thousands of books written about the “how to’s” of encouraging employees to embrace change. They were created and popular because we need to make it easy for people to understand the importance of change. If a company refuses to change (improve) its competitors will eat into their market share.

The series has covered all the good, bad, and beautiful parts of complaining. Here they are:

• Day 23 of 30 – Change Spurs Complaining
• Day 18 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 16 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 8 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 1of 30 – No Complaining
• No More Complaining at Work – A Thirty Day Challenge

External Complaining

Changes are happening at my job, and I suspect a lot of you are dealing with the same thing. People getting laid off means more work for the rest of the company. So that means 10 or maybe even 12 hour days for some of you. I have a friend who is being taken advantage of by his company. They know he can’t go anywhere because no one is hiring. They work him hard. He is working from 8am to 10pm on some nights.

The funny thing is this doesn’t help me curb my complaining. A lot of people say to think about someone who has it worse so you feel better about yourself. His complaining just encourages my complaining.

The hardest part about not complaining has been not joining in when other people are doing it. Of course I use empathy, but it’s not the same. The connection between me and the other person isn’t as strong. When I’ve tried to spin their problems into a more positive light they feel rejected. This is probably all in my head, but I’m going to keep an eye on this over the next few months.

Internal Complaining

I feel I’ve made the most progress with my internal complaining. When I’m thumped with an unexpected change I often get down, which is a part of my process that I explain in Day 23 of 30. As the days have gone by in this thirty day challenge, I’ve encountered an unexpected learning curve.

When I was faced with a problem halfway through this month, the old Karl would get down and out for days. I would hate life and avoid dealing with problems; instead I would watch a lot of TV, surf the Internet and call friends.

This time I vented to my wife, mom, father, and brother and that was it. Maybe a total venting time of a few hours. I started feeling better the next day. I saw positives. I appreciated my job for everything it taught me and began to look at my options – trying to see the hopeful aspects in my new job duties. I was able to turn around a difficulty in a matter of 24 hours.

It’s been almost a week and I still feel residual effects. I’ll have a thought about how I’ll miss my co-workers at the old office. Suddenly my body temperature begins to rise, and a small bit of panic sets in before I settle myself and think about my options.

Even if this restructuring doesn’t work for me, I’m a resourceful man and I can find a job in this rough economy.

When we know the worst that can happen then it makes the outcome easier to deal with.

Embracing Change

This thirty day challenge has taught me about embracing my thoughts and then using them to spur action. I’ve already started making plans for 2009. I will be so good at my new job duties that it will send shock waves throughout the organization.

Okay before I go on with my chest thumping of how great I’ll be, I must admit one thing…

I’m afraid.

I have a new boss and I’m not sure how well we will communicate. I’m also going to be more accountable for how many new accounts we bring in. What happens if… Why should… 

The fear just loves to take over and try to incite panic, but action is best taken when calm. I just listen to the cranky old man who doesn’t want things to change. After he is done and before he starts repeating his worries, I put my arms around him and squeeze with all the love I can muster. I tell him “Thanks, so what should we do about this?”

It’s about embracing your fear; giving it a big old hug and saying, “Are you ready to teach me more stuff so I can improve my life?” Fear is such a strong emotion that we often don’t want to get too close for fear of getting burned.

You have to listen to that fear, understand why it’s scared. When you know why these thoughts and feelings occur, you’ll have a better understanding of how to create positive action from them. 

It’s why I blog and you should too. Havi of the Fluent Self has written a series about the benefits of blogging. It’s helped me get my complaining under control and believe me, it was a large task. Blogging about work happiness has forced me to optimize my own career. It has also shown me that I’m meant to help people Work Happy Now.

What is the hardest change you’ve ever had to embrace at your job? How did you do it?

If you liked this post check these out:

• Day 18 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 16 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 8 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 1of 30 – No Complaining
• No More Complaining at Work – A Thirty Day Challenge

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

My job is changing for the positive and negative. Upper management is switching my office to a new location, which means my commute is going to be an extra 2.5 hours each week. That’s nothing to dismiss. An extra 10 hours a month in the car. Ouch! They are also broadening the type of work that I do, which is exciting and scary. I’m going to be more accountable for the company’s wins and losses.

