The Target in the Bull(y)’s Eye
* This is a guest post from a reader who wishes to remain anonymous.
I used to be really happy at work and looked forward to going into my office every day. Most of the projects I worked on were challenging-in a good way-and engaged my interest and curiosity, I had a great bunch of colleagues, and we were even able to laugh when Murphy’s Law would strike with a vengeance! Things started to change about six years ago when a new director was parachuted into the position, despite the fact that it was supposed to have been posted as an open competition: Therein marked the beginning of the end of the positive, upbeat morale and warm atmosphere that characterized our department.
It became pretty clear, fairly quickly, that this boss’s management style and interpersonal skills were going to be a challenge for all of us at times. Specifically, we started seeing some “interesting” approaches to anger/stress/frustration management and increasing tendencies to back-bite others in the organization, as well as a reluctance to deal with an occupational health issue on more than one occasion, and periodic bullying of various staff members by our boss. (For the record, I encouraged these individuals to document and report their experiences but they were reluctant to do so, for whatever reasons.)
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Work Bullies are Stressful
Sometimes the boss stresses you out and other times it’s a co-worker who’s a bully, but no matter what it is you must face it in order to relieve the anxiety that a difficult situation creates. Dumb Little Man wrote an excellent article, How to Deal with a Workplace Bully. I’ve had mild cases of being bullied. Some people just like to push themselves on to you. They might not even realize that they are making you feel uncomfortable. Try talking to them and making them aware of how they are acting and most likely they will stop. If they don’t, then try reading this article and see if you can use some of his tips.
Bullying is a deliberate attempt to control or undermine you. It typically happens over a prolonged period of time and it can severely damage your self esteem and confidence. It can be subtle or overt. It can take place in private or in front of others. The circumstances can vary greatly from person to person. Here are some examples of bullying behavior at work:
A co-worker or supervisor constantly complains to other team members that you aren’t pulling your weight. They make jokes at your expense and accuse you of making mistakes you haven’t made. In private they constantly belittle, insult and even threaten you. You feel frightened, angry, ashamed and embarrassed.
Most of our stress doesn’t come from the work itself; it’s the people who we are involved with that cause our stress. Please be aware of how other people are making you feel, and if they aren’t treating you right then stand up for yourself or find help.
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