This spurred on a barrage of venting to my wife, who is understandably tired of hearing me complain about my job. I’ve always wanted to own my own business, but was never ready. I’m mentally ready, but not monetarily ready. She gave me the tough love that I needed, but wasn’t looking for. She told me to either suck it up or find a new job. I didn’t want to hear this, not in that moment.

 

I wanted to hear…

“You are too talented to be stuck at that job for much longer. What you need is to get a little more focused and the world is your oyster. You are a great writer, talented speaker, and your passion is work happiness…you know what you want to do, that’s a gift, so dig a little deeper and make it happen. You could try waking up at 5 am and working like a passionate crazy man that I know you are to become the success that I already see. In the mean time why don’t you look for another job and work happy and hard at this new opportunity. Honey, it will get better, it always does.

What I Need to Give Myself

The reinforcement that I was hoping to get from my wife should actually have been given to myself from myself. One of my weaknesses is confidence. I know that I’m a talented person, but I’m also afraid of failure. I hate to fail, which makes putting myself out there very difficult.

In this blog I talk about “knowing yourself” and this is a lesson I need to review. I keep falling back into the same habits. When my life changes I get down on myself – mini depression if you will. This used to happen to my father too. He used to get so down that he wouldn’t talk to his family for days, at least it felt this way when I was 10 years old. He’s a completely different person now. He’s harnessed his torture, which has made him stronger. What I learned from his mistakes is not to keep it bottled up inside. So I vent to my family and friends.

My venting is a process that helps me deal with my issues. I get down so I can see life at a new perspective. These new angles help me to see what I really want out of my life.

I admit that this might be difficult on the people in my life. They want me to be happy. They don’t want to see me suffer. The thing is I need this suffering to spur change. It’s a part of who I am.

I’ve been working on processing these feelings as quickly as possible so I can get back to being happy and productive. There is no magic fast forward button, so sometimes it takes a few days. Believe me, it’s better than a few weeks, which is how long my process used to take.

I’m glad I have a job. I love that I will be trying new things. It may not be the dream career that I always fantasized about, but that’s a part of being young and figuring out my next move.

Self Love

You must believe that you are capable of great things. It’s a must for any career. To believe this you have to have a solid foundation that will help you rebuild your career when it becomes shaky. The more that I work on this blog and network with wonderful people like yourself, the more solid my foundation becomes.

I’ve married an emotionally stable person who is honest with me. I cultivate friendships that support my dreams. I created this blog to add another support to my life. None of these are more important than the belief that I have in myself. You must find ways to cultivate your own self love.

If all you do is complain then you aren’t giving yourself the opportunity to see what you capable of changing. If you need to vent, do it and then find options that will pull you in a better direction. I have faith that you can handle these tough times; you have to believe that you have all the tools to make whatever you want to happen, really happen.

You must give yourself the love that is needed to overcome unexpected change.

Some people:

• Practice Mantras
• Use prayer (asking for strength)
• Go into a mini-depression to find a better understanding of themselves and their options. Other people may call it a concentrated contemplative state, but this negates the sad feelings.

I don’t recommend the last one unless you’ve been dealing with this technique for the last twenty years.

How do you cope with change? How do you encourage self-love to pick yourself up when you are down?

If you liked this article you’ll enjoy these:

• Day 18 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 16 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 8 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 1of 30 – No Complaining
• No More Complaining at Work – A Thirty Day Challenge

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

One day I’m complaining about the weather then the next day may be a similar day of weather and I’m enjoying it. My mood dictates my complaining.

I’ve been documenting my successes and difficulties of no complaining for the month of December.  My complaining hasn’t reduced that much; I wish that I could report that it has, but I must be honest.

The positive that has come from this challenge is my ability to not connect with my complaining. I am learning to allow my external and internal complaints to happen, but not let it dictate my feelings.

In my last “No Complaining” update I talked about how I complained to a fellow co-worker about my lack of pay. We all want just a little more. What I noticed from watching the complaint pop out was my lack of attachment to it. I care that I don’t make as much money as I would like, but I’m reducing its ability to dictate how I feel.

Andy Rooney and Politicians

I’ve been watching Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes, who is one big complainer. He whines about his watches, hand bags, and everything else in his life. His complaining has made him millions of dollars. He even complained because 60 Minutes gave him a watch with no numbers on it. The audience just chuckles at his observations.

He whines and gets rewarded. It’s because of his tone. If he whined without including a bit of humor to his voice no one would watch him.

The same goes for politicians. The weaker party always whines about the party in power. They do this to keep bringing awareness to the issues. Eventually people take notice when government inadequacies affect them. The weaker party can say, “We’ve been saying that for the past two years.”

We don’t notice this as complaining because they do it with authority. They make a claim and shout it to the world. The anger masks the complaining as a strength instead of a weakness.

The Silver Lining of Complaining

Most people in my life whine for the sake of whining, but never look for a silver lining. They just point out what’s wrong with a situation, but do nothing with this information. I don’t mind a bit of complaining if it’s lined with something funny, makes a good point or creates a compelling reason to take action.

On my way home I noticed my complaining kicking in during my commute home… again. But this time I wasn’t attached to the pain. I noticed these feelings then thought about eating dinner with Nikki and posting this blog post. Weaving the direction of my complaints into a positive feeling or letting it spur me into action has done wonders for my happiness.

If you enjoyed this article I know you’ll like:

• Day 16 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 8 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 1of 30 – No Complaining
• No More Complaining at Work – A Thirty Day Challenge

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

No complaining can feel fake. I complain to get empathy. This social skill that I’ve strengthened and perfected over the last thirty years is no longer available. This isn’t easy to let go. Like I said in my last update – Day 8 of No Complaining, I’ve fallen off the complaining wagon many times. I’ve been able to catch my mistakes more quickly, but you and I know that old habits only die with a lot of effort.

It was time to put up Christmas lights and I don’t get excited about stringing lights from one end of the house to the other, but I does encourage a festive atmosphere. My technique used to always be to complain about my sacrifice, (oh how hard I work) get my wife to thank me for all my future effort, then get it done as quickly as possible.

This same pattern started right on queue, but with a different ending. Instead of rushing to get it all done I relaxed with the work. The complaining in my head stopped. I was there in each action. The placement of my ladder was calculated, executed and enjoyed. Even the tangled wires didn’t frustrate me. I’ve been working on building this skill, but most days I have fallen back into old thought habits. This time I was able to stop rushing and just enjoy the task.

I’m pretty sure it was because of this 30 day challenge. By not letting my thoughts go wild I’ve been able to steer them toward the feelings that bring happiness, or at least a relaxed state.

What is frustration? It’s internal complaining. The moment isn’t exactly how you want it to be, so you unleash a barrage of complaints to vent.

I just untangled the string of lights and made an effort to look for the fun about the situation instead of what was bad. I was also able to let go of worrying about what else I would rather be doing. I was there stringing up lights and that was good.

Feeling Fake

I came back inside and told my wife that the Christmas lights were all done. I wanted to go into a mini-tirade about how much of a pain it was (like I usually do), but this time I knew that I didn’t really feel that way. My old habits couldn’t be applied any more. So what to do? Just tell my wife that they are done and hope that she thanks me. I knew I wouldn’t get my gushing hug and kiss. It would just be a “thanks hon.”

I realized that I was relying on validation from my wife instead of giving myself the love that I needed. I shouldn’t need my wife to gush over a simple job like putting up Christmas lights.

I decided to have a mini celebration. 10 minutes of Yoga then on to the next task. After I was done I was happy with where I was at. I didn’t need my wife to create a big fuss for me to enjoy stringing up the Christmas lights.

I started Work Happy Now to help people (myself included) to maximize their work happiness. I thought about how managers can create a better work environment, how CEO’s can lead better, and how HR managers can improve their incentive programs, which are all needed.

These ideas are all well and good, but the 50/50 Effect yells louder than words.

50% of our happiness comes from external circumstances and 50% comes from within. I’ve found that the more I cultivate my personal development at work and at home, the happier I become.

Some of you may think that you don’t complain that much. Maybe you don’t need a 30 day challenge of no complaining. You may be right, but I’m sure there is something you need to personally develop in order to reach a new level of happiness.

Intensifying Your Awareness

The more you challenge yourself to become aware of your thought process the easier it will be to handle a difficult co-worker or a difficult child. You may be like me where the process sometimes feels fake, but eventually this barrier will crumble. You are intensifying your awareness which helps you see the truth.

Many alcoholics don’t want to quit drinking alcohol because it helps them relax and enjoy a party. They don’t want to focus on the negatives (hang-overs, poor judgment, and cell damage (liver and brain especially).  They see what they want until they hold a magnifying glass up to all those warts.

A thirty day challenge forces you to take a good hard look at a weakness. I used to complain about presents. I didn’t like this or that about them, but I’ve realized that presents aren’t about just me. They are about the giver and the receiver. If I could stop complaining and enjoy the act of receiving a present I could make the person I’m with happier.

If you can be more flexible at work, you will cultivate happier co-workers. So try a 30 day challenge of your own. Pick out a weakness and try to improve it in thirty days. You may not stop your bad habit completely, but that’s okay. I have a feeling that I’ll still complain, but as the months go by it will be less and less.

What do you need to work on to get to that next level? Would you like to make more friends? Then create a thirty day trial that forces you to interact with new people. It’s all about the numbers. The more people you meet the better chance you have at making new friends. Would you like to start your own business? Then put a thirty day plan together that makes you work on your business plan until it has a foundation that gets you so excited that you just want to keep going.

If you like this article you’ll probably enjoy these too:

• Day 8 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 1of 30 – No Complaining
• No More Complaining at Work – A Thirty Day Challenge

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

I can’t say that I was perfect. Man-o-man did I slip up more than once. I caught myself on the phone complaining to a co-worker about my salary. With so many people losing their jobs, I decided to stop myself in mid-sentence and I changed the topic. It may not be the perfect job, but at least I work with good people.

No complaining has been harder than I expected because it’s a part of how I communicate with my co-workers. I don’t think all complaining is bad – far from it. The reason I started this 30 day trial was to become more aware of my thoughts and actions and see if I might want to implement “no complaining” into the rest of my life.

I’m wavering on this at the moment. I can see how no complaining has improved my mood, but I can also see a loss of connection with other people. Just the other day a fellow co-worker was complaining about the spending habits of the company. I totally agreed and was ready to give my own example, but I couldn’t. All I could do was empathize with her.

The conversation died and we were left in silence until I brought up college football. That’s what was cool about no complaining; it took our conversation in a more positive direction.

I’m not going to rush to make a decision on whether to stay with no complaining forever. I’m going to wait until the 30 days is up then make my choice.

The Signals We Send Out

In the past, when I complained about having to do a report I was reinforcing the negative. My thoughts were focused on why the situation wasn’t living up to my expectations. I was signaling to myself and others that I wanted to be lazy. Side Note: Laziness isn’t all bad in moderate doses.

Complaining signals to people how we want to be treated. The problem with complaining is that it shows people what we don’t want instead of encouraging them to give us what we need.

I tried a little twist in the way I signal my co-workers during a conversation. Instead of complaining about a crappy task, I graciously accepted it then asked for something in return. Of course I don’t always do this, only when the moment feels right.

This is how I was able to maneuver some of my duties to be outside of the office, like speaking to high school students about financial literacy. I didn’t realize that I had been doing this over the past few years. Now that I’m becoming more conscious of my complaining, it has been easier to communicate my needs.

When I graciously accepted the project and signaled that I also wanted to try something new I was showing my boss that I was a team player, but also wanted something fun to work on. He got the hint and now I’m helping create the structure of my day instead of just doing as I’m told.

Internal Complaining

For the past couple of days as I was getting ready for work I was internally complaining about getting out from underneath the warm covers, standing on the cold tile floor in the bathroom, and how I needed more time to do Yoga before work.

I watched this happen since the beginning of this 30 day trial. The funny thing is I knew it was there, but I’ve gotten so used to my complaining that it took a few days for me to really be honest with myself and admit that I was complaining.

Once I noticed this internal whining I stopped feeding into it and took action. Two mornings ago I ripped off the covers and tried to enjoy the feeling. Way too shocking. Nothing but negatives were popping out of my thoughts. I tried a different technique this past morning.

I slowly inched the covers off and let the cool air envelope my skin. This technique worked. My senses weren’t overloaded and I had time to adjust and figure out the little nuances of the experience.

To solve the cold tile problem, I just put on my slippers. An easy solution that I had previously ignored because I just loved complaining instead of doing something about it.

I still couldn’t find enough time for my Yoga, well… not as much as I wanted. It was my fault. I had decided to send out a couple of emails, accept comments, and comment on a few blogs. I accepted that these choices were made instead of doing Yoga. By accepting my decisions I stopped creating conflict. Just because I wasn’t able to do Yoga doesn’t mean I wasn’t making good use of my time.

I’m the youngest in the family and those of you who are the youngest probably understand what I’m talking about. We’re used to getting what we want.

By-product of the No Complaining Challenge

My mood has significantly improved. I don’t think I would be able to see much of a difference if I just took notes at the end of each day. I would be missing the moment to moment improvements. By staying aware of these moments I’ve readjusted my thinking, which has helped me see what the “no complaining” challenge was really doing for me.

I’ve been able to sustain a more “even” emotional level. For example, I would usually get frustrated if I couldn’t get an email finished the way I expected. I would leave my chair, go to the bathroom and come back with a fresh take on my writing. This hasn’t happened as much. I’ve stopped my internal complaining about not meeting my expectations and accepted that the email is what it is. Since it wasn’t perfect I just slowed down and started rereading at the beginning, making sure I knew exactly what I wanted to say.

I’m not sure if this is a byproduct of all the development I’ve cultivated over these past couple of years, but whatever the case, this “no complaining” trial has raised my emotional development to a new level.

To break it all down, the only difference between me before and after my week of “no complaining” is my awareness. I’m still internally complaining, but I’m not feeding into these thoughts. The thought comes in and I begin to play with it. I bat it around, laugh at it then see if I can turn it into something that I can enjoy.

Complaining is not an evil habit, it’s just a way for your mind to grab attention. If you give attention to the complaint and then give your mind something more positive to work with, you can use complaining as a tool to increase awareness of your thoughts and feelings. It has helped my emotional intelligence grow stronger and I know it will help you be able to create the experience you want instead of letting the situation dictate your feelings.

If you liked this article, you’ll like these too:

• Day 8 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 1of 30 – No Complaining
• No More Complaining at Work – A Thirty Day Challenge

Download the Free eBook Work Happy the Google Way * Post from: Work Happy Now!

My first day of no complaining went well. My mood was especially chipper. I wasn’t surprised by this because I could tell that I was on a mission. I wasn’t going to succumb to the temptation of whining/complaining.

I only noticed myself complain when I was interrupted in the middle of an email. My boss wanted me to work on a different project and a little complaint came out. I whined that I wasn’t able to finish my thought. I didn’t let my boss hear my complaint, it was just under my breath, but alas it was still there.

Internal Complaining

I could feel my internal whine begin to come out on my way home. Traffic wasn’t too bad, but it’s a weak spot for me. I think this was due to my low blood sugar levels. I usually stop snacking around 3pm, so as not to fill myself up before dinner. I’m going to keep an eye on this because I might be able to reduce my complaining by keeping my blood sugar at a tolerable level or actually learning to deal with less food and not let my body dictate my happiness. This will be fun.

Before I allowed the usual commuting to rage come out, I decided to nip it in the bud with a book on tape. By occupying my mind I was able to relax pretty much my whole way home. I’ve tried this before, but my ADD usually kicks in and I forget to stay focused. I made up my mind to listen to the book and I stayed with it.

My wife was at night school so I was stuck walking the dog and cooking a meal. We usually trade off, so a little sigh came out. I considered it a complaint. I’m trying to be tough on myself in the beginning so I’ll improve as the 30 days progress.

By Product of the No Complaining 30 day trial

My face was very relaxed today. Most days I have some tension in my forehead, lower back and jaw. This tension was non existent. I’m not sure if it was a lucky day or not, but I’m going to keep an eye on this too.

Because I’m not allowed to complain I’m noticing that my thoughts are trying to find something positive in the situation. I think all my personal development work over these past ten years has really helped me to reach this level.  Not too bad (a little pat on the back. My mini celebration – Yes!)

I can feel that it’s easier to access positive thoughts because I’ve been planting positive seeds that are really flourishing.

I’ve decided I’m not going to write about No Complaining every day. I think my next post on the no complaining trial will be this time next week, unless some brilliant breakthrough occurs.

If you liked this article I bet you will probably like these too:

• Day 16 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 8 of 30 – No Complaining
• Day 1of 30 – No Complaining
• No More Complaining at Work – A Thirty Day Challenge

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